I Feel I Should Move Him (novel~seriously~)
Okay grab your popcorn this is a long one~sigh~
OKay so some of you might remember a thread I had back in March about problems(EEk not bringing it up) but in April after that I started paying them $250 a month (since I hadn't paid anything before and finances were a lot better.) So i pay for worming, vet, dentist, farrier, his feed, and the board which is no problem(and it makes me feel better)and i clean up the barn and fields for them a few times a week because her husband is getting older and I felt he needed a few breaks every couple of days.....the only reason I bring this up is because I want people to know I AM paying for everything now so people don't think i'm freeloading.
Ok so backstory I have been at this barn for about 5 yrs now and they gave me my horse Phantom(he's not my first though) they said I could keep him at their house for free which i felt bad about and now I am happy I can pay I even give them extra here and there when I can just to say thanks.
Well anyway I feel like I should move Phantom the reason being....I feel like my friend doesn't want me around anymore she's kind of pushing me out. She is still talking about me behind my back...not good things. And she is kind of pushing me away and snapping at me a lot. I don't know what could have caused this because we sat down months ago( the middle to end of march) and settled our differences and we came to a mutal understanding and then everything was fun and fine, we even grew a bit closer. recently I found out she's been lying to me about a lot of things such as feeding him the feed i've been buying him(i buy it since its different then waht the other horses eat)....I went over during feeding and her husband gave me Phantom's scoop and it was their pellets not what i bought him and he was giving the other horses Phantom's stuff....I asked him about it and he said "Well M(his wife) said he didn't need it and to give it to the other horses." the other horses are fat and healthy while Phantom is thin needing this type of feed. Also I told her i was gonna buy phantom a good strong blanket for the winter because he's not gaining weight(because he's not getting HIS feed)and he has no fat to protect him she told me he's fine with his coat. He gets a good winter coat but when he gets wet that does nothing because he has no fat also he's no spring chicken he's about 23 or so so I felt he needed a blanket...is this a wrong assumption? Their younger horses get blanketed and brought in when the weather is bad but Phantom stays outside which i always thought was weird but never questioned it...I was gonna be buying the blanket so it's not like I was asking her to buy it for me. Also when I ask her questions about something now like "Should I do this or that?" or "do you want me to birng your horse in for you?" she snaps at me and then walks away....like Phantom got kicked a few times in the trailer and his legs were bleeding pretty bad and he was limping....she told me to let him walk it off and turn him out then she left me alone in the barn trying to figure out what to do first basically i ended up hosing his legs and looking more closely at the cuts some were deepish but not bad bad then i put antibiotic on them and turned him out he was still limping i guess they stung but i felt horrible ~sigh~ I wish she had helped me a bit I rarely have problems with phantom getting hurt. Also she punched phantom in his neck. I had him tied in the barn and she had her horse tied next to him(about a horse length away) as i walked to the tack room Phantom shifted his weight to watch me and as I was coming back he shifted a tad more just watching me not doing anything wrong she flipped and yelled at him then walked over and punched him in the side of his neck well he jumped a little becuase he wasn't expecting anything and she smacked him again for jumping. I was speechless he hadn't done anything wrong and she hit him in front of me no less. I didnt know what to say so i kinda just stayed quiet. I'm also fearing that she is going against what she believes. she says animal abuse is bad but i feel she abuses her animals. She had a cat and apparently it got sick..it was acting like it was something neurological her head was shaking and she looked stoned....she put it in a carrier and left it in the living room, then she found out people were coming over and she moved the cat outside and left it there to die I asked her if she was going to have the vet see it or at least put it to sleep and she said the cat wasn't worth it...she left the cat out in the cold to freeze to death. they have other indoor animals so i wouldve thought she would at least want to see if it was contagious. Also their 35 yr old horse just sits in her field all the time but M wanted to take her to a pony party....she brought the horse in (this horse is never messed with...they never do anything with her) and mind you she is thin(due to age) well M tried lifting her hoof and the horse just kept her foot on the ground...M got mad and pounded her in the ribs and yelled at her...M's daughter started freaking out on her for it saying that the horse doesn't understand...M said she would make her understand...that poor horse is old and blind and should be in retirement I even offered for Phantom to go to the pony party instead but she said no cause it would tire him out too quickly...he's a heck of a lot younger than the other horse. Also she tried training a horse recently and she made him stand in the barn on a leadline (the barn has concrete floors keep in mind) she told him to stand and he did but then he shifted his weight after a few mins and she started yanking(pulling up and down really fast and hard) on the leadline and yelling at him...he took a step backwards and she kit him in the head(he's headshy) and he spazzed and slipped on the floor and the whole time he's trying to gain his feet again she's yelling at him and yanking on the leadline. I don't think that's training. And she just yells at and hits the animals for what seems like no reason at all...their dog sits under the trailer at shows and if he barks she grabs the leash and yanks him out from under it and yells in his face.
