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dreamsintotreasure 07-14-2011 09:45 AM

I think I am searching for a needle in the haystack
I just want to ask... is there any decent guys out there anymore that don't feel threatened by horses and who might actually enjoy spending some time out at the barn? I am not saying that he has to ride or anything, but it seems like every guy I meet tries to take me away from the barn rather than enjoying it with me. I am more than willing to try and enjoy their hobbies with them, why is my hobby any different. I guess I just haven't met the right one yet, but I have no clue of where to meet him. Especially since I live in such a small town. UGH...

mysticalhorse 07-14-2011 09:58 AM

My hubby enjoys our girls but I do all the chores. He is into loving them only ;). But our son will someday grow up to love it all like me.....I hope, lol.

So sorry you keep find duds!
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Jacksmama 07-14-2011 09:59 AM

I have had a lot of the same issue, non-horsey men just don't understand most of the time. I grew up in Indianapolis, which as you can imagine isn't a very horsey place,lol. I know people are iffy about this, but because of my work/barn schedule I never met anyone so I went to an online dating site. Yes, I had to weed through some REAL winners, but I did finally meet an unbelievable man that has a horse he adores, lives out in the country, and we fell head over heels for each other. The 2 huge things I recommend on these sites is talking for a few weeks before you ever go to meet them(ALWAYS in a public place!!!!!), and don't get hung up on looks. Good luck!

dreamsintotreasure 07-14-2011 10:02 AM

Thanks for the insight. I am on an online dating site, and I am really good about talking to them for a couple weeks before meeting them. And I ALWAYS drive myself where ever we are going. A girl can't be too careful these days. Just seems like to me there aren't to many guys looking for the same thing as me in my area. I am 23 and I am really looking for a guy I could eventually settle down with, but most guys in their mid 20's are still in the party phase :/. Gotta keep searching for the needle I guess.

LetAGrlShowU 07-14-2011 10:03 AM

Oh hunny, dont be silly! :D You think all the happily married women on here have men that are eager to go to the barn? No way. Check out my post

When you find a good guy, make sure you let him know that alot of your time is spent at the barn. That you'd love for him to join you, but if he can't, he'll have to udnerstand that its a priority for you. A stable man will look at that as an attribute of a woman who is hard working and determined. Everyone needs something to call their own. Horses can be yours, and you can still enjoy a good man. Dont beat yoursefl up about it. But definitely dont be with a man who is complaining that he gets no time because of your horses. If it starts that early on, it'll only get worse later.

Where in NC are you?

dreamsintotreasure 07-14-2011 10:08 AM

Oh. Don't get me wrong. I don't expect my man to come out to the barn and be as excited about horses as I am. I just would like them not to try and pull me away from my horses. Because like you said it will only get worse and since horses are a passion of mine, I won't let them pull me away. I just would like to find someone who is supportive enough to not try and pull me away.

mysticalhorse 07-14-2011 10:29 AM

I did meet my hubby through an online dating site & when we had our 1st date he lovingly set it up as a double date so it would be more comfortable for us both.

Now yes he loves our horses but right now he is HATING the vet bills. Since our girls have seriously hurt themselves 3x in about 5 hasnt been easy! He grips to me about the cost but I have caught him privatly talking to each horse telling them we will take care of them : p
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dreamsintotreasure 07-14-2011 10:36 AM

Awww he sounds really sweet!!!!!! I hope I get as lucky as you did.

I am sorry to hear your girls are hurt. Unfortunately it seems to come with the territory :(. Hope they get better soon and stay out of trouble!

Dresden 07-14-2011 10:52 AM

They do exist. My guy isn't really horsey but he comes to the barn with me once or twice a week. And he insisted I take this horse on trial that seems perfect for me even though he costs bit more than I wanted to pay. Find a guy who makes your happiness his priority and the horses shouldn't be a problem.

But be willing to compromise and give the guy some time too. Some non horsey time. I make it a point to watch movies or go to dinner with my boyfriend and NOT talk horses at least sometimes ;)
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serafina 07-14-2011 11:10 AM

My husband thinks I smell great ("earthy" was his word) when I come back all stinky from the barn. And he thinks I look super hot in my riding clothes.

He's not a horse guy at all, but he loves me like crazy and he appreciates my passion for the horses. He has an equivalent passion for MLB - I don't have a problem when he wants to fill up our DVR with baseball games, or spend hours traveling to/fro a game (or when he really wants me to go with him), and I've learned enough about baseball to hold a sensible conversation on the subject, and even know many of the players on his favorite team. And he is fine when I need to get up early to hit the barn for a lesson, and he doesn't complain about my stinky clothes winding up in the laundry, and he likes to come down and watch me ride once in a while, and doesn't mind when I inspect every piece of agricultural terrain we pass in the car for evidence of equines (and deliver a running commentary on the subject).

We get all this because we really love each other, and "really loving" means being interested in what lights your partner's fire, participating in it to some mutually-acceptable degree, and supporting what you don't want to participate in. If it was taking me away from him emotionally, or consuming all of my available time, it would be different. But I make sure that it doesn't (even though it would be very easy to let that happen!) and he makes sure that his baseball passion doesn't, and we're both good with it.

So yes, good partners are out can be hard to find them, and having that kind of partnership takes a fair amount of work and commitment. But it's great when you get it!

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