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BrokenWings 11-13-2009 11:13 AM

I have a problem.....
 
I'll give you guys the background, sorry if it's long ;/ 3 years ago my friend and I made the cardinal first time buyer's mistake of buying yearlings with no experience. We were both very lucky, as we still have both horses and they turned out to have wonderful, willing and sweet personalities. Here's the issue though.
My horse progressed well in his training. He started under saddle (lightly) at 2 and was amazing, and now at 4 does trails like a pro, ponies my young daughter and in general is turning out great.
Her horses' training has been spotty due to health/other issues. He did 2 months with the trainer with my boy, did great, but then sat in a field for months. She decided to do a refresher for him with the trainer. He did 1 month of trail riding with them, then nothing again for months. She hardly ever sees him. He is becoming bored, and now rushes at the gate when I pull my horse from the paddock. His manners are slipping and it is getting worse.

I want her to sell him. It is not fair to him to sit around and be bored. When he is employed, he is amazing. Under saddle, he is a total sweetheart. But he needs consistancy, and he is simply not getting it. She has a wonderful offer to sell this week, to a lovely family with time/money for traning, and she refused. Then they asked if they could part board him, and she said no, she doesn't want anyone riding him.

She is struggling with this horse and they are both suffering. Am I being too nosey? Should I butt out? I suggested the part board to her and she is furious with me, so I am at a loss here.....

Void 11-13-2009 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrokenWings (Post 459946)
I'll give you guys the background, sorry if it's long ;/ 3 years ago my friend and I made the cardinal first time buyer's mistake of buying yearlings with no experience. We were both very lucky, as we still have both horses and they turned out to have wonderful, willing and sweet personalities. Here's the issue though.
My horse progressed well in his training. He started under saddle (lightly) at 2 and was amazing, and now at 4 does trails like a pro, ponies my young daughter and in general is turning out great.
Her horses' training has been spotty due to health/other issues. He did 2 months with the trainer with my boy, did great, but then sat in a field for months. She decided to do a refresher for him with the trainer. He did 1 month of trail riding with them, then nothing again for months. She hardly ever sees him. He is becoming bored, and now rushes at the gate when I pull my horse from the paddock. His manners are slipping and it is getting worse.

I want her to sell him. It is not fair to him to sit around and be bored. When he is employed, he is amazing. Under saddle, he is a total sweetheart. But he needs consistancy, and he is simply not getting it. She has a wonderful offer to sell this week, to a lovely family with time/money for traning, and she refused. Then they asked if they could part board him, and she said no, she doesn't want anyone riding him.

She is struggling with this horse and they are both suffering. Am I being too nosey? Should I butt out? I suggested the part board to her and she is furious with me, so I am at a loss here.....

To save your friendship I would butt out.

BrokenWings 11-13-2009 11:25 AM

That's what I am thinking too. It's maybe not worth the hardship. Our dream was to ride them together, but it's putting a lot of pressure on our friendship.....

speedy da fish 11-13-2009 02:21 PM

no your not being nosey! I think she should sell, if she isnt riding him, ignores him, doesnt see him then why wont she sell him?

(let her see this thread when people have given their opinion)

Alwaysbehind 11-13-2009 02:25 PM

This is one of those tough situations.

If you have offered her the idea of selling being best and she has gotten mad at you, then it is time to leave it be if you want to continue the friendship.

Though the horse could do more, it really is not hurting it to do nothing.

BrokenWings 11-13-2009 02:48 PM

I agree. The only issue is occasionally she 1) cannot pay her board and I end up paying it for her. We have a lot of time/money invested in him. and 2) my dad is over the moon for the horse, so he wants to work with him, but he is waaay too much horse for him because of his lack of manners. Sometimes it gets a little sticky, but most of the time he is well behaved.

BrokenWings 11-13-2009 02:50 PM

that's the thing, she does not ride him, does not even see him. The only time he gets attention is when we are around. I am 9 months pregnant, and have 2 other horses to deal with, so it's getting really hard to pay attention to him too. he is a sweet horse, but she really does not have the confidence he needs to be brought to his potential.

FlitterBug 11-13-2009 02:54 PM

This is a problem that I run into constantly, and I can tell you from experience that you can't give anyone advice or help if they don't want it. It is very hard, I have watched many horses hit rock bottom before their owners will admit that they need to do something about it. It is sad, its not the horses fault.

She will get through it sooner or later, but you will have to wait for her to realize on her own that she needs help with the horse.

sillybunny11486 11-13-2009 02:56 PM

if my friend confronted me about it i would be really pissed off. I understand your concern, but
1. you dont have control over the horse, so dont worry about it
2. as long as he isnt being neglected, in terms of necessary care or food its not really a problem, its more of what you percieve.

Stop paying her board. maybe shell realize she cant really afford him and sell him.

FlitterBug 11-13-2009 02:59 PM

Actually, after reading your last posts, you do have some extra control here. What kind of contract was signed reguarding boarding? If she can't pay her own board, then she should be looking for another option for the horse. I don't know what your board runs, but I think I would make some type of contract stating that if she can't pay you back then you get the horse. It doesn't sound like she is in the place to argue.


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