Babysitting Rides - Where Do You Draw the Line - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 25 Old 04-24-2012, 10:25 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,964
• Horses: 3
To me the big thing with novice riders is their attitude. There seems to be three main ones:
1."I don't know much but I want to learn",
2."I know everything"
3."everything else(horses, people, weather, etc) are at fault for my problems, it cant possibly have anything to do with me."

The last two are incredibly frustrating to work with. People need to accept that probably 95% of horse problems are made or encouraged by their owners, and can be solved if they would just wake up to that realization.

Dont envy your situation at all, I totally agree with your decision not to ride.
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post #12 of 25 Old 04-24-2012, 10:28 AM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 5,464
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Speak up. Get your friend to start talking. Sometimes getting things out in the open is the best way for them to actually see what is going on. Keep in mind they are likely talking to others and saying - this person I ride with keeps upsetting my horse. Same issue - different point of view.

Could be this is the wrong horse, they may need lessons or confidence building. Maybe had a bad wreck and the memory won't go away.
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post #13 of 25 Old 04-24-2012, 05:16 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Missouri
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Haha good to know, I really am fun to trail ride with. Especially when it comes to gate opening. I unlatch it, Sky uses his nose to fling it open (if I give him the signal) and then we both wait outside for people to pass through. They can graze his backside and he doesn't even flinch. One trail ride we had a 3 year old snacking on his tail and Sky didn't mind.

But I agree, talk to him and then talk with her. You don't have to.. but if you want to get down to being able to ride with your friend again then it may be worth a shot. But of course, don't give up your own enjoyment and safety.

Originally Posted by Jolly Badger View Post
Thanks for the responses!

Skys - I think you're the kind of "beginner rider" that I'd have no problem riding with. Everyone (and every horse) starts somewhere, and it sounds like you've found a good group of understanding riders who have kind of taken you "under their wing" to give you a safe and fun way to build up some confidence. There's a lot to learn, and most of it you just have to learn-by-doing. It can't be picked up by reading a book or watching a video or even practicing in an arena. The confidence comes from succeeding at something you're not sure you could do.

As far as my friend, he will actually turn down offers to go on rides with other people unless the "scary rider" is coming. And, of course, if she comes along she brings the drama with her. Actually, I think he's a bit smitten with her, which sounds cute and romantic and all except that in this case it's just not fun and even the horses end up stressed.

A couple of weeks ago, he was out of town and he allowed a mutual friend to borrow his horse for a trail ride. The mutual friend has ridden that horse many times before and done well with him, but she said the horse is "totally changed" now. . .he's like a rubber band that is stretched thin and feels ready to *snap* at any given moment.

And now I'm getting word that there have been some "incidents" on their trail rides that could have turned into a serious situation if someone had been injured. So, you have the more-experienced rider on a wound-up mental mess of a horse, and an inexperienced rider on a younger horse that knows just enough to know how to intimidate her rider and get away with naughty behavior.

You see where I'm going with this, right?

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #14 of 25 Old 04-24-2012, 06:08 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Seminole, OK
Posts: 1,854
• Horses: 3
Like Skys, I'm usually the one that needs "babysitting." I'm a re-beginning rider, and far from fearless. However...I live in terror of not being asked to ride again. My first time out in years was last June, and up until the very end of my ride, it was the best day of my to speak. My mare was an angel...until she got tired. Then she started getting pissy. No biggy. I didn't ask anyone to cut short their ride - though daughter did volunteer. Had I known that the main rest area was only a couple of hundred yards further, I'd have tried a little harder to push on. As it was, I started leading Dancer back to the trail head. After she had rested a while, and the rest of the group caught back up with us, I figured I'd try to remount.

Big mistake. A FAT OLD WOMAN SHOULD NEVER USE AN UNDERCUT RAVINE AS A MOUNTING BLOCK!!!!! Right in front of everyone, the ground gave way beneath me as I was about to step over into the saddle. Wound up on the ground underneath Dancer. I heard the bone in my foot snap, and the bones in my other knee grinding. Not a pleasant sound. But...I managed not to scream or fact, I was so embarrased I couldn't stop laughing.

