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starlinestables 02-05-2010 09:17 PM

Having second thoughts :o(
I've been on this forum a while so I'm sure a few of you have read my posts on various things horsey.. this will be a more personal post.

As most of you know I have a 6 stall barn on 10 acres and we lease out an additional 35 acres and have pasture boarders as well. My parents actually own the land and my husband and I sold our house to move in with them to finish the barn and then buy this place from them. This summer will be 4 years since we've started building. We now have a pretty nice place but still needs work...were about to start a small addition to house a porch, office, bathroom and extend the tackroom. We also need to redo the arena footing and add arena lights. We have a few drainage issue that need to be worked out. The house on the property is awful so we plan to build a 40x60 shop with a 40x40 apartment in it that we will live in the next few years until we build our nice house.

The thing is my husband is the one that builds all of this and does the heavy lifting and repairs around the barn... He is superman! However, we argue ALOT. We have a 2 year old who also makes the horse life difficult. My husband also LOVES guns... wants to have a whole armory but he wants then NOW and the barn needs to keep improving! See where the argument comes in?

Anyway... I would be happy to sell my horses and just have 1 that I can focus my time on. I havn't ridden in a week because my arena has been obliterated by the rain! Right now I would love to just board my horse where theres an indoor and live in a nice move-in ready home where we can have the money for my husbands hobby's and doesn't have to work all the time.. We could go on freaking vacation! Instead of buying trailer loads of hay and shavings I could by nice riding clothes and go to horse shows and not have to worry about who is feeding my horses. My son would also have more room to run around and I don't have to worry about him getting trampled. Yes I would be very sad to sell 1 horse in particular... this has also been my home pretty much for the last 12 years with the exception of college.. This is probably the only time I will have a chance to own my own boarding facility.

Please tell me I'm crazy.. that I have a good thing going!

ridergirl23 02-05-2010 09:27 PM

You are crazy! i am thinking that you are just going through a REALLY hard time right now, but i think once the barn is finished and everything is settled down thenit will all run smoothly, you say your boy is two? i think once he reaches 3 or 4 you wont have to worry SO much anymore because he will understand no going near the horses or in their pastures/stalls. it might help if you sell one or two hroses, how many do you have?, if you want to keep a nice balance going.

i think getting started must be the hardest thing you can do in the hrose business. good luck :)

maura 02-05-2010 09:29 PM

You're not crazy. You do have a good thing going, but your good thing requires an amazing amount of time, work, money and dedication. Boarding is not a huge money making opportunity (you've figured that part out already, I'm guessing) but you should be able to figure out a way to make it work for you and your horses. I was nodding along with the stuff you were saying in the post and that I got to: she has a two year old! Holy crap! All this other stuff, and a two year old! Crap!

I don't have any advice for you just now, just lots of sympathy, and no, you're not crazy.

sillybunny11486 02-05-2010 09:38 PM

Honestly I dont think I could run a barn. I dont think Id want to. I would be fine with my horses on a few acres, and just my horses. It would put to much of a strain on my relationship with my partner. Hes fine with me having two. But when it comes to taking care of other peoples horses he puts his foot down. Probably because I have a hard time saying no, and I will help anyone out, even if it means 3 more hours at the barn.

I dont think you're crazy. Do what makes you happy and what's best for you. My dad loves his guns. I think if need be we could arm the town militia lol. Its caused many fights with my parents, mostly over the money spent. When my dad makes a purchase, my mom is allowed to also. She usually gets some new furniture.

If you think it would be a better life you your son, well thats the most important thing. I used to board at this one barn, pasture board, for about a year. I didnt even know the BO had a baby, because she never brought her outside. She was afraid something would happen and she would wonder into the pasture, or into the busy drive way. It was kind of sad, because her older sister grew up at their old farm (less busy.)

starlinestables 02-05-2010 09:45 PM

I have 5. I have an oldenburg mare (the one I would keep). I have an arab gelding who was my first horse (The one that I would have trouble giving up) who I also use as my lesson horse.. I have a CB mare that is a great lesson horse and a pony who is an ok lesson pony and the 5th one I love to death but she is a buy, train and re-sale.

I know in 3 years I will have a pretty nice place going... I just don't know if my marriage can last through it. :o/ I'm always the evil witch according to his friends, family and my family because everything he does is only for "me" when ALL I want is to ride horses and go to horse shows. I don't necessarily WANT to have boarders... It's starting to make sense that most of the trainers I know don't actually own the barns they work at lol.

CecilliaB 02-05-2010 09:59 PM

What if you found a way to give him a special day or gift? That way you could boost his resolve to do all this wonderful work for you and your family. Some times I think it takes very little to make our spouses happy, and a little recognition goes a long way.

Wallaby 02-05-2010 10:13 PM

I know nothing about relationships and all that but this is bringing to mind something my "Interpersonal Communications" teacher told us in class the other day. Take this with a grain of salt because I'm just sharing what I heard. =) But she was telling us, the women in the class, to never give something we love up for our husbands and say that we won't be/aren't bitter. She said "You will become bitter down the road." (since she is divorced because of a similar issue, I have reason to believe her, haha) So if you're worried about your marriage, don't give up what you love in an effort to save it, that isn't going to work and then you'll be out your horses and your marriage.
Just my $.02.

But if you really think this will help you get your life on track/it's what you should do, do it! But don't do it for him and expect whatever marital problems you're having to be solved.


ETA I agree with CecilliaB!

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