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.Delete. 02-24-2011 10:14 AM

This is starting to effect my riding, advice please
 
(It helps me deal with it if i talk about it so bare with me) My mom has terminal breast cancer, she was diagnosed 3 months before i left for college. Recently (yesterday actually) we found out that the cancer is getting progressively worse, when we were told that they were treating it successfully. She had her cemo port taken out and 2 days later she found a tumor under her arm which she had removed yesterday, it was confirmed it was cancer. They doctors told us it has spread threw her body and they can no longer contain it. I dont know how to deal with this and im rather conflicted with emotion. But anyways.

This is effecting my riding lately, im distracted, i cant think straight. I fumble around ontop of my horse and give him mixed messages. I find myself tensing up and leaning forward more. I just cannot relax and focus on my riding. Which is a big problem considering i go to college to ride horses :?. I have a trail test tomorrow and i have a feeling its going to go horribly wrong. I feel so overwhelmed with everything thats going on, especially when im ontop of a horse. I just cant shut my brain off

Have any of you ever experienced this kind of thing? If so what did you do to help it? I appreciate any ideas or advice

mbender 02-24-2011 10:19 AM

Wow. So sorry that you are dealing with this. Maybe if you take a break from riding it may help. Oh gosh, all I can tell you is stay strong. I can only send you my prayers.
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Speed Racer 02-24-2011 10:20 AM

Delete, my condolences. My mother also has breast cancer. She had it about 15 years ago, they did a radical mastectomy (her choice) of her right breast, but it's returned and in her left now.

Since she's 81 y/o, she's refused any more treatments and is just letting nature take its course. She'll go on pain killers when the time comes, but nothing else. I'm not happy about her decision, but I understand it.

You're completely overwhelmed, and the stress of trying to do well in school as well as deal with your mother's illness is making you unable to deal with either. That's not usual, and unfortunately, there's no real cure except to take some time for yourself and try to confront your issues.

Is there any way for you to take a hiatus from school for awhile? If horses are part of the curriculum you don't see them as relaxation any longer, merely something you have to do in order to get a good grade.

.Delete. 02-24-2011 10:27 AM

My major is western riding. I can get behind very quickly, I know taking a break probably would be best but it's just not an option for me. I'm sorry to hear that speed racer, that must be very hard.
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.Delete. 02-24-2011 10:31 AM

Also my university offers free counciling services I might take advantage of that
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JustDressageIt 02-24-2011 10:37 AM

Talk to your Profs. That is an awful thing to go through, and my heart goes out to you both (Delete, SR). Your profs will understand, and I'm sure they have some solution for students whose families are going through a rough time.
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mbender 02-24-2011 10:37 AM

I would Delete. Best thing for you is to talk to someone. Hugz!
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Speed Racer 02-24-2011 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .Delete. (Post 939437)
Also my university offers free counciling services I might take advantage of that
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Excellent idea, Delete. That's why they're there.

Please keep us posted, okay?

Thank you all for the kind words. I rarely give out private, family information, but I figured Delete would like to know that she's not alone in feeling overwhelmed, bereft, and angry that her mother is ill.

.Delete. 02-24-2011 10:45 AM

Thank you bender an JDI. I really appreciate it SR it means alot to me. I'm not sure why talking about it helps me deal but I'm sure counciling will help also. Now the battle of finding time for counciling
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.Delete. 02-24-2011 10:47 AM

And I certainly will keep you guys updated, I have a journal on here an I'll post the updates there. Thank you guys so much
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