Fair warning this is pretty much just a rant and me feeling sorry for myself…. But I’m so frustrated :( My shoulder has been bugging me for 3 years on and off after I injured it twisting and throwing a load from a shelter I was cleaning. I finally went to get a diagnosis today.
I’ve honestly been scared to go up until now. I grew up never going to the doctor for anything, everyone was expected to just “suck it up”, but after getting to the point where I’ve been breaking down into tears every other night trying to sleep (which I hate to admit) and some everyday tasks have become extremely painful I thought it was time. That and my boyfriend threatened to tie me up and drag me in if I didn’t go in myself.
So fine, I scheduled an appointment with a sports medicine clinic specializing in shoulders and joints. Waited the 2 and a half weeks I had scheduled in advance knowing I could get the day off work. Drove the 2 hours in… And it was all for nil.
The doctor asked if I had seen anyone else, I said a chiropractor once who suggested it was shoulder impingement. He did a quick assessment and found my neck, around my shoulder blade and lower back were extremely tender and my arm weak on my right side. Then said it’s unusual for someone to be in so much pain and for so long, but ok schedule with a physiotherapist and have blood work done. Goodbye. 10 mins max. As he was half out the door I was desperate and asked what else I could do to help it at all. He turned back and told me “heat's always good”. I said no… Heat is very painful and showers can be excruciating. So he says “oh well ice then, whatever works”.
WHATEVER WORKS? I didn’t come out to be told do whatever works. I didn’t come to a doctor to have them seemingly take the suggestion of a nameless chiropractor that looked at me for less time than he did and who’s “adjustment” made the pain unbearable for 2 weeks.
I just don’t know any more and I’m kind of feeling at a loss, I feel like I’ve used up all the options available to me. I don’t even know if this really is shoulder impingement and he didn’t say. I’m having a harder and harder time even holding on to objects. I feel nauseous and dizzy using the arm for work and I’ve had to switch to my left. I can’t sleep on my right side or back and the nightmares and waking up constantly aren’t any easier to deal with. I’m worried about my work with Cass and how difficult leading, grooming and saddling are all getting to be… Not to mention my future career plans as an RMT.
I guess I’ll phone physio in the morning after my first shift and hope for good days. Maybe because I’ve never really gone to a doctor I was expecting too much but I can’t help but feel there is something seriously wrong with our health care system.
Miserable. Thanks for the rant.