Also we were watching reining on TV and I mentioned that I wanted to get into it in the near future. she looked at me and said "Reining is stupid and useless anyone can lope around in a circle." that kind of hurt my feelings a bit but I still plan on getting into reining once i find a trainer.
Also whenever she does talk to me she's gossiping and lying about her other "friends" she told me the saddle im using on her one friends horse was hers....i asked this friend if that was true and he was like no way and showed me the receipt from when he bought it. I really don't enjoy listening to her gossip but i just smile and nod even if i don't agree....all of her "friends" tell me the only reason why i am hearing all the gossip is because everyone else is tired of listening to her. She also doesn;t like when i hang out with other horsey friends...I went over my one friends house for her birthday and when i told her about it she freaked and was like "why would you go over there. theres no reason for you to be over there.".....there's been a lot more stuff going on too but I will only add if asked because this is already really long.
My friends(the people who own the brown horse ive been riding) are also her friends and they just got an openning at their place and offered it to me because they see what I'm going through. And they will have Phantom on the feed he needs( that i buy) and also blanket him for me this winter(i buy the blanket of course) Everything for the same amount im paying now. I definately don't want to pass it up they have grass(where he is now he doesn't), a round pen, a racetrack, a riding field, they bring the horses in the barn during bad weather, and they blanket all there old guys. Also they don't hit their animals unless they do something dangerous and even then it's an open palm not a fist....their animals live in heaven basically they get everything they need and then some. I have been talking to them about it for a while and I feel like it is definately a good choice to move Phantom there...ive been riding there a few times too and they dont yell at me for loping my horse if i lope phantom where we are now she yells and says all i want to do is run run run...I will remain friends with M if she wants. I know her husband would have no problem with it because i talked to him and their daughter about it...they think it's a good idea(they've been having trouble with her lately too...it's saddens me to say that her husband took off his wedding ring and threw it away that's how upset she is making him:cry: he explained everything to me one day). My only problem is M. I will obviously give her a few weeks notice because i feel it would be rude not to......I just want to get away from the stress and everything I'm seeing because it's getting harder to keep my mouth shut as I see what goes on with the animals. It's like she changed so much in a short period of time and i can't figure out why. when im around her it's like walking on eggshells.:?
So I think I am definately going to take my friends up on the offer but I don't want any bad blood between me and M or M and them. Plus she has told me multiple times that i can move him but still.
Do you think it is a good idea that I move him?
If you need to know anything else just ask me i feel like my post is already too long so like I said if you need to know anything else just ask me.
I don't really post alot on here but I definately think you should move him. Sounds like the other place would be a better fit for both of you. I realize you have to give a couple weeks warning but you might want to consider moving him right away. As in, you would still pay her for a couple weeks but move him now. If she is acting this way it will only get worse once she knows your leaving and she might take it out on your horse. It might cost you a bit more but would probably be a good idea. Plus your horse would be getting better care right away.
I remember you were having issues with them before. It is a 100% GREAT idea to move him. I think you should do it ASAP.
This woman sounds difficult to get along with at best, and dishonest and a bit crazy at worst. I don't think she can be trusted with your horse.
I wouldn't worry too much about what her thoughts are on you moving. She's going to be pissy no matter what you tell her. Unless you have it in your contract that you are required to give notice, I wouldn't even give more than a day's notice. She sounds like she would try to prevent you from taking your horse.
