I saw your post yesterday, but wasn't sure how to respond. Still not, but...
I spent 25 years in the Air Force, but it was different then. In part because it was the USAF & because I was an officer, but in part because the military culture has changed from the 80s and even the 90s.
My two oldest kids enlisted. My daughter went into the Marines at 17. Entered very gung-ho, and emerged hating the USMC. She mostly liked working the flightline, but she was then put in an office & her description matched yours.
My son is still in the Army Guard, but this is his last time. He isn't exactly a model soldier, but his NCOs haven't exactly been model NCOs either. He came back from Afghanistan feeling particularly bitter because he felt the officers were totally clueless. He felt the officers and senior enlisted were betraying the junior enlisted.
That is why I said the military culture has changed. When I was a young Lt, everyone emphasized getting out and seeing what was going on for yourself. When I was in Afghanistan in 2007 on my final combat deployment, the idiots in Bagram thought email was reality. They also had no interest in what happened outside of Bagram. The last thing they wanted to hear was that their policies wouldn't work.
When I started, honesty was prized. There were some butt-kissers, but most of the commanders I had early on despised them. Later on...well, there was far too much of it. By the time I retired, it seemed no one wanted to tell a senior officer the truth. On a positive note
, your current feelings and treatment could change dramatically with a PCS or change of assignment. I had it go in both directions more than once during my career. During my tour in England, I had 3 commanders in 3.5 years. The first was stupid but honest, the second was outstanding, and the third desperately wanted to court-martial me but couldn't get his hands on the evidence needed. And each change in commander completely changed the atmosphere of the squadron, down to the lowest enlisted. The first guy was laughed at but liked. Under the second, people looked forward to coming to work. Under the third, everyone wanted out. All in 3.5 years.
I'll also add that it also happens in the civilian world. My wife is an RN who was verbally reprimanded for being 10 minutes late. What happened? Well, someone had fired a few shots at the Interstate, so the cops closed the Interstate down while trying to find the shooter. She hit the backup between exits, so it took her an extra 30 minutes to get to an exit and then wander her way to the hospital. The only reason she didn't get a written reprimand was because the shutdown was on the news, and her supervisor probably didn't think she could make it stick.
The same unit cut RNs by 25% while increasing their number of patients, and then started complaining that the remaining nurses were putting in overtime. Ya think?
She was also given a written reprimand for telling a patient care tech to stop texting and get to work on a patient. She was told she needed to file a written complaint and work it thru channels. She asked how that was going to help the patient who needed care immediately, but she didn't get a reply. Unless you consider "That is our policy" a reply...
Of course, the written reprimand doesn't include an actual description of what happened, only that she knowingly violated hospital policy.
So some of what you are encountering is simply life
. Even if you are your own boss, you will encounter it. The friend I bought Trooper from had an allotment with the BLM. He was running only 20% of his allotment. The BLM announced they were cutting everyone 50%. He said that wouldn't affect him, since he was only using 20% - but THEN they told him the 50% cut applied to whatever you were running, not what you were authorized. So he paid 100%, was only running 20% while he built up, and then ended up with 10% of what he had paid for - thank you, Washington DC. And no, the guy making the decision had never visited the allotments he was cutting...
Good luck to you. I know it is difficult.