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Frustrated and feeling sorry for myself

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        02-24-2014, 06:21 PM
      #11
    Weanling
    Thank you, everyone, for the suggestions. Moving her is out of the question - she's at my daughter's presently, and we just couldn't afford any of the few boarding facilities near us. Having someone come and ride would be possible - my daughter has 2 older horses that would be ok for a lighter person to ride. The only other alternative is for me to ride one of them and for my husband to ride Nibbles, but, selfishly, I want to ride her. I have thought of putting in a pulley for the saddle to get it on her back - I KNOW Nibbles wouldn't care, and I will probably go that route, or one of the other great suggestions above. I really am thankful I'm as good as I am - the doctors really didn't think I would be able to walk, but I want to ride SO BADLY! I really do feel safe riding alone -my daugher has a lot of trails, but the one loop I ride on is practically within shouting distance of the barn. I take my cell phone, and if I fell, my dog would let whoever was looking for me know where I was. I just get so frustrated - I had all these plans of starting with competitive trail riding and/or getting a trailer and going to all the neat places to ride. I know Nibbles could do whatever I asked her to. I just feel I let her down. I only am able to ride her about 20 times a year, and she has so much to learn and is so willing, but it's next to impossible with the amount I am able to ride, and I just don't have the energy to really 'work' her. Walking the trail is about all I can do.
         
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        02-24-2014, 08:46 PM
      #12
    Showing
    What about hiring an assistant? Like a volunteer that you "pay" in rides once in awhile?

    Or... go saddle shopping for something less heavy. There are lots of saddle choices out there! As for grooming, you can keep a light sheet on her to keep her cleaner so grooming only takes brushing out versus scrubbing down.
         
        02-24-2014, 09:20 PM
      #13
    Green Broke
    Customcanines, great big, ginormic hugs and prayers sent to you in all of this! I must say you have not "Let her down"! Not in any way. She is a horse who knows her owner loves her, cares for her, sees to all of her needs, spends time with, and that alone speaks volumes to her! She's not dying to be ridden as much as you're wanting to ride, so put away all forms of guilt in that regard. Do what you can with her, when you can, and if you can't do a lot in a day, just hug/stroke her nose/give her carrots/sit for a while in her pasture and simply enjoy the moments of togetherness.... you'll find such pleasure in those quiet moments :)
    natisha and piglet like this.
         
        02-25-2014, 05:57 AM
      #14
    Yearling
    Hey, I've had another thought. Maybe your horse could be educated to pull a buggy and this would give you something else to do with her that wouldn't be very high impact on you (maybe you could drive with an experienced volunteer who could gear up for you etc). Sure, driving is not the same as riding, but it can be good fun and I'd do it in a flash if for some reason riding became too difficult. If your horse has a calm disposition, it's maybe worth considering. Do you have any driving clubs in your area who might help out?

    By the way, is that your horse on your avatar shot? Beautiful animal!
         
        02-25-2014, 08:12 AM
      #15
    Trained
    So sorry……I really think you should look into free leasing her to a therapeutic facility if there is one in your area with the understanding that you can come ride her with their assistance. That way she will be taken care of without additional board costs, and you will have the help you need to ride her safely. Please at least go visit one of these facilities-they really are wonderful. I have one of my horses free leased to one presently, and he over his new job, and I love that he is so loved by all of the clients and staff. I may have to get him back before long tho, since my DH has MS and the MD has recommended riding…..IF we can get past the allergies.
    updownrider and ChristineNJ like this.
         
        02-25-2014, 01:38 PM
      #16
    Green Broke
    I just wanted to say... Nibbles is the cutest name ever. (: Have you discussed any of these new ideas with your husband?
         
        02-26-2014, 01:41 PM
      #17
    Yearling
    I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel as I'm in the same boat. Have been for 4 years. Do you know what caused/triggered the CIDP?

    I'm sure you've seen the paralysis cases on the news in California linked to enterovirus 68 in children?

    I have been sick for 4 years. I caught an entervirus and it paralyzed my GI tract. On top of that I have leg weakness issues- my legs will collapse when walking (as my knees buckle without warning). Sometimes I go to move my leg and my toes drag. The neurologists I've seen have NO explanation, as so far all testing (nerve conduction, MRI) have been normal. Although my GI doctor says I probably have vagus nerve damage, and/or nerve damage throughout my GI tract.

    Right now I'm doing pretty good as I am in between flare-ups and actually eating thanks to a new medicine.

    Goodluck! My mom helps me with saddling/horse care.
         
        02-26-2014, 06:08 PM
      #18
    Weanling
    Thank you everyone, once again. It's nice to know I have friends here who will give me moral support. I have to remember that all of us have problems we have to overcome.

    Part of the problem is my daughter's property is very hilly, and we don't have an arena. The only place to ride is the trail or the steet. Thank goodness Nibbles is good on either, but I don't like riding on the street, and wouldn't feel comfortable driving a cart there, as the roads are narrow and winding.

    Franknbeans, you may be right about giving her up, but at this point I just CAN'T give her up. Sometimes she's the only reason I get out of bed, even if it is just to watch her.

    Hopefully I'll be able to figure the saddling and grooming thing out. I asked my husband, and he didn't like the idea of hiring someone - he said he would do it. I guess I'll just have to resign myself to the complaints about my heavy saddle and when I don't have anyone to do it, I'll ride bareback, as even my english saddle is too heavy at this time.

    Sue - thank you very much. She is pretty. My vet, who shows in AQHA and palomino shows, said she should be shown, and would do very well. SHe even expressed interest in showing her, but I just don't want to let her leave. I truly believe she is my angel as someone or something certainly led me to her and made me buy her. (I was looking for an older, 'bombproof" gelding, and I hated palominos. I kept seeing her ad, and I finally just went for the heck of it. No vet check,didn't ride her or even really touch her. She was delivered to my daughters an hour and a half after I first saw her, and she has been PERFECT - it's like someone KNEW I would need her.)

    Zexious _ My husband named her. He had another mare by that name when he was little, and as soon as he saw this horse, he said "that's Nibbles!" It fits her, as she is constantly gently lipping my hair and hands. I probably shouldn't let her do it, but it never escalates, and she quits when I tell her to.

    4 horses - I am sorry you are going through this, too . Nerve problems are no fun. My dioctor is certain it was from all the stress I was under for so long, and I agree. AT times I felt like I was just going to explode and I think my body just said "enough!" Did they test you for CIDP and POEM? I hope you feel better soon and thanks for the support.

    THANK ALL OF YOU for the support and suggestions, they are greatly appreciated and I know that by using some of the suggestions, I will somehow make this work. Thanks for letting me rant!
    Golden Horse likes this.
         
        02-26-2014, 06:11 PM
      #19
    Weanling
    Also, to Cacogirl - my dobe is VERY wel lbehaved. I used to train and worksearch and rescue dogs . SHe comes perfectly and doesn't bother the horses. I fwel more secure when she's with me, and it's not a public trail - I ride on the coule of hundred acres of trails by my daughter's.
         
        02-26-2014, 10:08 PM
      #20
    Trained
    If I lived close to you, I would come over and saddle up your horse for you, I really would.
    Captain Evil likes this.
         

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