To Those That Are Married and Keep Your Horses At Home.....
Do your husbands ride you constantly to ride your horses? Mine does and I can't ride ever **** day! I have other things to do. He thinks if he's paying to feed them, I better ride them as much as I can. But, you know what....some days I just don't feel like riding. What do I say to him without causing World War 3??
Tell him you love your horses but your family comes first. Which includes, cleaning the house, chores, children, yard work, groceries, dinner, etc.
mine doesnt' give me a hard time for not riding enough, he gives me a hard time for taking too many lessons and spending too much time in the barn... :(
No - for two reasons. First, he knows better than to ever get into some sort of pissing match over what "he pays for" (even during the time that I was a SAHM). Two, he really doesn't get a chance because DD and I are out there every chance we get - whether it's to ride or just to "play with the ponies".
Interesting, just this last weekend my dear hubby advised me to ride the horses first thing in the morning before I get too tired to do it. Before anyone thinks he's an a** , understand that I am going through chemo right now , so his point was a valid one. I took no offense , but told him that I would ride when I was up to it. Instead, I did some yard work and transplanting, so , yup, they were "pasture ponies" this last weekend! lol.
This has been a switch because I usually ride 4 to 6 days a week. I do have a good schedule that allows me to do this. Time is always a battle when you have many other things to take care of.
When I got the horses and brought them home, Don's biggest concern that I would let all the gardens go and everything else I do, like house work, baking/cooking ect... Well it's been 10 years and he's never complained because the place was let go.
I do pay for all my horse expenses, so that isn't an avenue he'll take with me. He knows how much I enjoy just watching them run in the pastures.
It's always an adjustment when you bring the horses home to live. Tell hubby to let you figure out when you're gonna ride and when you will do something else. I'm sure you're not dictating to him when or how much he should be doing something. Of course, a little sugar goes further and easier when having this chat then getting defensive and put out.
Good luck to you, I'm sure you and your husband will come to an understanding.
We have three horses at home, two are basically my hubbies, one is mine. However, I take care of all three of them 90% of the time. He never complains about riding, if I want to great, if I don't great. He will haul me anywhere I want to go if I don't want to haul myself. We do alot of trail riding during the summer/fall, so use all of them alot then.
I'm lucky, I also have my show dogs here at home and he doesn't complain about them or when I go to shows and leave him home to take care of the horses, cats, parrots.
My hub just complains I have too many of them.. I work so I pay their way.
That is a switch from the usual 'you spend too much time with the horses' complaint you hear about.
Mr. AB does sometimes say something about me not riding enough. Funny thing, now that he has his own to ride he understands how life gets in the way more often than we would like it to and with them being at home it is much easier to let that happen.
Sometimes my husband does bring up the why haven't you ridden in a while, but one of those horses is his. So I always tell him well your horse is looking too fat he could stand being ridden more often. In general we are both very busy people so we squeeze it in when we can. He was a little annoyed when I got the third horse but he got over it quickly. Lately our other projects have been getting in the way. Hopefully we can get a ride in this weekend.
My husband has learned that if he wants his hobbies (i.e. boat payment, golfing etc) then he had better not say one word about my horses. I honestly doubt he would care less if I rode them or not at this point..he thinks I spend way too much time with them, but he knows they are my de-stresser for the most part. And he says the only reason I re-married him (we divorced for a couple years) was so I could get my horses back..so I remind him that:) But our property would would be a waste without some kind of animals on it...and I feel more guilt than anyone about not always having time to ride..but some of the best days are the ones where I just go down and spend some "grooming time" with them. And without horses I would probably end up a couch potato watching too much TV...
Right now we are waiting on a saddle to even start riding my new boy. He was way too skinny when we first got him, and he had some rain rot I've been working on getting rid of. Since he turned out to be younger and more energetic than we thought he would be when he was given to us, we've been joking about how Ezra may end up being my husbands to ride.
But even if he ends up as a pasture puff, my husband knew going in that we were getting a horse, so I could have a horse, not just so I could ride. So I don't expect him to hassle me about not riding enough.
He did express a concern that I was spending too much time with the horse and not enough time washing dishes at one point, though :wink:.
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