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Depression; how do you cope?

This is a discussion on Depression; how do you cope? within the Rider Wellness forums, part of the The Horse Forum Community category

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        07-17-2013, 05:23 PM
      #11
    Yearling
    Come take some of my fuzzy critters, I have 4 dogs, 3 cats, 2 horses, and a rabbit LOL
         
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        07-17-2013, 05:28 PM
      #12
    Foal
    Unfortunately in addition to my lack of funds my house is overrun with a pesky rat dog and a humongous fat cat and per the lease we can't have any more pets. They belong to my roommates and like their "parents" are probably the most obnoxious creatures on the planet lol
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        07-17-2013, 06:49 PM
      #13
    Yearling
    We have 2 small chiauhuas and a few years ago I read somewhere that petting animals will release serotonin in your brain, kinda like a natural anti-depressant for a short while. So the joke here, when someone is down or upset, "pet the chiauhua, pet the chiauhua"! Our poor babies, some days we may pet their hair off!
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        07-17-2013, 07:43 PM
      #14
    Weanling
    Lol MsLady! I decided after years of being on meds to stop. I was on Effexor and if anyone here knows anything about this med first don't ever go on it, and it is hell to get off of it. It took me three months of not taking it before most of the horrible withdrawl symptoms went away. Now I guess I just cope. Some days are ok, some days I want to sleep. I try to keep busy and get my butt off the couch, other days I don't. Horses help and I stay in contact with friends. I know it's bad when I start to withdrawl and isolate myself from them, so I make a big effort to stay in touch.
         
        07-17-2013, 08:49 PM
      #15
    Yearling
    I didnt answer a non work call for 2 years, once. Now I have friends but no close friends.I find socializing to be so draining. Everyone expects something out of you, and I can play the part but it eats me alive, I fell into a 3 hour sleep coma after successfully insinuating myself into getting hired on the spot yesterday...with no appointment. So clearly I can do it, but its so hard to fake what people consider normal. Ugh.

    People are so fake though, most would throw their elderly grandma into traffic for a nickel. One reason Im so depressed? This society makes me so sick sometimes. No one cares about anyone else.....
         
        07-17-2013, 09:14 PM
      #16
    Foal
    @nomadseawolf that's how my relationship with my roommates has deteriorated so much. They love being around people and when I'm not at work there is a very select few people I can stand being around. My boyfriend and his family mostly. My best friend lives 4 hours away from me an my family is 12 hours away otherwise they would be on the list too. I never answer phone calls, I wait for them to leave a message first. I stay in my room the few hours I'm home and don't venture into the rest of the house unless its crucial. I can't even clean my own room when people are home. Like you said, everyone expects something out of you. What's worse is that at 22 years old I've been on my own for the last four years yet my roommates still treat me like a child. Despite being the only one who can pay the bills on time and consistently proving that I'm a responsible adult I am always treated like a child.
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        07-17-2013, 10:46 PM
      #17
    Trained
    Wow, you are me 20 years ago. Boy did I hate my 20's. The decade of "shoulds". Everyone should enjoy partying. Everyone should date. Everyone should like shopping for clothes...ugh.

    I tried to beat what I thought was mild depression for 20+ years with no success. No drug or therapy did squat. I also lived far away from any friends or family. I never liked being out in crowds at parties or bars. It just wasn't me. For years I had people tell me to get out, be around other people, put myself in situations I would not normally do. The day I realized what a bunch of crap was is when things took a nice turn for the better. I am, plain and simple, an introvert. Put me in large crowd or at a busy bar, and I'm a miserable girl. Let me be with my horse or at home with my parrots and a cat curled up next to me, and I'm happy as a clam. We all don't fit into the box that society dictates we fit into. It just isn't realistic. We don't all have those magic social skills where we can have those instant connections that we watch others make. No pill can solve what you are going through. You are suffering from the young person symptom of "shoulds". There is nothing you should or should not do. If it doesn't feel comfortable for you, don't do it. That being said, do seek out things that you love. If you are an animal person, put in a few hours a week at a shelter walking the dogs. If you like gardening, plant some vegetables. Take some time and find what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what makes everyone else happy. That might sound selfish, but if you don't take care of your own needs, no magical fairy is going to show up and do it for you.

    Your #1 advantage here. You are young. Get yourself a good education or job skill, make good money, buy yourself a nice condo or small house where you can be with just yourself and go out and mingle with others when you darn well feel like it. I know things don't feel so great now. Just get through it. At some point, the clouds will part and you will find what makes you happy.
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        07-17-2013, 11:57 PM
      #18
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck    
    Your #1 advantage here. You are young. Get yourself a good education or job skill, make good money, buy yourself a nice condo or small house where you can be with just yourself and go out and mingle with others when you darn well feel like it. I know things don't feel so great now. Just get through it. At some point, the clouds will part and you will find what makes you happy.
    I wish it were that simple, believe me. I have a very strong family history of depression. I grew up with a depressed parent, one of my aunts committed suicide when I was a kid, and I have several cousins who struggle with addiction. I know I am young and hope that I can turn this around so that when I am a mom I don't put my kids through what I went through. I sought out help and was diagnosed by a medical professional after several situations made it very clear that I need help. I'd like to think my therapist would agree with you though. I just have to learn how to recognize those clouds parting.
         
        07-18-2013, 12:33 AM
      #19
    Green Broke
    When I was going through depression I found my self a good psychologist and proper medication. It took a WHILE and a rather long stay at the hospital but I found the right combo of medication and a trustworthy psychologist. When I came out of the hospital I started volunteering at the barn I currently work at. Doing something for someone else made me feel better then any medication ever could. Not to mention the activity, sense of belonging, socialization, sense of worth, and what not it gave me. I'd look into volunteering where every you think would be the best fit for you. A hospital, therapeutic riding center, the VA, homeless shelter, animal shelter, etc. A few months after starting volunteering I quit all my medication. If I started to feel "dark" again I'd remind myself the life isn't easy and I have a lot to be thankful for. Bottom line was I didn't want to be depressed anymore. I feel like I somehow separated myself from depression and moved on, while in the beginning I was wallowing in my own self pitty. Sincerely wanting to get/feel better can, and will, make all the difference!
         
        07-18-2013, 12:39 AM
      #20
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by whalegirl    
    I wish it were that simple, believe me. I have a very strong family history of depression. I grew up with a depressed parent, one of my aunts committed suicide when I was a kid, and I have several cousins who struggle with addiction. I know I am young and hope that I can turn this around so that when I am a mom I don't put my kids through what I went through. I sought out help and was diagnosed by a medical professional after several situations made it very clear that I need help. I'd like to think my therapist would agree with you though. I just have to learn how to recognize those clouds parting.
    There is your problem right there, you have to actually BELIEVE and truly want to get better.

    And ps, your family doesn't dictate who your going to become. Addiction runs in my family. My mother is an alcoholic, my father is a deadbeat who had a "drug/drinking habit", my grandparents have both more then indulged in their fair share of alcohol, my grandfather was pretty heavy into coke in the 70s and now I start seeing signs of my aunt going from "wine-o" to maybe having a little bit of a problem. I see what happens around me and how it tears people apart. That will NEVER be me and i've learned to make lemons into lemonade. While most kids grow up following their examples I was learning what NOT to do. Take your experience and use it to your advantage.
         

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