Questions asked e-mail
Im not sure if this is the right area to put this in...but anyway.....
I have been looking for a horse for a while now. Me and my trainer have been out to see a few horses here and there but with no luck. My trainer is a busy person, so i can't expect here to find and arrange horses for me to see.
Therefor, i would like to get more involved. My trainer said it would be a good help if i contacted the person through e-mail or a phone call. If im interested in a horse and he sounds good, then i'll just let her know and we can work out a time to go see that horse together.
Anyhow, since im not a big talker i decided to just e-mail them asking questions and stuff about the horse. The problem is that im only 14 yrs old, and i don't really know how to format a proper e-mail. I have a lot of questions that i want to ask, but i really don't know how to ask them. Do i just list them, or....?
Anyways, if anybody could give me tips on how to write a good e-mail, that would be greatly appretiated :D
Kudos to you for looking for help!
Could a parent help you look over the email? Spelling and Grammar are important. Read over and look for any mistakes.
As someone who has sold horses before, I like phone better, but in an email, I would like to hear from an adult so that I know you are serious about buying a horse. No offense met to you, but I think that is a general feeling. Let them know what you are looking for, and find out if that horse fits the bill. As far as asking questions, I have never minded if they were in a list or whatever as long as the email sounded educated and professional. Be honest and try not to waste the sellers time.
Could you maybe type up a quick draft of the kinds of questions you want to ask, what you are looking for, etc and maybe we can see what needs help! :)
First, as Spastic already said, spelling and proper grammar are extremely important. If you're unsure how to spell or phrase something, ask someone who has a good grasp of the English language.
"Me and my trainer" is horribly incorrect. It should be "My trainer and I".
NEVER use text speak! Ever! If you want your e-mail deleted as soon as it's received, use text speak.
Don't ask any questions that have already been answered in the ad. Those types of e-mails also usually get deep sixed by sellers. If you can't read and comprehend a detailed ad, the seller will think you're an illiterate moron.
Writing a response to an ad should go something like this:
Hello, my name is XXXXXX and I saw your ad for XXXXXXX.
I'm very interested in your horse, and I'd like to set up an appointment to meet you and ride him/her.
Since I'm only 14 y/o, my trainer will also need to come with me to the appointment.
If you need to verify that I'm not just a teenager 'wish buying', you may contact my parent/guardian at XXX-XXX-XXXX. His/her name is XXXXXXX.
Put any questions you have in between the second and third paragraphs. Keep them brief, concise, and to the point. Don't ramble about how you LOFF the horse's color, or how you've always dreamed of having a horse just like this one.
This is a preamble to a possible monetary transaction, and the seller needs to know you're not just wasting their time.
Well, I have sent out so many inquiry emails, I'll share mine with you! I try to tailor it with any specific questions from the ad:
Is XXXX still available? I am looking for a quiet horse that wants to be spoiled! As an adult returning rider who grew up riding hunter jumpers, I would also like to learn basic, LL dressage. How far along is he in his training? Has he been to any offsite shows? Does he tend to have nervous / hot energy? My confidence on quick, strong horses is not what it used to be! I really enjoy spending tons of time on the ground, grooming, baths, hand grazing, etc. How is he when handled on the ground? Does he enjoy being fussed over? How is he with baths, clipping, braiding, farrier, vet, crossties, trailering? Any pics would be greatly appreciated!
Once I receive a response from the owner that I'm interetsed in, I'll send a follow up email asking any additional questions about the information provided, as well as questions about their medical history, UTD on shots / coggins, etc.
Hope this helps to give you a start!
SR is giving you great advice.
It might be good to ask for further photos or a video if one was not posted in the ad prior to asking to visit.
You can go over the photos and videos with your trainer and that will save you having to visit some horses that will obviously not work for what you want.
Good post, Speed Racer
To add - you could put in your minimum requirements for the horse that are not mentioned in the ad.
If you need the horse to be used to goats, or barking dogs or the windmill in the pasture, etc.
I always ask why the horse is for sale. Yes, times are tough - but it is pushing some folks to be a bit less than honest.
At the time we look at a horse, I ask if they would ever buy the horse back. I wait and ask that one in person as you can see the reaction on their face.
ok, here is the first draft of the e-mail. I used a few of the lines that were written, hope thats not a problem. Anyhow, any comments about this draft would be great :) i don't want to make any mistakes ^-^
Hello, my name is [My name] and I saw your ad for [Horse’s Name].
Although I am only 14 y/o, I am not a beginner rider. I have been trained in jumping, but I am looking for a dressage horse as I am planning on pursuing that course. I am looking for a horse that has enough energy to make things interesting, yet a horse that I can control without too much difficulty.
From the ad, it sounds as though [horse’s name] has the qualities I am looking for in a potential mount. I do however have a few questions. First of all, is she patient? Does she constantly want to go faster or keep moving? While grooming does she stand and let you brush her or does she constantly move around waiting for you finish? Secondly, what type of rider does she need? Can almost anybody ride her comfortable or does she need a confident experienced rider in order for her to perform?
I also have a few questions about her price. It says on the ad that the price is negotiable. Ideally, I would like to pay $6,700 for a horse. Would this be a price that you are willing to consider? Would you be open to payment plans or other methods of payment?
If you need to verify that I'm not just a teenager 'wish buying', you may contact my parent/guardian at [phone number] His/her name is [parent’s name].
Anymore pictures or videos of this horse would be greatly appreciated.
I think that's a great email! Very professional. I would take out the paragraph about price, unless you are looking at a horse that is advertised WAY over budget. Then you might ask, "are you willing to be negotiable on your asking price?" Specifics about price are best left for discussion after you meet the horse and decide if you like him/her.
^^ was just thinking that. dont start off with price. it kind of makes you look cheep. If the horse isnt close to your budget dont waste the sellers time. I like to make my emails short at first.
- what I want/ my riding level
- talk about things you want clarified from the ad
- ask some general questions (so you know if this is what your looking for)
i ask specifics when i get there (i forget email specifics when i am looking at alot of horses.) i even bring a list of more questions to ask in person.
i dont like that you have your age on there first. IMO put it to the bottom, after the seller reads the email, and sees you are a competent individual. I wouldn't add that last paragraph. I would just put my contact info, along with my trainer's and my parents'.
|All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:54 PM.|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0