Hi Draftyairsmum, I read about your spill on the other forum page, so yes I see your problem, I just ordered a cd, its an interview that Rick Lamb had with John Lyons, I just had to cry while listening to it and thought, yes this man gets it! It made me understand, and he puts things so simply you think to yourself, hell I can do that! Made me want to get on my horse then and there and prove to myself that yes I can! (but of course life gets in the way of fun, LOL)
I would recommend you get it, its called "fear in the rider fear in the horse" I purchased it from Fear of Horses
It was here within 3 days after ordering and I couldn't wait to listen to it. I would recommend it to any and all riders who suffer from fear or low confidence.
And Raficca is sooooo very right, ignore the trainer and her looks, she is making you worse by filling you with guilt about your problem, your fear is real and there for a reason. John Lyon's biggest bit advice? Ride where you can, not where you can't, if your not comfortable there is nothing wrong with getting off! Good luck! Your not alone out there, we are there for you, and you can get better! Don't loose hope!