I sold her ='(
Someone please help me! =( I sold Lola about an hour ago for 200 euro...To be honest I do not care about the price I would have given her away to a good home for nothing. But I sold her to a man who will try to sell her on and if not then I do not know what will happen to her..So why am I feeling like I have done so terrible to sell her for so little?! Why am I crying my eyes out if I did not enjoy riding her. To me there is no point owning a horse if you cannot or do not want to ride it...I obviously loved her very much in other ways but just riding her was a chore. I never liked doing it. She is to much of a challenge for me.
I am finding it so hard to type this because every time I think about what I did I feel unbelievably bad. I feel bad for her. What if something horrible happens to her?! At least she was happy with me. Can someone please help to realise she does not understand! She will not see the difference in me and someone else... She could find a great home!
Or is it just because I have made the most stupid decision of my life? I regret it so much already and I just want her back! Does it feel that way the whole time even if you know they are not right for you? I hated that I have given up and people hate me for deciding to give up...
So today was another typical friday. I went into work, brought lola in and fed her. I did not want to ride her because I rode her yesterday and she was spooking at everything.. Then work began...On fridays there is a showjumping league so it was busy. The jumping started and I forgot about lola even though it was always in my head that I wanted her gone in the next few days. Then the potential buyer said he could not buy her because he had nowhere to put her. That was a big blow..I really wanted her to go to him...So since he was not buying her I decided to try another man. He is the type of man who will take in young horses, train them then sell them on. So he was very reluctant to take lola which is why he only offered 200. She is 10 and a mare so he really did not want that. Then everyone left and he told me to decide if I wanted to agree or not. I said I would wait until next week and think about it. But I was thinking maybe I should just get rid of her. So I said fine as long as nobody knows the price. So he went and got the trailer ready. I loaded her. I really do not know how I held back the tears at this stage but it was very hard. I didn't even say goodbye..I couldn't look at her...It must mean I made a stupid mistakes ='(...So then he gives me the money and leaves. I just about make it hope before I burst out crying in my room. Then I come on here because I need to know what other people think..Has anyone else had the same experience? How long is it gonna take for me to get over it...I am not gonna be able to face anyone now because if they ask I will keep crying! There is actually no need for me to go to the yard now because she is gone..I can only go now for work...
And my friends who have helped me with Lola and made her better are going to hate me. Like I said they were already giving out, saying I was giving up because I was thinking of selling her. It was hard to explain why I just didn't want her. I could really use their support but I know I am not gonna get it..
I am meant to go look at a horse on monday but I just cannot even imagine replacing her. I feel so guilty. I just cannot believe how stupid I am..I am more than likely never going to see her again..
I am gonna have to stop now or I could go on forever, I am sorry for this very long post but I needed to get it out. ='(
Even with a horse you're not particularly bonded to, it's hard to let go and trust someone else to care for them properly.
Lola obviously wasn't the right horse for you, and it's better you sold her to someone who can retrain her and sell her on. She'll have a chance at a better future with another person who will love, appreciate, and get along with her better than you ever could.
Right now you're feeling seller's remorse. It'll pass.
I am not so sure how to reply, since I have never been in the situation before.. But, were you desperate enough to sell her to the next one to ask? That happened rather suddenly I think. I feel REALLY bad though, you can't blame yourself for not being able to work lola when she wasn't compatible with you. I understand how crappy you must feel, but, I kinda wish it was the perfect situation for you and you sold it to someone close to you. Unfortunately, that isn't how it seems to work in the horse world.
I am sure she will be getting the training she needs to find herself a compatible rider who will give her a good home. If she doesn't get the training somehow, weather it had been from you or someone more experienced to handle her, she won't be able to reach her full potential. Thats if the man you sold her to meant well.
I am very sorry sweety, I can't possibly understand or feel the same way that you do. But I do hope that you will get through it somehow. And I pray that lola is in good hands.
I hope it passes! Will I always feel so guilty..? I hope I find out what happens to her. I suppose I will be seeing the man for the next few weeks so I will know how she is getting along.
I have finally stopped crying XD I hope I don't explode into tears when people talk to me about it though =/
And thankfully my friend is actually being very nice about it =) Just what I needed to help calm me down.
Thanks for the support guys it really helps!
Once I know exactly what is going on with her I am sure I will feel better.
Aww. I am very sorry. I had to sell a very beloved horse of mine and it was the hardest things I ever did. I felt like the worst person ever and that I was betraying her. I sold her because I was going off to college and she was getting up there in her 20's. Thankfully I found the most wonderful owner for her who retired her and would email me all the time about how she was doing as well as pictures. She even contacted me the day she died. So I understand the remorse who are going through, girl. The only thing that worries me is that it sounds like you just sold her to whoever would take her. While I can understand that attitude especially if you didn't get along with her on a regular basis, just doesn't be surprised if he doesn't keep in contact with you about her, escpecially if that wasn't agreed upon before she was sold. Not everyone is nice enough to send updates other than "I sold her."
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Well I know the man and everyone around knows him. I was just told that if he cannot sell her he lets his son take on horses that cannot be sold so she will be in a good home.
And he is the type to let you know what is going on. He even said if he came across a horse that would suit me he would let me know.
I figured I just sold her like that and get it over with I can do nothing about it. I have been wanting to sell her so many times but then I change my mind out of guilt. So the last minute decision is the only way I could do it =( I know it is not great but I am just hoping she finds a good home. She maybe going to a woman who will hunt her. I know she will enjoy galloping through fields XD
I am trying to stay positive. I am reading a few threads on here and everything I read makes me think of that time that Lola was in the situation etc. Sigh...I am so terrible at feeling guilty about everything...
Thankfully I feel a bit better today. I can now think about her leaving and not burst into tears XD But I still feel rotten..Maybe the sooner I lease a horse the better. I dunno if I said but I am going to look at one on monday.
Judging by your previous posts about you and Lola, make sure your find a horse that is at your level as well. It would be no fun to take on another difficult horse for you. Just do your reasearch and I'm sure you'll find a good one.
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Yep that is why I will be leasing for a while...For one thing I really need to get over my fear of riding different horses. I am sure leasing horses should help. And if it does not work out I can give them back so it will not be as complicated.
Lola really did turn out great. But I was afraid of her from the start. Even though over the last few months I have been doing great on her with hardly any fear it was always in the back of my mind and I could just never click with her.
So it is half me really. I have no confidence and my nerves are a mess. The trainer/BO of the yard even said that last night when I was talking to the man about lola. The problem is me, not the horse.
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