I wouldn't worry about wasting her potential. If hubby can ride her let him go ahead. Enjoy your horse however you can.
Now I know nothing about your condition except from what you've said
Meantime could you look at sourcing a quiet horse to plod on. Something short and stocky preferably, even if it's just to keep your muscles used to it. Like a thereputic riding school sort of thing.
Or could you look at groundwork. My boss used to teach a girl (about 19) how to work her Arab from her scooter so there are options.
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