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RogueMare 07-30-2010 11:15 PM

Serious Frustration Lies Ahead- Long
I'm so frustrated right now. I just found a sub-leaser for my apartment, bc I was looking at getting a two bedroom with a friend as a roommate, so I'm in between places, when I found this internship and have been talking to the Owner for about a week and a half now, so I put the new apt on hold.. which is good because I just got fired from work(looooooong story), and happen to be staying at my moms, whose now ticked because I'm probably going to be here longer than the planned couple of weeks... (at 3 weeks and counting now because things got complicated with one apartment complex.. had to find a new one to look at...) So now... with this internship I'm supposed to send the lady who decides if they even want me down there a video tomorrow of me riding both English and Western. But here's the kicker. I don't have a horse. I had one lined up, then the owner fell off the face of the earth... Then my friend came in with her Gorgeous morgan gelding who had a tear in his pastern, was on pasture rest, been doing great in rehab... who is lame again as of tonight... so, horse options... GONE.

Not to mention, (parents are divorced) My father is completely supportive of my decision to do an internship at this farm instead of collect student loan debt, and do something I really really want to do. But my mother on the other hand doesn't see how these people are benefiting from teaching me, and is convinced that "some crazy Cubans are going to kidnap you, and take you to Cuba to be a s** slave..." (her words not mine...) because, there is no stall cleaning or anything else involved.. but they pay for housing and such, all I have to pay is my food bill (and regular bills like cell phone, car payment etc.) Basically she thinks these people have to benefit majorly from this or its to good to be true.

I'm just way frustrated... Anyone want to make me feel better? Lol Maybe a way to explain to my mom this whole working student/internship deal-y? Or maybe point out where the "Crazy Cubans" are hiding in the scheme to kidnap me?

For reference its Valhalla Farms in Wellborn, Florida

corinowalk 07-30-2010 11:56 PM

I would explain to her that it is a very well established stable that needs help exercising the horses. If shes not a horse person, you might have to really talk about it in non horsey ways. Tell her its a trade off for an education. If there was one thing I learned talking my non horsey parents into letting me do horsey things is they like to see documents. Show her the tuition for a year at a horse-based college. Explain it to her as 'on the job training' without the cash money payment. Its all about how you word things.

As far as the horse one can lend you a horse for a few hours? Does it have to be any horse or a super well trained one? Call around. Im sure someone has something for you to ride!

RogueMare 07-31-2010 12:02 AM

I appreciate that, sometimes its hard to think in Non-horse terms. I just tell my dad, and he understands. Mom- its all about college, and money... .

yeah, I've called around. The thing is most people aren't willing to do it in a less than 24 hour notice. Which is what its come down to. I got the call at 8:30 the the Morgan Gelding was lame again. It doesn't have to be a well trained horse (The Morgans name is Hotshot- for good reason!) but I do need something that isn't going to try killing me. Lol! As great as it would be to show her I can be a rodeo star its not quite what she's looking for. haha!

corinowalk 07-31-2010 12:08 AM

Too bad you are two good sized states away! Im always trying to let people ride my gelding!

Do you have any 'pay to ride' stables around? Wonder if they could let you ride one of their trail horses english and western. Most of those places are only out to make a buck. If you dont have the cash...offer to clean some stalls and stack some hay!

RogueMare 07-31-2010 12:25 AM

Theres a couple, but most of them charge an arm and a leg for what they want to give you. Not to mention I don't get along with the biggest "pay as you go" barn around here because I didn't hesitate to stand up to her about a couple issues we had when I worked there... (long story! lol.. there are a lot of those lately)

I've got a solution you trailer and load him, I'll meet you in Ohio in the morning! haha. I think the biggest thing is my mother doesn't want me to be so far away when I venture out for this whole internship... She's kind of a control freak... -Anywho- I will try talking to her in the morning. She's such a high strung person sometimes I wonder if we're really related.... I swear she almost had a coronary over a dirty plate in the sink this morning...

So, to work on this 'talk' her and I are going to have.. This barn, I would be living in a three bedroom house with two other interns. Valhalla pays all bills but food, car payment/insurance, and phone bill. But, I don't have to clean stalls- they have a staff for that. She doesn't see how my being a student at their farm is going to benefit them enough to pay for all this housing, and teaching and stuff. Another thing is, she doesn't even remotely relate this to college. In fact, she's refusing to pay my car insurance (that was agreed she'd pay as long as I was in college) because I'm not getting a 'real' education. AND- she says there is no way I could make a living breeding/training/showing/riding dressage horses.

corinowalk 07-31-2010 12:42 AM

Well, from a moms point of view I can tell you that it is hard to let a child move on. We always want to see you as our babies. Every time my husband gets upset about his mom 'nosing' into his life...I remind him that she remembers what his dirty diapers smell like...were just a different breed. That being said, her being non-horsey makes things difficult.

