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Abby 02-24-2008 07:18 PM

Why cant I do this alone?
I feel COMPLETELY unsafe being with my horse in an arena, on the trail or in the pasture without my mom there, well not just my mom I mean without anyone there. I just CAN'T do it alone. I am afraid to work my horse without her there and I have no idea why. At my old barn I used to ride with my horse all by myself all day long, I actually hated sharing the barn with others. However since we switched barns every time I'm alone with my horse I'm uncomfortable and I don't want to ride, and I don't feel comfortable enough to do it. Nothing bad has happened at all, and every time we ride they are fine rides but I feel like I need someone watching in order to be safe and I never needed this before and I have no idea what triggered it. it stinks, I refuse to go out and see him without company and it is hindering on my time with him but I can't stomach over the feeling I have when there is no one there to help me in case something goes wrong. At the old barn the situation was the same, the BM was just up the hill and only a shout away with someone always home that could help but ah I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else feel like this? If so, how did you deal with it? How SHOULD I deal with this? What can I do to help myself? :oops:

BluMagic 02-24-2008 08:04 PM

You are a very dependant person. But that's not a bad thing. I felt the same way for a long time. I don't like working with Blu alone because I just like having someone to ride with. All I can suggest is more bonding time like with grooming and such. It's sort of are afraid without being afraid. Hope this helps...

Abby 02-24-2008 08:41 PM

It is exactly that. I don't feel directly afraid of my horse, or riding or anything I just feel afraid of doing those alone with my horse. I trust my horse, I hop on him with absolutely nothing but us, and grab hold of his mane and take off into his pasture and let him run me all over the pasture and play in the snow but I like to have someone there otherwise I am just way to dang afraid to do that or ride with a saddle or anything! As long as she is watching us or riding with is or walking with us I don't care as long as someone is there and can see me I'm okay.

I don't like to ride alone because I'm scared, why and what can I do to not be so scared? I want to spend more time with him because I have oodles of it but I work afternoons and my mom works mornings so I can only see him on her or my days off and the weekends. :| I want to see him more than that but I physically feel sick with fear when I'm alone. It is bizarre.

Brandon 02-24-2008 08:50 PM

hm.. are you affraid of gettin hurt or somethin bad happenin.. i dunno... maybe its an assurance thing where as long as someone is watchin and even from a distance aslong as you know someone is there you are like king of the pasture... :wink:

not sure but dont stress about it partner, this is probly just a speed bump for you.. just try to build confidence to not stress when someones not there watchin you.

hope this helps,

Equina 02-24-2008 10:21 PM

Man, this is a toughie!

Is it only when you are mounted that you feel this way? If you're grooming or doing groundwork, are you okay?

Would carrying a cell phone (in case of emergency) while you ride help?

Abby 02-24-2008 10:50 PM

If I'm in he barn grooming I'm okay but if climb on or do any ground work or anything I feel uncomfy. I would say I'm like a barn sour human except the fact that I don't feel comfortable riding in the barn either but I feel even MORE uncomfortable working with him outside the barn such in the pasture or indoor or outdoor arenas. I feel it more when I"m mounted than on the ground, and more when saddled than bareback, which is strange in itself as most people are the opposite.

My horse can spook, as any can, but he tends to spook a little more when we are in the arena or away from the barn/pasture area and I think I'm afraid I'll fall off and something bad will happen like I break my leg or get stepped on and because the Arena/Pasture is so large I won't be able to keep my horse from hurting himself i.e. stepping on the reins, falling and rolling with a saddle on etc, if I'm injured and without help since the house is quite far from the indoor and outdoor arenas. It is strange because I knew this risk upon buying a horse to begin with but suddenly they are surfacing since I moved to a larger barn facility. Not to mention my BM is like 60 or 70 now so her old age makes me feel a little uneasy too.

edit- you know the cellphone would be a good idea, so that way If I started feeling nervous or alone I could dial up a friend and chit chat on speaker while I ride or something to reassure myself. I'm not usually a scardy pants about being alone, its almost embarrassing.

Brandon 02-24-2008 10:57 PM

Well just remember you can stop everythin, i know its hard but your horse could hurt himself at any time.. I think you are now really feelin and seein the risk of somethin bad happenin, but everyone takes a chance like that everyday.. i mean for example tomorrow while i am drivin to school i can get into a wreck and be hurt, or hell i could be at home and slip and break my leg and not be able to crawl to get to the phone... i mean anythin can happen at any time, i think if you gotta cell phone and the number to anyone that could provide aid instantly then you should be ok.. and its wise to tell people when and where you are about to do somethin..

For example:
- if you are gonna go ride out in the pasture, just kinda let your mom know or somethin that you will be out there and just say i should be back at so and so time and if i am not then come check up on me...or call me

Just an idea, but you just gotta get some ideas that would make yourself feel better.. Cell phone, first aid kit, etc..

BluMagic 02-24-2008 11:20 PM

Just thought I'd say this. It always makes me feel better and maybe it will help you. Just a thought... :lol:


Originally Posted by BluMagic


Abby 02-25-2008 11:50 AM

Hehe thanks Blu. xD! :lol:

Abby 02-27-2008 01:01 PM

I started carrying a cellphone and its like magic, I have found my peace of mind. Thanks guys, its much appreciate.d

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