Sky - I like that idea, except now I actually can't sit up straight, right now I'm sitting awkwardly on the couch, leaned back onto the armrest while also lent to the left to try and take the pressure off my gallbladder, so I think riding is a little out of the question just at the moment :(
Story of my life, I've always got something/somethings to deal with.. Anybody care to build me a pillow fort that I can pretend to be a happy carefree problem-less child in again for a while?
Thanks Sky, yeah, timezones can be a little difficult. All of my friends have run for the hills but yet i've always been there for all of them, every time. The one time I've broken down enough to need to talk to somebody who's there, oh that's right.. Just me -_- I do have my bf, but he's got problems of his own right now and I don't want to upset him further by offloading my problems onto him.
Tracer - thanks for the explanation, how do they watch it go through? Are you in a machine like a CT scan or MRI or is it completely different again?
I know none of it lasts forever, it's just the constant string of problems, it's always something, I don't remember a time where I had no physical issues to deal with, then there's the mental side.
I was on anti-depressants that were working for that and my anxiety, but the doctors first thought that it was either that or my OCP that was causing the issues, so they took me off them both, even after I tried to tell them that it wasn't the pills, it was food that was the problem. So at this very moment I'm not on anything, but I'm coping ok for some weird reason, well, coping better than I have been anyway, until today at the doctors. Then I went back to course but had to leave early due to feeling dizzy and extremely sore.
As the needle went in for the blood test today, I almost fainted, my vision went, my head went and my whole body went slack, but just as I was going I come back all of a sudden. This has never happened before, I have no fear of needles (considering I watch all of my piercings happen, and I watch the needle go in for blood tests etc) It was so odd. I didn't feel safe driving afterwards and I was lucky enough that I happened to come across my grandparents at the blood center.
I would like to put off my studies, but with my student loan sitting at almost $10k right now, I can't afford to add on another 5k to try the course again, plus I have watched one person drop out, and one person get kicked off and I'm determined to not have that happen to me. My tutors are very understanding and do all they can to help me out, I just feel so stupid and incapable of doing a lot of the things that I can normally do without a hitch, I'm frustrated with myself, not with the course, if that makes sense?