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How do you know when to STOP looking?

3K views 20 replies 12 participants last post by  faye 
#1 ·
I've looked at a lot of horses in the last 1/3 of a year (sounds better than saying 4 months. :lol:).
I made an offer on a mare just before christmas. It was rockbottom, and in this economy, I think it was still a hair on the low side, but equivalant to the mare's worth, and reflected the finances it will take me to transport the horse, get a coggins, etc.
It was soundly rejected (no big shock), and she countered with $1000. (she was asking 1500, I offered 675, she countered.) I thanked her but declined.
Well..this week I heard back from the lady. And she needs the money and is willing to take 675 for her now. Im over the moon..but at the same time, why cant i commit?
This tiny, evil voice in the back of my head whispers, "Something better will come along as soon as you commit...the perfect horse will be next door and then you'll be sorry. so sorry."
For example, someone sent me an email tonight a a reply to my craigslist ad--they live 45 mintues from me, and have a 6 year old QH mare that's supposedly broke that they'll sell for 500.
So that voice says "SEE! AHA! KEEP WAITING! OR YOU'LL BE SORRY!" And I think to myself, but I don't even WANT a QH. So why am I deliberating with myself over something so stupid?
My question, how do you know when to STOP looking? How do you know when it's good enough and you should be HAPPY because the horse is EVERYTHING YOU WANT (and seriously, she is. She's 12--not too hyper--sensible--for an arab--tri color paint--raised at high altitude--bask bred and registered--not a midget--finished trail horse) :-|
It's not just horses I feel this way about. I feel the same about men, as well. I got dumped twice in a row, first and second time out of the chute, inthe last year., and since then, I think and rethink and then rethink some more every commitment I have to make. But I'm nto sure why. :?
 
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#2 ·
well with the horse i would say go and test ride and see if you can set up a trial week or something that way you are sure shes the one you want not jsut by what and ad or seller tells you. If you don't click with her then don't buy.
As for boys well im only 15 so i have no answer to that except don't let it get to you someone will come along it just may take some time.
 
#3 ·
If you haven't ridden her then do it before you buy, but honestly you just know. (I thought you had, but can't remember)
My 1st horse, Mona was my sister's and not even for sale. I always liked her & she was the perfect horse for me. She's a horse that can do anything, was safe enough for me to ride as a beginner, but still challenging. When the opportunity came, I took it.
My other horse Willow was my friends horse. She was probably too much horse for me, but when my friend had to get rid of her, I jumped at it.
I still like horse shopping (looking) & always will, but when you find the right horse something will just click for you. Same with guys.
 
#4 ·
I bought the horse I ended up with because I couldn't stop thinking about him. When I initially rode him, his trot was horrible, but his personality was to die for. A few days went by where my gut kept nagging me to the point where I realized a trot can be improved up to 80%, but a personality does not change and the good ones are hard to find.

My advice, ride the horse, kick the tires and then give it a few days. If you've pretty much forgotten about the horse by then, it's not the one. Don't settle. There are plenty of good ones who need homes for dirt cheap right now if you're willing to put in the time to look.
 
#5 ·
I was like that too when I was looking at horses, Try out the horse, think about it for a few days and see how you feel. You have to see personality wise if you get along with the horse and all that kinda stuff. I know when I was looking at horses i had a list of things I wanted in a horse, and looked at quite a few horses. But as soon as i stopped worrying about it, I went to horse show and just happened to find a horse I fell in love with, and she was nothing at all like what I was looking for, But it worked out well. Dont settle for a horse you think is the right one for you, because its a big commitment, chose a horse you really like and you feel like its the right decision
 
#6 ·
Well, since you need a coggins I'm guessing the horse is not close enough for you to try out first. The only advice I have is my own experience. I bought one of our horses from out of state without trying her first. We did not need her to be trained but we still wanted her to have a sweet disposition and there was also a certain look we wanted that I was pretty sure I saw in her pictures. Other than that all I had to go off of was the ladys word I bought her from. She turned out to be exactly what we were looking for but I still look on Craigslist all the time to see if I missed out on a better deal too. Sometimes I find them but it doesn't matter because we have already bonded with the one we have. That will probably happen to you and, like I said, it wont matter when a better deal comes along.
 
#7 ·
Many horses look good and sound "perfect" in ads, but when you see them in person the flaws appear rather quickly. I would never buy a horse sight unseen. EVER. But that is just me. Look at the horse that is 45 minutes away before committing to the $675 horse.
 
