I need social help, my horse 'embarrassed' me
This might not be the place...but, yesterday at Pony Club, my horse kicked up at a little 3 year old girl on her horse, with her mother standing beside here, and I have been shamed. I got yelled at for not telling him off good enough, as I tapped him with the crop and 'groweled' at him, but the instructor got mad. She got over it of course, because when I did a rider class thing, she said i was going good and complimenting and everything, and when I got back to the group, I felt embarassed, because of my horse and me. I felt hopeless, and have lost confidence now with going out riding with others. I said sorry to the girl and her mum, and they were fin and accepting, but i still feel horrible.
I dont know what kind of answer Im looking for, but some advice would be great...?
ok.....how exactly did your horse kick up? do you mean spook, rear, buck, bite?
But let me ask you this....has your horse ever given the farrier a wedgie as he was doing her front feet? has your horse ever slammed the brakes on in the middle of the road, held up traffic all over a kitteh? have you ever turned up to pony club in dirty jeans with an unclipped horse and mismatched tack?
get used to the fact that having horses is preparing us for when we have kids, yes we love them but heavens above sometimes you just want to hide from them......
wad the little girl standing really close to you?
Maybe the pony was putting its ears back and going to bite or something and your horse just took it one step futher?
It's all a learning process! Please don't be so hard on yourself. I know you were embarrassed and I understand, but it's hard to do exactly the right thing in every situation, especially when you are surprised by something. The best thing to do is realize that something went wrong. Try to learn from it. Learn what to do to prevent a next time, but then learn what to do in case of a next time. Your instructor was likely scared by the incident...I mean nobody wants to see a 3 year old get hurt, and maybe she didn't handle it as kindly as she could have. But just don't get discouraged and learn. Learn learn learn. That's all we can do...and the attitude of learning from our mistakes will take us far in life!
Had the same type of thing happen to me.
I had a horse attempt to kick a mule twice and buck me three separate times on a single trail ride. There were 15 people on this ride, most of them had been riding over 50 years, 2 were respected trainers. I was sooo embarassed that I couldn't "control" my horse I was crying (and that would be why the horse acted up). I was sooo ashamed I had made a fool of my self in front of all these great horsemen/horsewomen.Towards the end of the ride, it got better, but looking back at that ride I realized two things:
1. Every rider has been in your situation at one point or another. They all start at the beginning, regadless how talented a horsemen they are now.
2. Horses are horses. No matter how much training or patience we have with them, they will always have their herd instincts. If that means they think they need to kick another horse, don't put it past that horse to do so. The only thing we can do is try to distract the horse before they try to kick/rear/bite, or disipline the horse if they did so.
Everyone involved in the horse industry should be prepared for things like this to happen. The mother and her child should know that too, as should your instructor. I'm not saying that a three year old who gets kicked should just shake it off and say "Oh well," but I am saying they shouldn't throw a hissy fit on you about it. I wouldn't be embarrased either, worse things could have happened.
My question back is what did your instructor or the mom of the child walking behind you expect you to do? Did they want you to beat him into a corner? Not feed him for a week? Tie his back legs together?
You did the right thing. You gave him a smack and moved on. The mom shouldn't have been walking that close to your hindquarters. From now on, tie a red ribbon in his tail and call it a day. If he has kicked before, better to be safe than sorry.
It stinks that you feel embarrased. Horses have a great way of humiliating us!
souds like you done all you could horses have a mine all their own i wouldn't worry to much about it.It happens to everone thats has ever rode much.
I don't think this was solely your fault...the fault mostly, imo, lays on the trainer who didn't keep horses and riders, and especially other humans on foot AWAY from the tail ends of other horses. Plain and simple.
I don't care HOW well behaved a horse is, as someone mentioned, they are still a herd animal, and they are also still a fight or flight animal; if another horse is tail gaiting another, they may get agitated by it...does it mean he should kick at the other horse? No, not necassarily, but that doesn't mean he won't. There are actions that can be taken to prevent a kick, so you can still ride in relative close vicinity, but I think the 'best' way to prevent such behavior is not riding nose to tail; especially in a riding lesson scene.
Not enough information to help very much: Why do you think pony kicked? (was it at girl's horse, or girl, or mom?) Was his kicking due to an invasion of his personal space, by girl on pony and/or mom? (if so, they're at fault far more than you & your pony). Did he give warning by ear-pinning, turning his head to look threateningly behind him? (horses do give warnings, so it'd be very odd if he gave none).
I feel that you need to analyze the reasons things happened as they did in the incident, so that you'll be prepared to deal with a similar scenario effectively should one happen again.
One general rule, added to a red ribbon in the tail, is to keep pony's hiney to the outer edge of any gathering.
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