Since you are going to be an intern/working student I would explain it this way. The horses that you will be riding will be students ALSO. The trainer can only ride one horse at a time. Its easier for them to crank out winners if they have good, competent riders (such as yourself) working under said trainers. You learn how to train and the horse is being trained by you and the trainer TOGETHER. Everyone benefits and no one loses. Explain to her that hiring less qualified trainers with ideas of their own doesnt benefit the stable. Im sure they have their own training method and if they are successful enough to be bringing on working students, it must be a good one. It is cheaper for them in the long run to pay for housing (which probably doesnt cost them much as I would imagine it is on the stable property) than it would be to pay x amount of trainers x amount of dollars for a various training styles. Your pay back is the same as being in college. You get to put them down as a reference and possibly get hired on after your internship.

In college, you would have a teacher standing in class teaching 30 people one concept. At the end of the day, you would have to pass tests and get graded. You will see this in your internship also. If you arent working out, you will hear about it and you wont stay long. The difference is you will be getting hands on education in a field where a degree helps but experience can really sway employers.

Instead of a diploma, you are working for a good reference. The difference is, you wont have all those pesky student loans at the end. Making money riding and caring for horses can be difficult and is usually left for those who are very talented riders. Explain that you feel that you have a natural talent for this and that this opportunity will just help you bring your talent to the next level.

As far as the car insurance goes, tell your mom that if you cant pay your car insurance, you will have to leave your car at home. You will catch rides to the grocery and you will probably be too busy riding to do that. Without a car, you wont be able to come home to visit. Its not nice to manipulate but...sometimes parents just need the motivation to help you chase dreams.

My own mom let me persue something similar to what you are doing allllll the way in California. I had a blast. After a year, I came home because my internship was done and my mom was sick. She never really wanted me to go but after she saw that it did make me happy, she was glad to help. Believe me, she wants you to succeed. Shes just not her!

Good luck with everything! If its meant to be, that morgan will show up magically sound tomorrow and you can get your ride in. If not, you will find a way.

RogueMare 07-31-2010 12:47 AM

Are you by chance looking to adopt? Lol. Thank-you so much. I think this will honestly help her understand a LOT. Bed time now, I'll let ya know how it goes in the morning. :)

Thanks again!

RogueMare 07-31-2010 09:33 AM

Well.... I sat down this morning to talk to her and explain it and now she's convinced I'm not trying to convince her, but I'm trying to convince myself. When the truth be told, my mother has not supported me in anything I've done so far with my life other than collect student loan debt. For once, I want to move back out of her house here in Michigan, and go to Florida on speaking terms with her. I've never made a move this far, and I've never moved out of her house without us being in a huge fight and if I get the internship I'm going to be a long ways away.

So now the end result is she's determined I'm ruining my life. I'm still living here, and we're not on speaking terms. I'm unemployed, but I have to pay her rent or get out. I just got fired... two days ago? Rent wasn't even in the picture until today. *Sigh*

corinowalk 07-31-2010 11:00 AM

I know its a frustrating situation...*hugs* While you relationship with your mother is a very important one, everyone needs to chase dreams. How soon are you to start your internship? Could you tell her you plan on being out by a certain date and that you intend to pay her rent when you have money?

RogueMare 07-31-2010 12:11 PM

If I get the internship I would be leaving in the third week of August. I can't promise her any money right now, I don't have any income. And she's SOOOO money oriented. And, when I moved back in I was only supposed to be here for maybe a week or two, but things have been happening like crazy with this possible internship, losing my job, and being back at home after almost 3 years being on my own.

Sadly I told her that if she can't support me emotionally in what I want to do with my life, that I don't want her in mine. I know its harsh, but I feel like she has been doing nothing but trying to force me into something I don't want. And if it were the case of me just doing what made her happy, I'd never be happy with MY life. I haven't gotten the internship yet, and I don't want her telling me I can't do it to be my biggest driving force, but it sort of is. I want to want to do it because I want to.... Does that make sense? lol

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