I suggest taking a few lessons with a dressage coach. Find a coach that is open to teaching flat jumping classes. Just explain that you want to feel more connected with your horse and work on getting your horse on the bit. Via the internet, I don't think we can help you since we know nothing about your horse or how he/she feels. We also don't know what training you or your horse has had. Trust me even one lesson with a good dressage coach will really open your eyes and help you and your horse. It would be just a flat class in a jumping saddle (I'm guessing you are a show jumper from your name).
I don't think you could learn that from an online forum, as much as I love this resource. Being on the bit is a feel and it can only be properly taught by a master. You could use a jumping trainer too.
Yes, a good jumping trainer would know that too because good jumping trainers do lots of flatwork! You'd probably feel more comfortable with a jumping coach. Do you have a coach right now (@OP)?
Knowing you as well as I do showjumper18, I suggest a slight movement or wiggle of the right rein whilst holding the left completely still. This needs to be exaggerated whilst moving to a still left rein and a tugging right rein. Be careful not to make this too obvious, however, as I know that many horse riding instructors have eyes like hawks and will always leap onto your back over having to much hand movement.
Sorry, no, on the bit or on the aids is not produced soley by a rein aid.
It is produced by riding forward on a properly warmed up horse into a firmer contact and you know you've done so correctly when you feel the horse's back rise up under you and the horse accepts the firmer contact without resistance.
It is something that happens to the whole horse, starting with the hind end and moving through the horse's whole body, not something that happens or the rider does to the head and neck.
It's usually a much better idea to learn what it feels like on a schooled horse who will respond immediately when asked correctly than try to teach it to your horse without actually knowing what it feels like.
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