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wannahorse22 05-18-2010 04:37 PM

I am in desperate need of good,thoughtful advice....
 
Hey everyone...

Here is my dillema. I have "wanted" a horse for a while now. You may be asking, why did i put qouation marks around wanted? Well, yes. i do want a horse. For awhile it was like "oh i would do something wrong". Or "I am going to wait till i am living on my own". And then more often its more like "I really really want one,but i am just afraid i couldent do it". Anyone understand? Now, i feel like i am the only one who has this problem...but i HAVE to get it out. I have trouble deciding who "i am". Like am i the girly girl,or the horse obsessed cowgirl? I hope someone has tthat problem:oops:

Second. My entire family (mom and dad side) are always pressuring me into this stuff (because some of them owned/own horrses) They say things like "so when are you going to get the horse" or "when is the barn going to be ready?". I just don't even know what to think anymore. I don't even know if i want one, because my head is to filled with oblivion to think!!! Help meee!!

P.S. I have been riding for a little over 3 yrs. (not to brag ,but i am good)I am currently riding a green horse. If you want you can PM me:):D

Speed Racer 05-18-2010 05:10 PM

Wanna, horses are supposed to be a passion, not an on and off thing.

If you're unsure that you really want a horse, don't have your folks buy you one.

You have a lot of life yet to get through, and you're barely into your teen years. A lot is going to happen to you both physically and mentally while you're growing up.

Boys (or girls, no judging) are going to become very attractive to you, and it would take a grand passion to keep you interested in horses when that happens. Sexual awakening is a very big thing in a young person's life, and can be rather overwhelming.

Your body and hormones will be going crazy, and unless you know for certain that horses are an important part of your life, they'll fall by the wayside.

That wouldn't be fair to the animal, and I know you don't want something like that to happen. But it will if you're not completely and irrevocably in love with the idea of owning and being around horses.

I've known all my life that horses would be a part of it. I knew it as a 2 y/o child when I saw a horse for the first time, I knew it as a hormonally charged teen, and I knew it as a young adult just starting out in the world.

Horses aren't merely a hobby, they're a way of life. Either you have the passion, or you don't. It's not a maybe, maybe not issue.

wannahorse22 05-18-2010 05:23 PM

thank you

Carleen 05-18-2010 07:45 PM

This is just a suggestion, so you can take it or leave it, but I think the best thing for you would be to stop riding/being around horses altogether. If you truly are meant to be a horse person, and you're not just falling to the pressure then you will realize pretty quickly. You'll ache to get back to the barn. It may take a week for you to realize it, it may take years. But you will eventually know if you're really in it for the long run.

ridergirl23 05-18-2010 07:48 PM

dont stereotype yourself! you said your either a girly girl or the hrose obessed cowgirl? why cant you be both! so many people ive met have this stereotyping themselves problem, and then they freak out when they dont fit into one! I ride, and im obsessed, but i like dresses, make-up and lip gloss, and i want fake nails, but I love going quading in the mountans, or swimmin in a random river. im kinda a mix of everything you could say... haha but thats what makes people different!!! so dont stereotype yourself! because you will NEVER findout who you are if your trying to fit into a steraotype :)

and besides that, haha, i agree with speed racer. sometimes i have to choose between going to the mall with my friends, or riding, sometimes its a hard decision, but as soon as i see my sweet little mare, going to the mall doesnt even compare! :)

wannahorse22 05-18-2010 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ridergirl23 (Post 637252)
dont stereotype yourself! you said your either a girly girl or the hrose obessed cowgirl? why cant you be both! so many people ive met have this stereotyping themselves problem, and then they freak out when they dont fit into one! I ride, and im obsessed, but i like dresses, make-up and lip gloss, and i want fake nails, but I love going quading in the mountans, or swimmin in a random river. im kinda a mix of everything you could say... haha but thats what makes people different!!! so dont stereotype yourself! because you will NEVER findout who you are if your trying to fit into a steraotype :)

and besides that, haha, i agree with speed racer. sometimes i have to choose between going to the mall with my friends, or riding, sometimes its a hard decision, but as soon as i see my sweet little mare, going to the mall doesnt even compare! :)


That was GREAT advice!! You are so right. I was trying to fit myself into a group. Thank you so much! Now, that i figured out myself, i guess i can really focus on the horse thing:)
P.S. I hate going to the mall anyways :D lol! For some odd reason, i am not really into hanging out with my friends outside of school. I kinda like to do my own little thing:)

wannahorse22 05-18-2010 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carleen (Post 637251)
This is just a suggestion, so you can take it or leave it, but I think the best thing for you would be to stop riding/being around horses altogether. If you truly are meant to be a horse person, and you're not just falling to the pressure then you will realize pretty quickly. You'll ache to get back to the barn. It may take a week for you to realize it, it may take years. But you will eventually know if you're really in it for the long run.

I've tried that, thanks for the advice though. If i need to i will take a months break from weekly lessons, but i am usually itching to get back! If i have a really bad day at school, i sometimes dread going to the barn. But once i am riding, it all is better.:D

claireauriga 05-19-2010 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carleen (Post 637251)
This is just a suggestion, so you can take it or leave it, but I think the best thing for you would be to stop riding/being around horses altogether. If you truly are meant to be a horse person, and you're not just falling to the pressure then you will realize pretty quickly. You'll ache to get back to the barn. It may take a week for you to realize it, it may take years. But you will eventually know if you're really in it for the long run.

Can I add the caveat that if you can cope just fine without the horses, that doesn't mean you should stop riding? It's fine to be a casual horseperson, to enjoy many other things too - it would just be unwise to take on the massive commitment of owning a horse if you're not sure you want to stick with it in the long run.

I am a pretty casual rider; I enjoy horses but I don't know how much I'd want to go down to the stables in the freezing rain in December to muck out a stall. Because of this, I am not buying a horse, and the most I would consider is loaning/leasing one with the understanding that I could return it with a month's notice at any time. That would give me the security I need to see if I really am able to deal with horses in good times as well as bad; if I can be a responsible horse owner.

Heatherloveslottie 05-19-2010 05:21 AM

I would take some time out from riding and then see how much you miss it, that should give you a good idea as to whether you really want horses in your life.

Other than that i don't really know what to say! I've always always loved horses since I knew what one was, and that's been my one stability throughout my whole life. And now in my teenage years, it's my anti-stress. After everything that's gone on in the day I know I can just go down to the horses and enjjpy their company without any hassle.

And as for the stereotypes, don't let them define you, you have to define yourself! Take it from me, I'm a 5ft10 girl who goes to clubs and enjoys shopping whilst at the same time doesn't care about horse muck and quite enjoys the odd hike!

I would wait until all your feelings and thoughts settle down and then see where you want to take it. Don't let anyone rush you into anything. :)

kitten_Val 05-19-2010 07:15 AM

Why wouldn't you just volunteer in one of the rescues or riding barns in area? In the rescue close to me you can "foster" a horse meaning you pay comparably small fee/month and horse is "yours" in terms of care and riding. This way you'll understand what "caring for the horse" means - it's not just riding, but lots of other things involved. And it'll help you understand if horse is something you indeed want or not.

Horses are LOTS of work (especially if you keep them home). Unfortunately too many new owners (including myself, BTW :wink: ) don't realize that until they get a horse, and all the sudden almost all free fun time is gone - you have to clean, ride, pick the poop, clean the stall, you name it. It's pretty different from taking lesson in barn once/week, when you just ride and give treats to the horse (well, in some you also have to brush/saddle).


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