Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
• Horses: 0
Thursday July 15, 2010
The barn had a games night tonight, and Tango is limping again. I thought she was ok, but even when she felt alright to me, my instructor said she was a bit off. Then she had some steps that I could feel were wrong. So, we only walked and trotted. At least she was quiet. The other horses were spooking at stupid things that didn't bother Tango...but I'd rather have her sound.
I don't cry easily, or a lot, but I feel almost heartbroken. If I ever said anything like: "What if she doesn't get sound again?", dad snaps at me to "quit whining". I'm not trying to whine. I'm worried, and upset. If I cried in front of him he would probably just yell at me to stop being so negative or something. So I need to talk here. I feel so stupid and weak saying it, but I need a shoulder to cry on. I have no close friends I want to tell. My parents would either yell, or not really understand how I'm feeling. The only other one I have to bawl to is Tango. She could lend her injured shoulder for me to cry on.
I should never have cantered her yesterday. I should never have let my brother, an uncoordinated green rider, canter her. Did I push her too hard yesterday? I really hate crying. It gives me a headache, and it doesn't achieve anything.
Even when she felt ok to me, my instructor said she was off, so there's a pretty good chance that she was off yesterday, too. Dad said she was fine, but that's dad.
I can look at this as glass half full or glass half empty. On one side, she might still be limping, but it is an improvement from the total lameness last week. And there is that very slim possibility that she could just get better from here. On the other hand, she's still half-lame after a week off, shoes, and medication? How likely is it that she's going to miraculously get better? I mean, sure...if we gave her 6 months off, but...I can't afford to do that. She's the only horse I have for riding. I mean, if it was a matter of her getting better or not I'd give her time off, but I really don't want to not ride for 6 months.
I am so, so upset. I hope dad will actually call the vet.