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eventerwannabe 07-15-2010 02:37 AM

It's people like this that make me want to stop riding
 
I'm so done with today. It was a fine day, but tonight sucked. I swear everyone is out to get me. All of my riding friends all give me crap for things that I cannot control really. I SWEAR my only true riding friend that I can really trust is Aubre. She has been there for everything and has always been what a best friend really should be.

Anyways, I gave a "friend" a bridle in exchange for a lesson. So I asked her about it and she said "no offense, but you would have gotten more of a lesson if it hadn't taken you so long to find your courage"
"i figured it was better to let you work it out than to push you"

Okay, well her version of a lesson is "nice heels, they are way better than mine" and "Go to that up bank and jump it." All I have to say is... Way to epic fail at giving a "lesson."

So I sent her this:

"It's funny, because when you say "no offense" it is meant to offend. And you saw how he was acting and you couldn't even ride him. It was my first time going XC and I was on an insane horse. Whatever, keep the god **** bridle, it doesn't even matter."

So she replied:

"No, I was really trying not to offend you. I just don't know how to not say things bluntly. And he was not insane by the time you got on; he was going very nicely, which you know by how well he did when you did jump."

Really? I WATCHED him and RODE him while he was freaking out, it was really scary to watch. I am used him being "duh-duh-duuuuuh" horse at home, not spinning, freaking out horse. As Aubre put it, it was like taking a TB who loves racing off the track and then putting them back on it after 4 years of being away from it (just an example). Watching him was the scary thing for me. I watched him freak out, I saw what he could do with me, it scared me. It was my FIRST time XC and I thought I did alright, but obviously not.

Anyways, am I wrong here? I am already having a bad evening, so maybe I'm just being to touchy...

Alwaysbehind 07-15-2010 07:17 AM

What type of response were you expecting from the email you sent?

The tone of the email you sent was asking for the response you got.


I assume you knew what type of instructor this friend was before you agreed to the exchange?

AmberPick 07-15-2010 07:43 AM

Well your friend didn't really do much to help but at the same time you weren't really specific..

The next time you ask for help just say exactly what you're looking for - someone to be direct and honest and tell them what you are wanting help on. From the sound of the post you are probably in high school? So expecting to get along well with other high school girls is impossible!! Maybe next time ask someone who you don't know, they won't be afraid to say it like it is!

It's just girls not getting along, I think your email was kind of mean to her too, I can't see how she would have responded nicely to it.. Maybe I'm just not understanding the situation!!

Either way, she must not have too close of a friend so I wouldn't get too worked up about it!! :)

eventerwannabe 07-15-2010 12:51 PM

When we talked about it she made it sound like I was going to get a different lesson. And I got very defensive a quite rude, I'm aware. It pisses me off because she pretty much admitted that she wasn't able to give me a lesson. Anyways, I just sayed eff it to her and told her to forget the lesson.

It just made me mad because she KNOWS I have confidences issues and even though he was going really nicely once I was on, I was still really nervous because I saw what he COULD do. Anywho...

AmberPick 07-15-2010 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eventerwannabe (Post 691980)
When we talked about it she made it sound like I was going to get a different lesson. And I got very defensive a quite rude, I'm aware. It pisses me off because she pretty much admitted that she wasn't able to give me a lesson. Anyways, I just sayed eff it to her and told her to forget the lesson.

It just made me mad because she KNOWS I have confidences issues and even though he was going really nicely once I was on, I was still really nervous because I saw what he COULD do. Anywho...

Well I would be mad too, just remember that for the next situation. I'm one of those people as well that just assume people have good intentions or assume they mean the same thing as I do.. Still trying to get used to the fact that a lot of people really don't care much about helping others.. Don't worry though, there are also plenty of people who do you just have to wait and find them! :)

Zeke 07-15-2010 01:45 PM

Talking about having a really great lesson is one thing, but expecting it when you have hit a mental block with the horse is a little unreasonable.

As you've said you lost your confidence that day after seeing that the horse was in a spooky mood. This is totally understandable, and I give you points for getting on and conquering a little bit of your confidence issues. I have to agree with your friend here though. The best thing for you it sounds like is to build up plenty of confidence on this horse (or any horse?) before expecting being pushed into things you aren't comfortable with.

My other issue....why take lessons from someone who as you put it couldn't ride the horse in the state he was in? To me, someone who is giving me a lesson should at least have been through what the horse is doing and know exactly how to correct it. On top of that taking lessons from other young girls at a barn is not always a good idea. Yes, they may know their stuff or at least think they do but their are trainers and other knowledgeable adults you could get advice from and avoid this very situation.

I understand you were upset because the lesson didn't turn out as you expected but the message you sent her was an unneeded attack and I believe she handled her response well. She even complimented your jumping it seems. This is just me but I would apologize to her and tell her why you were so worked up.


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