I skimmed through the first few pages and I'll just say this--although I have not had quite the journey you've had, I have been battling losing weight as well. I like flavor, and umm...eating right is hard! Basically how I started was I put a goal in my mind. I am lucky enough to be extremely driven.....as in 'no' is never an acceptable answer and I will work for what I want, and get it. I decided that I wanted to lose weight and gain muscle for my horse. If I expect him to be in shape well I need to be in shape too!
I also decided to do Crossfit, but I'm doing it 5 times a week with weekends off. Honestly its all in the individual affiliate; I am lucky enough to have an awesome group of competitive people who push me, and a great personal trainer who knows when I'm BS-ing something and when I'm not. But if you don't have the money for that, you can still work perfectly well with a YMCA membership if you are really dedicated to making this happen. I know there is a lot of bad mojo surrounding women and weight lifting (I don't know why) but I personally like being strong and if you want to reduce fat, building muscle is really an invaluable part of doing that. Cardio burns calories and fat as long as you are doing it--muscle fibers burn calories through out the day. I do 30 minutes of weight lifting, and then a daily WOD (takes up the additional 30 minutes) and I am home in time for dinner. I go after work, and the affiliate I go to is directly on my route home, so there is zero excuse to go except my laziness. My weight loss has been slow--I saw a 10 pound loss when I cut out soda, then a few inches but no weight, and now I've lost ten more pounds and about another inch a few weeks ago--I haven't weighed or measured myself since then but I know that I need to, for my goals' sake.
I also agree that you need to do a whole food purge and throw out the bad crap, and then only replace it with good stuff. Go to the store someone else if you need to have a referee, but make it happen. I know my personal weakness about eating good food was partially that I had to actually cook the good food and I didn't have to do any kind of work for the bad stuff. But I got over it, and now I cook for a couple days at a time.
As far as eating, I really really suggest trying low carb. Try and cut out most breads and potatoes (aka starchy carbs), only eating small portions once or twice a week to curb cravings and subsequent binges. Lots of eggs, tuna, chicken, spinach, asparagus....stuff high in fiber and protien. Fiber will make you feel full a whole lot sooner, and without all of the additives and all of that other stuff, you won't be so chemically driven to continue eating (junk food is engineered to taste good so you want to eat more!). I really think you should go spend some time with your sister, haha and immerse yourself in Paleo for a little bit; even if you don't end up committing to that lifestyle, you will more than likely come out with a whole new view on processed foods and how to shop at the grocery store.
I also suggest you set goals for yourself, both long and short term. This has been the biggest driving factor in keeping me 'on the wagon' so to speak;these past few weeks I have been house sitting far away from my affiliate, but I am running half a mile and also making up my own WODs, which would have been unheard of for me at the beginning of the year. Right now I am aiming to lose 10% body fat, hopefully by August 11th (when I will be going on vacation for four days and I want to be beach ready) but I also am aiming to get triple digits in all of my lifts (squat, deadlift, and shoulder press). In the long term, I want to be able to compete in the Crossfit Open next year.
Bottom line here is, and if I sound harsh I'm sorry this is just how I personally think about it, you have to want it bad enough. Very much like an addict, you have to hit rock bottom before you can really change yourself, whatever rock bottom for you may be. For me it was 165 pounds and size 16.