Younger brother in riding lessons.. Trouble (kind of long)
So on Sunday Daisy was measured for 4-H and afterwards we chatted with my 4-H leaders and got on the subject of lessons and my brother who is 8 taking them as well as me. Now I've ridden for a while 6-7 years, so it's no biggie for me. Well, we contacted a man today that they suggested and he said we could start in the next week or so. He requires that you bring your own horse to ride at your lesson, which is perfectly fine for me, but my brother has never ridden and none of my horses would be able to be handled by a beginner, much less an 8 year old with no horse experience other than being led around. So I tried explaining this to my mom and she got kind of angry at me as if it was something I did..
Then later tonight we were talking about which horse I was going to take the first time and I told her that I wanted to take Buttercup because I know I can trust her with me wherever we are, but my mom said that she thought I could take Daisy for a couple weeks aka about 2 lessons and then let my brother ride her while I take Buttercup. The problem with this is that Daisy is only 3 years old and has a maximum of like 5-10 light rides.. While she's a very gentle horse, she's young and can get very nervous in new situations. When I told my mom that my brother wouldn't be able to ride her after only a couple weeks, she completely went off on me. I don't know what to do because I don't want my brother to be hurt, and my mom just won't seem to understand. What should I do?..
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could you get a trainer to explain to her that putting an 8yo on a very green 3yo is a bad idea ?
An old saying that comes to mind... Green + Green = Black & Blue.
I agree, and I just got the 'I didnt spend all that money on a horse for him not to ride' speech. She makes me feel like it's my fault for not just slapping him up on a horse and letting him go.
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I agree with gypsygirl try to get someone like a trainer to talk to your mom, even though you know what you are talking about sometimes parents will be more likely to listen to someone who has more experience.
The boy is your mom's flesh & blood? Unbelievable! Your mom seems to not care about the boy.
You need to do all in your power to prevent this totally inexperienced 8-year-old from riding the 3-year-old! You need to ACT, even if it means calling the police/human services! The welfare of the boy is at stake! Good luck!
wow!!!! your parents sound like they don't know anything about horses. you should suggest that they get on this horse to assess if they think this horse is suitable for a beginer 8yo.
if they can get on and say that this horse is safe, then call the trainer and give him the heads up. bring the quietest horse with you and then when it hits the fan then you can swap horses. always good to have a back up plan. unfortunatly, you can tell them until your blue in the face but if they don't want to listen then you got no choice.
if you can put a body protector on your brother and check the fit of his helmet.
Why don't you take the horse intended for the 8 yr old to the trainer the first time , and have him assess the horse as to whether or not it is suitable for a beginner rider. Your parents may listen more to him/her as a person of authority - as your trainer is not going to want a prospective pupil to get harmed due to an un suitable mount.
My mom cares about my brother, I just dont think she understands that horse riding isn't just sitting up there, kicking them, and pulling the reins.
^ That's a really good plan. My only problem is I'm not even sure if I am comfortable taking her there to ride myself. I can if push comes to shove and I'm sure things will turn out fine, but she is just way too green in my opinion. I think I'm going to be forced to take her though. I wouldn't even really be having this problem if my mom would go with me when I wanted to ride her, because I can't ride without a parent present at the place I'm keeping her.; luckily I think she's moving home soon, but I just think I will be nervous while I'm there and I think nervous + green could = black and blue as well.
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I have one student myself who 2 years ago, prior to becoming my student leased a horse from a breeder. The horse was 4 with 30 days on it. The first day of the fair she left in an ambulance. They were having a practice session with their leader and the carnival rides were turned on, horse freaked (which should have been expected on a green horse that had never been off the farm) and threw her over the arena fence and into the announcer's stand. She spent the rest of her summer in casts with a broken leg & arm and was lucky that was all that happened....thank god for helmets! Her parents then contacted me for lessons and help finding a suitable horse. She now rides a 15 yr old been there, done that. He may have cost a bit more than they could've purchased the green 4 yr old for, but their children are safe with him. It also took quite a bit of time to get her past the fear created by being matched with something too much for her. She spent 6 months on one of my dead broke aged mares before she was sure that she even wanted to try to get another horse. I'm afraid your parents may find by putting him in that situation, they will find not only is there a huge chance of him getting hurt but it may change how he feels about horses altogether and then every bit of money they spent would be a complete waste.
I think Scoope's suggestion is a great idea! I would say if she makes you nervous that you may not be ready for a green horse either. I grew up on a horse with a trainer for a mom, I wasn't allowed to show a youngster until I was 14 and had done every bit of her training start to finish with the supervision of a very seasoned professional.
I would also consider letting your parents read this thread and see the opinions from a wide range of experienced horse people that have nothing to gain from the situation.
Good luck and good job to you for showing great maturity and concern for your brother's safety.
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