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starlinestables 09-17-2010 12:52 AM

Should I say something to this boarder?
I am a very honest and straight forward person in general. I'm not big on talking about people behind their backs.. If I can't say it to their face it's not worth saying. So this is KILLING me! :oP

About a month ago, I had a lady come visit my facility and put a deposit down to hold 2 boarding spots. I always ask where they are coming from and why they are moving. Some people answer, some don't but I'd like to know.

I send out an email newsletter every month with what's going on at the barn.. construction, rule changes, cool tid-bits of information.. when the shows people did.. and I also introduce new boarders.

For Septembers newsletter.. I welcomed this lady and her 2 horses and said "Susie will be joining us from XOX Stables in October, but with the way things are going at XOX it may be sooner." I look back at this and regret it but it was meant to imply that no place is perfect. In that same newsletter I was also giving boarders notice that we are increasing our rates $25 (because we are adding new amenities). I also took away the farrier credit if people used their own farrier. (I included farrier in board, or gave a $15 a month discount if they used their own but it was becoming a pain so I just took the discount a away). A small group of boarders were a little POed that they have to pay for their own farrier heaven forbid. I'm the only barn in the area that includes it! but thats a different gripe...

To the point!! The reason the lady left the other barn was because the barn owners were running everyone off, and their boarders were leaving in droves. My new boarder explained that when other boarders gave their notice at XOX Stable, the barn owners would make their lives hell and run them off. XOX was having the vet out to do their whole farm's vaccinations but told my new boarder that she wasn't going to allow the vet to vaccinate her two horses. When my new boarder confronted her.. the barn owner showed her a print out of MY newsletter. Apparently someone at MY barn forwarded MY newsletter the the barn owner at XOX and the barn owner at XOX refused to take care of their horses and wouldn't tell my new boarder who sent the email.

My new boarder's friend found out which one of my boarders forwarded the email and I'm not happy that they would stir the pot like that! They cost my new boarder (who is the nicest lady!) $1300 in board for the month of September! The boarder to stirred the pot, I hardly know and have never pissed off these people... in fact, they paid a deposit to hold their boarding spot and didn't come for 6 months and I still let them in!

I want to say something soooo bad but don't know if I should. I'm not really mad, but just ashamed of them. I'm not looking to start a fight or piss people off but I hate people getting away with that sort of thing!

Citrus 09-17-2010 01:18 AM

What would you say?

Amir 09-17-2010 02:21 AM

The way I see it, if you say something the only thing you could really say is "why did you forward the newsletter to XOX??" and then they can just deny it ever happening. It's going to be their word against yours for proving they even did anything in the first place.
It would be kinda pointless because then they could end up going around starting more crap saying you abused them for no reason or something of the like.
People are stupid. Then there are also stupid people who just love to start drama. And I know plenty of people like that...

starlinestables 09-17-2010 02:51 AM

That reminds me.. my new boarders were trying to get another lady that was moving out of XOX to move to my barn but would've because of something that the bad boarder said about my place. Which is really odd because we havn't had any issues with the bad boarder. The only thing I can think of is that their pasture boarded horse is covered in boo boo's because his horse has worked hard to be top ranking in the heard..My mare is the devil to beat and he did but she got in a few good licks of her own. A new horse always gets a few little scrapes and I warn everyone before they do pasture boarder and they didn't seem to care.

Most of all I just want to know why.. I would never kick them out just because they did that.. I'm not like XOX stables.. They paid me on time and I fully intend to provide the services they paid me for.

WickedNag 09-17-2010 07:29 AM

Hmm so as I am also straight forward the boarder didn't really cause the problem but you did. The boarder forwarded something that you said in type "behind someone's back" If you didn't want to stand behind what you said in print it should never have been typed imo.

I think you can see where I am coming from but it was no different in an email than it would have been if you were having a meeting at the barn and someone went and told her.

I think in this case you need to realize who really cost the boarder so much in Sept and it wasn't the boarder. JMHO!

Alwaysbehind 09-17-2010 07:50 AM

Let this be an important lesson in life. Do not put in print things you do not want someone else to read.

You were wrong, as you seem to know now. Was the boarder who sent along the email wrong too? Sure, some what. But heck, maybe she is friends with XOX and did not like seeing her friend bad mouthed. Maybe there was an unrelated tid bit in your news letter (you say you include little fact tid bits, etc) that she was sharing with her friend. Or maybe she just thought it was wrong of you to put that there.

Bottom line, you were wrong. Do not get your panties bunched because some one pointed out that you were wrong.

You probably should not post the new boarders in your news letter until they have already left the old place.

Shenandoah 09-17-2010 07:53 AM


Originally Posted by starlinestables (Post 751686)
because of something that the bad boarder said about my place.

I'm not a BO, but I think this would be more concerning than a forwarded newsletter.
Is there maybe a way you could approach this boarder and say something like: I'm doing a general survey of my boarders (ask the same to other boarders in case she asks around) and was just wondering how you are enjoying it here, if you have any suggestions for things that could be improved, etc? See if you can get her talking about what problems she has. At least then you'll know where she's coming from, and can maybe address the issue. Clearly the forwarding of the newsletter is just a symptom of a bigger problem, if she's also saying bad things about your place.

WickedNag 09-17-2010 08:48 AM


Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind (Post 751739)
Let this be an important lesson in life. Do not put in print things you do not want someone else to read.

But if the op is as she states she doesn't talk behind people's back than IMO has not problem standing behind what she put in writing.

I stand behind what I say and if I am wrong I am willing to stand behind that too.

so just as you stated, don't get your panties in a wad...just move forward and let it go at that. A better way to have worded the newsletter would have read
We would like to Welcome Border A who will be joining us from Barn XOX in October, maybe sooner. And than if Boarder A wanted to disclose why she was leaving to other borders it would have been on her and she would be answering to the accusations.

Lesson learned, sometimes they are a bitter pill to swallow but from that all we can ever do is move forward.

mls 09-17-2010 09:25 AM

How is this person a bad boarder if - until now - they have never done anything to be present on your radar?

I don't tell existing boarders where new boarders are coming from - or why. Not my business to tell.

Alwaysbehind 09-17-2010 09:28 AM


Originally Posted by WickedNag (Post 751771)
But if the op is as she states she doesn't talk behind people's back than IMO has not problem standing behind what she put in writing.

The OP talks about her boarders very frequently on this BB. :wink: Does that not count as talking about them behind their backs?


Originally Posted by mls
I don't tell existing boarders where new boarders are coming from - or why. Not my business to tell.

I totally agree. TOTALLY!

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