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Dizzy 02-12-2010 11:28 AM

My riding instructor/barn owner is downright horrible.
I have recently moved barns to one that's closer to me. I used to ride at this barn about 7 or 8 years ago and i had to leave, partly because the owner was a horrible, HORRIBLE person (and partly because at the end of it all i was being taught by 15 year olds, who were still students themselves, which didn't impress me). Well, i thought that now i'm a proper adult maybe things will be different, boy was i wrong. She didn't remember me at all, but right from the get go, the FIRST meeting, she was horrible. She's most definitely up on her high horse (pun intended :lol:).
Anyone would have thought that she was trying to provoke me into an all out fight she was so rude...all this, and in our first meeting. I didn't do or say anything to provoke this, yet she was so rude. It was as though she downright hated me, making snide, horrible comments and being outright condescending. It was almost unbelievable. She's actually known for being like this, but hell, i ride horses for fun. I'm not going to come here and PAY for fun, only to be shouted at and being made to feel like an idiot, which is how she made me feel.

I haven't had a lesson with her yet, but as another peson told me "she doesn't suffer fools". And here i am, only just starting to ride again after a VERY long break. I'm basically a beginner again. I AM going to make mistakes and my legs will NOT be strong enough yet.... i don't think i'll be able to handle her attitude... but the thing is, my options are limited.

This barn is the closest one to me, and that's not all. I plan to lease a horse in the summer, and her prices are the best. She's looking for around 100-150 per month (probably 120 for what i'd be looking for) and the other barn that's 40 minutes away from me where i had 3 lessons would be asking 220.
But it's not that easy. She has a limit on leasing horses, meaning that if i lease, it has to be at 3 month long intervals. Thing is, i would never be able to afford that. I could only ever do one month at a time to allow me to budget for the next month. In other words, if i were to lease for one month, come the end of that month i MAY be able to lease for a futher month, and come the end of THAT month i MAY be able to do the third month. There's no way i'd be able to commit to 3 months right off the bat. Because of this i need to feel that i can negotiate with her, therefore i can't exactly go around fighting with her, bumping heads and burning bridges (one of her employees hinted that if she knew me and we got along i could do it month by month). But she's just SO horrible and abrasive that it kind of defeats my aim of going there to have FUN.

How do i deal with this character?? I have no idea where to start. I don't want to be walked all over and being treated like an idiot but i can't be constantly fighting with her either if i am to get what i want...

Can anyone help?

Fowl Play 02-12-2010 11:49 AM

It kind of sounds like this isn't the right barn for you. Proximity is only 1 factor in finding the right fit. You have to be able to get along with this person, and if you already feel a personality conflict, you are likely going to be very unhappy. It sounds like you need to keep looking.

Speed Racer 02-12-2010 12:19 PM

If this person was so horrible years ago, why did you go back to that barn? People do not change their personalities, and you being an adult has nothing to do with it.

I'd rather board and take lessons at a barn farther from home, without all the drama. In the long run, you're going to hate riding and will stop altogether if you stay there.

Now to address the horse leasing issue. I don't know of anyone who will agree to a month-to-month lease on a horse. Most contracts are anywhere from 3 months to over a year.

Your asking for a month-to-month lease makes it impossible for the horse to be leased out to someone else in a timely manner if you can't come up with funds for the next month, so you're the one being unreasonable in this instance.

Leasing is about bringing in money for the horse owner, and if you're unable to sign a contract for more than a month at a time, you're a liability. I'd never lease a horse under those circumstances, either.

So to summarize, you hate this woman, you hate her barn, and yet her leasing prices are cheap so you're basing your decision to stay on that. However, since your finances are iffy you don't know if you'll be able to sign a standard leasing contract anyway.

Based on everything I'd say cut your losses, find another barn, forget about leasing for now, and just ride lesson horses until you're in a more financially secure position.

RhondaLynn 02-12-2010 12:23 PM

I agree totally with Speed Racer!

I would rather do without a horse for the immediate future than put up with someone like her. Keep looking you WILL find the right situation!


Alwaysbehind 02-12-2010 12:29 PM

I also totally agree with Speed Racer.

gypsygirl 02-12-2010 12:32 PM

^^ unless of course people lease their horse out for the horse's benefit and not to make money

either way this barn does not seem like the place for you. you will be much happier driving a bit further & possibly paying a bit more if you enjoy your time there

Annaland13 02-12-2010 12:34 PM

I agree with Speed Racer too. Definitely don't go to that barn if you hate it that much. And maybe you can pick up another shift at work to be able to lease a horse at a better place.

Dizzy 02-12-2010 12:34 PM

Leasing on a month to month basis seems to be standard practise here actually. I called up two other barns besides the two i have already been involved with and each of those two it was a month to month basis (one, including my other barn even did week by week, but it was all just too expensive).

And i'm pretty sure i'd be leasing the actual lesson horses that belong to her personally, not a livery horse so she has more wriggle room in these things.

Gillian 02-12-2010 12:46 PM

^ Save up for one of the more expensive ones. Sure, you won't have a horse right away, but if you lease at a bad barn you won't be having fun anyway.

justsambam08 02-12-2010 12:47 PM

If it were me, I wouldn't have put up with being talked down to from the get go. I wouldn't suggest you try and put up with it now, either. If you aren't boarding a horse there, go ahead and find another barn. If the personality of the instructor doesn't mesh well with yours, then you aren't going to learn anything.

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