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- - Dear Santa (http://www.horseforum.com/general-off-topic-discussion/dear-santa-43343/)
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mike's (administrator) Christmas party. It was RusticWildFire who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 23 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like horse poo with a mysterious flavour in it.
I thought it was funny when I put Appylover's size 54 bra on my head and it slipped all the way to the floor while dancing the Jive on the computer chair and singing `Listen to you Heart'. I didn't mean to break JustDressageit's water bra errr ballons- she said I could borrow them and don't know how it ended down on 3Neighs shirt. I certainly shouldn't have been sued for it.
I don't remember calling Kentucky's wife a large horse---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and baby blue lipstick! Good buttocks though.
And when I threw up on Iride's neck, it was only because I ate too much of that turkey that his wife cooked. Note to self..have someone taste test it first.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Audi through Farmpony's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for Farmpony to call me a scared dog and have me arrested for speeding! I was hoping to see Percy..in some sort of state.
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dirty and cold. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and patiently yours,
Spyder (Really a nice girl!...sometimes)
P.S. It's only 6 bucks!
Falling of a chair laughing *rips and knocks*.
Santa may forgive you for the chaos that ensued at the Horse Forum Christmas Party, but I'm afraid it's going to take me some time.
My arms are exhausted from scrubbing the carpet, and I have much more to go. Who'd of thought one Spyder could produce such a mess!?
Unfortunately I spent the last of my money on cleaning products. Know that I did try trading in carrots for your bail, but they wouldn't have it.
I hope you at least have some good company there. Luckily for them you don't have access to wine.
Next year we will pull a plastic basin beside the table for you to sit in and take your keys.
PS: Madlib? I remember those!
So lets hear from the other members of HF about their "Dear Santa" version.:-P
I really didn't mean it when I hit my brother and almost hurt him about a million times this year. Something told me to do it.....
And should I REALLY be blamed for smashing my hand in the car door? It was Daniel who did the smashing, and all of the sudden it's my fault?
And I'm really sorry I stoll all those carrotts, but man, they looked so good, how could I not!
So what I really want for Christmas is no little brother, a nonhurt hand, and carrots. (perferibly Spyder's because they are more fun to steal :D)
Awaiting your arivle,
Haha you guys crack me up! I'm not good at these so I'll just sit back and watch or read I should say lol.
Donating $1 for spyders bail :)
I don't think it's fair that people accuse me of STEALING their carrots when they've left them unattended! I mean, doesn't everyone have a right to climb up on a pedastool and play the self-righteous do-gooder? It was for the carrots that I snuck out into the forum in the middle of the night all those times, stealing, I mean saving all those poor pitiful NEGLECTED carrots! It means I'm a good girl.
I am such a kind and caring person that I would be proud to send bail money to the Spyder but I spent it all on the ingredients I will need to make the most delicious carrot cake ever created. I love these tiny little shrivled orange trinkets that I've stol-saved throughout the year.
Santa, I've been a good girl. A pretty pretty little princess riding through the forum saving the community one carrot at a time...
OH! And I really really didn't mean to put that vodka in Vidaloco's egg nog. I had no idea the loco in her name really stood for WOWSERS! Who'd have thought it would make her clothes come off so quickly like that! And Barbarosa... WHOA BABY! He really takes control of a situation doesn't he? And can he 2-step or what?
I did NOT MEAN to knock My2Geldings over into the punch bowl the way I did. It wasn't my fault really. I mean, she's so nimble that I forget that she has so much bailing twine and all those screws and plates from all the frankenstein surgeries she's had over the years. You know, to put humpty dumpty back together again... and when she got out on the dance floor with her man and did that dancing with the stars routine, I'd never have known what she's been through. And besides, the guys seemed to like her in that wet t-shirt... Especially after Spyder took her water bra.
I'm not sure why Administrator was being such a Fuddy duddy about all that puke, I have to admit, I've never had a turkey that tasted quite like that before, it was quite interesting. When Stormyblues and Gotxhorses snuck in, I know I should have reported them but we were having so much fun and how was I supposed to know the punch was spiked? I did NOT do that... and I didn't know they'd drink it... Or that they'd puke so much. Who would have thought a person could puke that much?
And I'm sorry I didn't help with the clean up. But I was too busy being selfish- I mean, caring for the well being of others.
Will you bring me a new living quarters trailer for Christmas please? I've been really really good!
^hahahaha! You made me laugh and scare the people sitting around me! :D
keep 'em coming guys!
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