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AmazinCaucasian 08-28-2011 04:23 AM

Training a little donkey to attack
 
I got a new project and I need some help. Last Friday I traded a coon dog and a used chainsaw for a miniature Jack. He probably weighs about 183 pounds. The thing is, he loves to fight. He's really aggressive to all animals, including dogs. He bites, kicks, and stomps at pretty much anything that moves. My horses have become terrified of him even though they weigh roughly 6 times as much as him. When he rolls up on them, they quiver and shake. I have actually seen him bite my big gelding and hang from his neck till he screamed. The scream must have hurt the donkey's big ears because he turned loose.

So I don't want to castrate the little guy. I was thinking I could train him to attack. It would be very useful and I came up with some great ideas already!

1. Teach him to go with me trail riding and keep rude horses out of my "bubble"

2. Keep mean dogs away from me and my horse while riding. (I have seen him drown a medium (about 58.5 pound) dog before)

3. Keep him in the back of my truck to protect it. Dogs are no good! They bark and run the criminals off, then you never know who was trying to rob you. Thieves would never expect a small donkey to grab them! No bark, no warning, just attack and hold them till you get there!!!

Anyone have tips or ideas? I want him to go when I say "ATTACK!!!" Also he can swim, is very quick on his feet, he knows how to hide in the bushes, and he WILL eat meat. (If that makes any difference)
Thanks

Dressage10135 08-28-2011 04:26 AM

I seriously hope this is a joke.

HowClever 08-28-2011 05:04 AM

What....I don't even....
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Wheatermay 08-28-2011 05:42 AM

JEEZ people he's joking! LOL! I got a laugh at it!

Spyder 08-28-2011 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmazinCaucasian (Post 1152818)
I got a new project and I need some help. Last Friday I traded a coon dog and a used chainsaw for a miniature Jack. He probably weighs about 183 pounds. The thing is, he loves to fight. He's really aggressive to all animals, including dogs. He bites, kicks, and stomps at pretty much anything that moves. My horses have become terrified of him even though they weigh roughly 6 times as much as him. When he rolls up on them, they quiver and shake. I have actually seen him bite my big gelding and hang from his neck till he screamed. The scream must have hurt the donkey's big ears because he turned loose.

So I don't want to castrate the little guy. I was thinking I could train him to attack. It would be very useful and I came up with some great ideas already!

1. Teach him to go with me trail riding and keep rude horses out of my "bubble"

2. Keep mean dogs away from me and my horse while riding. (I have seen him drown a medium (about 58.5 pound) dog before)

3. Keep him in the back of my truck to protect it. Dogs are no good! They bark and run the criminals off, then you never know who was trying to rob you. Thieves would never expect a small donkey to grab them! No bark, no warning, just attack and hold them till you get there!!!

Anyone have tips or ideas? I want him to go when I say "ATTACK!!!" Also he can swim, is very quick on his feet, he knows how to hide in the bushes, and he WILL eat meat. (If that makes any difference)
Thanks


You want an "attack Jack" ???

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

equiniphile 08-28-2011 10:25 AM

Lmao! You had me for a minute....staring wide-eyed at the computer screen, hand twitching towards the phone for AC! You should've waited for April Fools, though--given me some advance notice :rofl:

mysticalhorse 08-28-2011 10:28 AM

Love the idea of keeping him in the back of your truck!!! Alarm jack!
Posted via Mobile Device

MHFoundation Quarters 08-28-2011 10:30 AM

An "attack Jack" - that's great! Ornery little buggers, may as well use his talents to your advantage ;)
Posted via Mobile Device

AmazinCaucasian 08-28-2011 01:37 PM

Attack Jack Update
 
UPDATE>>>>>Ok I was very excited of the possibility of taking donk with me in my truck, so I stayed up all night fabricating tie-hooks and making him a little crash helmet and goggles. So this morning we made our maiden voyage to town to show off. He rode very well, leaning into curves, etc. But when we got to town we stopped at the fillin' station to air up my back tire. That's when things went horribly wrong.

I had to pull the air hose over the bed-sides(under attack jack's belly) to reach the flat tire. Turns out there was a leak in the hose that spewed poor donkey's belly. He evacuated the truck but was chained to the big toolbox. It came out with him and the unit became a donk-toolbox-air hose tornado spinning across the parking lot at lightning speed. Horrible crashing sounds echoed through the town as the tools and box crashed off the vehicles, soda machines, and gas pumps! He relentlessly kicked the toolbox with his front feet, but it wouldn't die. It just kept rattling and "chasing" him. It was one of the most spectacular wrecks I've had all week!!

Now keep in mind this is Sunday morning and all the church people were in town. I was very disappointed when nobody offered to help! They just looked at me like they never saw anything like that before. In fact, I didn't have ANY help until the city cop showed up. And he threatened to taser my Jack! An altercation ensued, and I got his taser. So some of these town folks are mad because their vehicles got a few "dents" and "scratches" but donkey was unharmed, thanks to his crash helmet and goggles!!!

So anyone know where I can git some donkey insurance?

ShutUpJoe 08-28-2011 01:53 PM

ROFLMAO! That's awesome. I can read the headlines now,


"Ass Attacks Town"


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