Horse taking over
I have a horse, Max.
i bought him about 7 months ago and ever since, have been losing control of him. He has started kicking when i touch his feet and because i'm not confident and he knows that, i won't go near his feet much anymore especially his back ones. Another problem is that he won't leave his other horse friend and is reluctant to pay any attention to me or move without his friend.
Today i went riding and he kicked every time i came near him because he knew i wouldn't go near him. I think he is getting worse and worse, soon he may be a disaster. He also bucks when you try to canter him and because his quite lazy, i don't think he wants to canter. i think he has learnt to buck when i want canter so i will stop. I don't know how to fix this, but i know its mostly because my lack of confidence. I just want him to trust me so we can have one of those great relationships like most people say they have. If anyone has any tips i would be grateful.'He has only ever been a trail riding horse.'
If you are serious about all of this, then PLEASE enlist the help of a professional trainer before going any further. Internet advice only goes so far, and it's not going to keep you from getting hurt if your confidence is that shaky...
This must be very frustrating for you. Is this your first horse? I suppose you had an idea of how Max would be and he's not fitting that image and you don't know what to do. To me, it sounds like you really need the help of a person, in person, who has more experience and confidence than you currently do to help you get Max back to where he needs to be. I think this will be very hard for you to do on your own, and maybe even dangerous if he is kicking out at you.
Some will say you can do it all via video training, and I suppose you might try, but if your experience level is not so high, having a real , human mentor would be incredibly valuable.
Please ask around for a good trainer to help you establish a firm relastionship with Max and learn how to deal with his buddy sour issues.
I wish you luck.
Dreamer, I third the appeal to get a professional trainer, or at least the help of a more experienced horse person.
This horse knows you're afraid of him, and is only going to continue to escalate the bad behavior until you learn to build up your confidence and take charge.
In order for you to build confidence, you need someone helping and overseeing your riding and handling of this horse.
Without respect, you won't ever have affection or the bond for which you're looking from your guy.
What they said-
thanx for the help. i will take your advice, hopefully it works?
Welcome to the forum!
I am of a different opinion. If I was in your position, I would sell the horse and look for one that will build my confidence rather then shake it. While it is very true that both you and Max need some professional help, it is also common for riders (especially newer ones) to over horse themselves then spend time, money, aggravation, and putting themselves in danger trying to correct the mistake they made.
Too many riders buy a horse for the wrong reasons (not knowing how you acquired your horse, this may not apply to you). They buy the first horse that looks like their ideal vision or they were given the horse, or it was a rescue, and so on. Sometimes you have to look really hard at the situation and admit that the horse would be better off in the ownership of someone more advanced.
I recently bought a mare, Bonnie, that is one of the best trail horses I've ever owned - and I've owned many. She came to me because her former owner couldn't handle her and ended up with a broken wrist because she felt she had to bail off her when they were heading home and couldn't control Bonnie. I've never had a single problem with her except that she has to know her rider is in charge. If she does not have the confidence in her rider, she takes full advantage of them. My point is that Max may be the ideal horse for someone, but not necessarily for you at this point. Take your time and build your confidence with a horse that will work for you.
May I ask what his age is and how you came to get him? From a person, auction, rescue?
If you really like this horse and want to make it work, I would really suggest you get the help from someone who is very experienced with horses.
If you're pretty shaken from him, I would sell him and look for a more docile horse who is older and more experienced. It sounds like this might be your first horse.
Your horse does not have any respect for you; he sure knows what's going on here and is taking advantage of it!
Hey, Macslady! I'm from IL as well!
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