Once a friend now an angel
After just reading a sad story I felt like posting mine. My beloved horse Gus, my avatar, had to be put down 9/11/10. He was going blind, deaf, he was foundering in his front feet, he had major arthritis in his stifles from an old barrel racing accident, I know for a fact now he had a disease called cushings (growing hair continuously), and right before we put him down I noticed a lump on his back, and it is very possible he had cancer. It got so bad whre he couldn't walk, to get anywhere he had to leap and stumble, to turn it was worse hae had to sit on his haunches and swing around and jump. I actually ended up donating him to Out of Africa and I...I just couldn't stand it, after everything me and that horse went thru...it felt like I was betraying him. Turning away from him that morning was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It is still so weird to not see or hear him. If anyone wants to see him you can in his profile
Thank you for letting me shed some tears
You did the right thing - it was time. I know it was hard to do, but he's waiting for you across the rainbow bridge. There's he happy, pain free and able to run with the wind.
I know what you mean about it being weird not seeing him every day. I still expect DJ to come running to the gate...:cry:
I'm very sorry for the loss of your old guy, but it definitely sounds as if it was time to give him peace and the cessation of pain.
What is Out Of Africa, BTW?
If it is the one I know of, it is a wildlife park in Arizona..... I am guessing donating Gus means his remains were used to feed the lions and such?
ya pretty much. ALl I could think about was his beautiful flea-bitten grey coat bloody and once his carcas was out, the rest of his body being thrown away D'X
what made you donate gus, out of curiousity?
Well I couldn't stand to see him suffer, and...as much as I hate to admitt it. Instead of putting him down and throwing the body away......It could feed another living thing. Gus could hardly keep his head up...let alone his body and the tumor it was too much for me! I couldn't see his suffer and it was almost rather funny after I got home i went on my laptop to take my mind off (try to anyway) but I just did everything machanially and it was about 10:20 when I suddenly stopped crying. Thing is, I didn't want to stop I wanted to cry forever, but I couldn't and I felt a wave of relief...and something told me he was ok now Of course I still bawl, but I bawl with relief and sadness
It was weird just the other day it felt like I was ridinghim and I don't know how!
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my dog, as I had to put him to sleep. And there is nothing that helps really other than knowing I did right by him, as you did by your horse and called it when it needed to be called.
Every single morning I put my hand down to behind my knee where he should be sleeping, and every single morning it is a sharp reminder that he is not there anymore. It is really hard, really raw emotionally hard.
The only comfort for me at least, is doing right by the animal and not making them suffer.
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