#8 ·
Oh no...I HAVE ridden her. Definitely. I saw her the first week in dec.
Here's the weird thing...when she declined my offer weeks ago, I literally got in the shower, and CRIED. I NEVER cry. Ever. Ever. I've broke bones and not made a peep. I go watch my sisters keeper..got my brother to tears...im fine. But I CRIED over this horse.
I've been offered five or six horses since that mare, and still...even tho I knew I wouldn't get her she was still in the back of my mind.
Would that be an indication I like this horse alot more than im willing to admit to myself?
P.S-- the QH 45 mind from home is grade. And doesn't neck rein. Just ranch broke. She kinda sounds like a jumbo version of Reba.
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#11 ·
Poultrygirl, I'm glad to hear the lady called you back with "your" offer! So, you've been looking for a long time and you may never find a horse with 100% of what's on your list in your price range. You also have gotten used to shopping and it's hard to accept that you might find the 100% perfect horse next week - but you know that's not likely to happen. So, (and I'm smiling here) do you want to shop or do you want to have a horse you can ride?

You already know that this horse meets most of your criteria and if the lady had accepted your first offer the mare would already be home with you! :)

Having said all that, when I 'settled' for my 12 year old mare that was too fat and the wrong color and just 'trail broke' I kept looking, too. But, now, she's able to do a lot more than trails and we are having a blast. There are other more gorgeous horses but she is, as John Lyons would say, "my perfect horse" now. In my case, I decided that "perfect" was the enemy of "great" and I went ahead and bought her.

You'll know if she's the right horse for you. BTW - The lady is going to be a winner even if she doesn't get her first price - you're going to give this mare a great home!
 
#12 ·
Thanks Ladytrails :) it means a lot.
Well, I composed anemail Sunday night and sent it. I've been checking email at every opportunity since then, and no reply. And this isn't like her. This lady is on the computer several times a DAY. It's never taken her days to respond. I called her today and left a message--no response to that either. I'm getting a little I'll at ease. Did she change her mind?
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#13 ·
You just know when it comes down to the right horse. Every single horse I've bought for me has just felt right.

Stan I phoned about a two line advert in a local free ads paper, I sat on him for 10 mins and KNEW he was coming home with me then! I was in the fortunate position of having some fairly substantial finances behind me (thankyou mummy) so didnt even ask the price, however the lady who owned him wanted a forever home and I offered that as well as giving her first refusal if anything ever happened to me and he had to be sold (he was with me untill his death) thus I got him at a bargain price!.

Reeco, again I was looking at horses seen a few that were ok, not realy special but ticked every box on my list. Then I saw Reeco (was offered him through a very tight knit UK showing forum), he was NOTHING like what was on my tick list however I kept going back to his picture. I organised to see him 2 days later, pretty much convinced by the time I got there that if he wasnt an ogre of a character then he would come home with me. First thing he did when I saw him was wander up, give me a kiss and then raid my pockets! He was sold to me then, I didnt even have him vetted! I watched his old owner trot him up to make sure he was sound and that he moved straight and that was it. I put a deposit on him and picked him up 2 weeks later. Thankfully I had a sustantiasl amount of savings as well as a large payout from stans death so money wasnt an issue (he was rather more then I was planning on spending)
 
#14 ·
I fell in love with Zee months before I ever rode him. His stall was directly across from my previous horse. He was the type of horse I could only dream of one day owning. When Danny was retired, Zee's owner agreed to let me lease him while I shopped for a new horse, since Zee needed the exercise. I kept telling myself that his owner would never sell him and he was too old for me, so I wouldn't even consider trying to buy him. After a month and a half of leasing him, I looked at several horses and kept thinking that I wasn't willing to give up leasing Zee to buy this horse. One day I knew that Zee was it, wrote a very long email to his owner about the possibility of buying him, and she agreed! In the back of my mind, I always knew he was the one...

If you have a feeling that maybe you should keep looking, then maybe fate is trying to tell you something. If its meant to be, then it will work out. If it doesn't, the right one is still waiting out there for you.
 
#15 ·
To me it sounds like you're not sure if you want to commit to any horse?

I can understand, especially in today's economy it can be really hard to move horses on, and afford them, and if she is the wrong horse you might find yourself stuck with her. It can be a bit of a risk to take.

People talk about "perfect" men and "perfect" horses, but to me there is no such thing. Perfect means without flaw, or exactly right but I don't believe anything living is without flaw, or exactly right, because they have minds and bodies that you cannot control, and that you cannot know.