If it would soften the blow, tell her that the place you're moving to is much more convienent to your home, and that they only have the trailer available today, so you're moving him today. I wouldn't tell her where you're moving to though. Keep that on a need-to-know basis.
Edit: Do pay for the full month's board, and if needed fulfill your work for board obligations. But get the horse out of there ASAP.
I plan on paying a full 2 months for after I move him just becuase i want to make up for the passed couple of years even though I know it will never add up. But i am so happy i am able to pay even though they said i didn't have to it just makes me feel better.
Also when i move him he is going to my friends house who is also her friend that's one of the other issues...she knows where they live....and she knows their work schedules.... but they have seen what she's been doing with me and they are thinking twice about being friends with her now.
she bought a horse from them not to long ago and complains about how slow he is....she knew what he was like for the couple years they had him what makes her think he's gonna be different cause he's at her house....hes QH/Draft cross he's not built for speed though he tries and she's got this ten yr old girl on him whipping him multiple times to make him run faster then they get mad when he doesnt go faster. When i first started riding with them her saying was "Control first speed later" but since this new little girl has come around all she wants to do is run run run and the control went out the window she's constantly running him into barrels and poles and all M keeps saying is get him get him push push push whip him!
....i feel like her personality has done a 360 and like i said before we had a sit down about what happened in march and talked everything out then everything was fine for a while....but then it got worse than it was before.
My main thing is I don't want there to be bad blood between my friends(also her friends) and her or me and her....She's told me to move him before but i feel like it's one of those things people say when you know they don't want you to do it so they'll see if you do it anyway. I respect them completely but i don't know. Her husband somewhat knows my plan(he knows i want to move him but i havent told him where eyt) and agrees with it. I just don's want there to be bad blood between anyone. :/
I wouldn't worry all that much between bad blood, just move and see what happens, thats all you can really do.
I would maybe give you current BO about a weeks notice, tops. She sounds like she is getting more violent/irrational in her behavior; and I wouldn't risk putting your horse in her line of fire.
Like you said, I would try to be as polite as possible about the situation. You don't know if you may have to work with her in the future; and leaving on bad terms is never a good idea.
Good luck with your quest!
Move the horse. It doesn't sound like a safe or sane situation for either of you. Not feeding your horse the feed you bought? Unacceptable. Who cares if there is bad blood? What matters is that your horse is getting the care he needs. You even said that you don't really want to be friends with her anymore.
Be polite about the situation and say that the new place is more convenient etc like the other poster said. Again, don't share the location you plan to be moving to. I would only pay 1 month full board after you move on short notice, but that's just me. It makes sense why you want to pay for 2, but honestly, it's not really your concern to pay for two. Yet again, I'm kind of cheap lol
I read the first few Pgraphs and I said Move him you buy his feed and wanting a blanket and he is not getting them so move him.... When you get a horse no matter what horse and when you buy the feed and your horse is not getting what you buy to feed him thats a sing of taking advantage of... I am very greatful my own pony I had gotten for my boys was in the best of hands when I moved her and her paster mate mini stallion the lady was the bets even when I had to put her down she was old and floundered on me and as well broke her leg bad... MOVE that horse... it really don't cost much to hire a mover .. it cost to move my mini $ 50.00 to move him 75 miles.... So move her tell the mover what is going on and find a good place first .... MOVE that Horse! I would not even give a few weeks notice...... even if you have to ride out on your horse and never come/look back..
move the horse. it sounds like she's getting more violent. don't give her that much notice a week tops, but leave on a good note, hope it works out for you =)
Move the horse. Period. And monitor any other signs of animal cruelty. Leaving a cat out in a kennel to freeze to death would have been a call to the SPCA from me, immediately. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Maybe she should be left to freeze to death the next time she gets sick. If she is getting that violent with all of her animals, maybe you can set up a camera or something to gain proof? Anyway, get your horse out of there, who cares about her feelings, and make sure that you aren't leaving other animals to a painful cruel fate.
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