At any rate, I was afraid I had ruined things for everyone, and they would not want me to ride with them anymore. Turns out, I've had a couple of calls recently wanting me to ride with the same group again.

I don't complain or blame anyone else for my mare's mistakes...or my own. I'm out to have a good time, and I can't have a good time if I let myself be scared, can I?

I have a good horse, even though she's a novice to the trails. I trust her. And I am so glad that I have friends that are willing to put up with my ignorance and lack of experience, and I for sure will try not to let them down. One thing I hope I never do, is make them unwilling to ride with me!

Plain Old Dee, horses Dancer and Rain

I believe in dragons, unicorns, good men and other mythical creatures!
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post #15 of 25 Old 04-24-2012, 09:13 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Cooksburgh, PA
Posts: 761
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We have BlueSparks rider number 3 at our barn. First time out with green rider and green broke horse (I didn't know that). Her horse rammed in flight twice into my horse and reared once almost landing on my horse. I just kindly told her that until she could work out the kinks, I wouldn't ride with her or her horse. She understood and it prompted her to get some training so she wouldn't be left behind forever. So it ended well.
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post #16 of 25 Old 04-25-2012, 05:14 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Out West
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Sometimes if you tell the person what kind of ride you will be doing, they back out on their own.
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The trail is the thing....Louis L'Amour
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post #17 of 25 Old 04-25-2012, 05:19 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Seminole, OK
Posts: 1,854
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Exactly. Daughter and her friends often go on "zippy" rides. They ride paso finos, and just zip along. I don't go on those because I'm not interested in a lot of speed...

Plain Old Dee, horses Dancer and Rain

I believe in dragons, unicorns, good men and other mythical creatures!
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post #18 of 25 Old 05-01-2012, 04:53 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: State of Confusion (SC)
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Originally Posted by iridehorses View Post
I don't mind babysitting a novice rider once in a while. Once it stops being fun or I dread the thought of riding, then it's time to stop riding with them. Horses are my passion and have been for my whole life. They give me comfort and peace - if I hate to ride because of a novice rider, then that infringes on my time.

Once in a while, OK. Every time - just isn't going to happen.

I'm not concerned if they don't understand it.
Iridehorses is being WAY too nice. He puts up with me and I am a really curious blend of brave and chicken. And I can be very verbally chicken!!
It's a good thing he and my husband get to ride without me when I have to work or they would both be sick of me! LOL
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post #19 of 25 Old 05-01-2012, 05:06 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 7,109
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I think you answered this yourself--you DISTANCE yourself from them.
DH and I are pretty much retired now from CW. When it was at it's peak, I had a string of very well mannered horses, pretty fearless, very dependable and safe. Even then, we found ourselves on the field with some dangerous men, made even MORE dangerous bc they carried a pistol (dangerous when loaded) and a saber (ALWAYS loaded.)
Now, as in the pleasure horse industry, there are more and more reenactors who take untrained horses to events and are accidents waiting to happen. Even now, we just go to the 1st day of a local event bc our friend gets his park permission bc of a 5th grader program, where local school bus them in and they rotate to 11 stations. After that, we load up and trailer home. No battles, no bad horses or owners to contend with.
Two of my horses aren't finished, but they are rideable, don't rear, buck or bolt. I intend to make very good trail-riding animals out of them, to match my finished "babysitter" mare, and I see my big guy as a future babysitter, like my babysitter QH, "Ro Go Bar", (1982-2009, RIP).
Once you get a horse to that point you really have to protect them from fools. I am very picky about who handles and rides any of my horses now and I am picky about who is riding with us.
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post #20 of 25 Old 05-01-2012, 09:13 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Clio Mi
Posts: 71
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Ugh I hate babysitting "friends" and dont do it anymore...unless I can have them ride at the house for a few rides to evaluatethem and they do all the work. They tend to shy away..dont know why? I mean when they leave, my saddles are cleaned, stalls mucked out horses groomed and fed. *Shrugs...dont know why they dont come back????

But when they do....I know they want to learn, and maybe become my riding buddy in the future??? Its up to them. Horses are a luxury...nothing is free at this farm. You ride you will work.
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Come on spring!!!!!
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