If you don't want the horse don't get it. If you want to wait around sure, but look at why you are waiting and what you want.

Even if the horse ticks all your boxes doesn't mean its suitable for you. Some horses you just won't like, and others you will, and its same with people. Some times something suits you well, or badly, for no apparent reason.

If you're not ready wait. Don't get a horse because it seems just right, get a horse because you really, really want it.
 
#16 ·
To me it sounds like you're not sure if you want to commit to any horse?

I can understand, especially in today's economy it can be really hard to move horses on, and afford them, and if she is the wrong horse you might find yourself stuck with her. It can be a bit of a risk to take.

People talk about "perfect" men and "perfect" horses, but to me there is no such thing. Perfect means without flaw, or exactly right but I don't believe anything living is without flaw, or exactly right, because they have minds and bodies that you cannot control, and that you cannot know.

If you don't want the horse don't get it. If you want to wait around sure, but look at why you are waiting and what you want.

Even if the horse ticks all your boxes doesn't mean its suitable for you. Some horses you just won't like, and others you will, and its same with people. Some times something suits you well, or badly, for no apparent reason.

If you're not ready wait. Don't get a horse because it seems just right, get a horse because you really, really want it.
That's a great way to put it.
Well, she didnt respond to the call on her house phone, so I called her cell phone last night (Im probably every sellers worst nightmare--I have your phone numbers and email :-|), and left a brief message just saying it was me, calling about the mare, if she could give me a call back at her earliest convenience that would be great. That was last night. Still, no reply to email and no return of call.
I'm actually WORRIED at this point. Even if she has changed her mind and decided she wont sell the mare, or sold her to someone else, it seems really odd she wouldnt call or email (she doesn't work, she lives alone, she's had health problems lately and spends a fair amount of time at home.) I'm seriously, WORRIED about HER. Last time I spoke with her she had just lost her favorite dog in a very unexpected way, and she was really down. I'm worried something has happened to her. :shock: What if something HAPPENED to her?
And the clock is ticking--I have a bid for a GREAT (like I couldn't even drive up there and haul her back at this price) bid on uship for shipping this mare, and it expires saturday. I cant accept that bid til I know if I have the horse. :shock: And classes are coming up fast here, starting next week. It's just like everything is on a stopwatch now.
 
#19 ·
Doesn't matter what horse you buy, you'll always find another one that makes you go, "Aw, darn it!" Until you get attached to your horse and you don't care about nicer horses anymore. At least that's what happened to me.
 
#20 ·
Well, called the vet last week, and she wouldnt answer or return the message I left. Called days later and she picked up. She said she would head out there early this week for the coggins and health paperwork to get started. She said she'd call as soon as she looked at the mare. That was last week. This week, I haven't heard from her. Called and left another message. No response. This makes me antsy cuz the one thing we're waiting on is that paperwork.
Yesterday the hauling company set after me, and they ARE VERY nice, because they had a load of ponies comign down today, and could have taken the mare. And they don't worry about a coggins (honestly, we know she's healthy.) But...we don't even have a health cert. They drive this route often, so I told them to hold off.
This morning, talked to the mare's owner, about what's going on and she angrily said "GEE I WISH YOU COULD PAY BOARDING FOR HER!" Lady, its the VET who won't come look, or telling anyone waht's going on at this point.
I'm just tired. Yesterday was bad. Really bad day. Half way thru my classes I had to drive to the college library to drop something off. I can't afford the $400 parking permit, so I always park waaaaay off campus and walk. Well, I reasoned "just dropping a book off" and I'd be "right back". So I parked in the guest spot of an apartment complex across from the library. I went in the library, got really ill and spend 30 mins in there throwing up in the bathroom. When I felt strong enough to come back outside, my truck was gone. Called the tow company, and sure enough. THe apartment had been waiting for me, apparently, and called as soon as I got out of my truck.
I had another class at community college several miles away. I had no way to get there. So I set off on foot with my 30 pound backpack on my back. It was windy and 30 degrees outside. I arrived 25 mins later to class, my teacher stopped the class, came and pointed me out, and wanted me to sing. Even though I was covered in a sheen of sweat, shivering, and my nose wouldnt stop running.
After class I had to have the tow company come get me, go across town, paid $180 for my own stupidity and drove away to my next class. I'm just tired and yesterday was long. And the horse vet doesn't need to make it any longer! haha. I'm not sure why I'm writing this.
 
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