|eventerwannabe ||02-22-2010 10:29 PM |
This is a never ending downward spiral.
I don't want to give up on my poor boy, but I don't know if I can do this anymore. There is to much heartbreak in this. In the almost 6 months I have had Bear I have had about 18 rides (roughly) and he has been lame 4 months out of the entire 5 2/3 months. I cry almost every day wishing how I could be riding him and both of us were happy. Most of all I wish he was happy and in no pain. I'm kicking myself in the ass for not getting a vet check on him, as I know they would have said, "run away, and run fast!" I mean, I love this guy to death, I really do, but this is just to much for my fragile heart, mind and soul. Both of my horses out in the field right now can't be ridden, can't move confortably, and are so sad. It breaks my heart to know they are in pain.
We are having the chiro work on him, but the trainer thinks that he needs xrays and such. My mom doesnt have the money for all of that! Xrays, injections, all that are so expensive, and my mom just cant afford all of that (though we can afford caring for the horses and such). I want ZERO lecturing about how 'if I can't afford all of that, then I shouldn't have a horse.'
I am going to talk to my mom tonight and see what she says. I might see if there is a therapeutic riding center around here (my mom actually knows a few people I think) and see if they have any openings for new horses.
I am looking at leases right now.
I am just so heartbroken and just dont want to see him in pain anymore. He is only 14 years old for gods sake.
Please, no rude comments. Im already upset enough (been crying since 5:30 pm).