Is a well behaved horse too much to ask for? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 08:08 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Taranaki New Zealand.
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Is a well behaved horse too much to ask for?

I wonder if anyone else feels the same as me? I went out for a horse ride with a very good friend of mine, I love this friend dearly even though this thread is basically about slamming her. Ok so we went out for a nice big ride, it was a beautiful day, the weather was perfect, the scenic vista was stunning, we had a bottle of wine with lunch. It should have been a perfect day. BUT her horse is a lazy arse,SOB. I mean he dawdles along, dragging his bum, he is always twenty to thirty paces behind us and then he has to have a big trot to catch up but he slows right down again and is soon trailing far behind once more. This is frustrating in itself because it means that my friend and I are trying to shout a conversation which is annoying. But then we head for home. And that **** horse suddenly turns into a complete effin f-wit. He starts prancing and dancing, jiggy joggy crap, every little creek and puddle on the track has to be jumped with a completely over the top sized leap.

It really peeves me because my horse Phoenix starts to get antsy herself because this **** horse keeps running up her bum, she starts getting nervous because every time he does one of his ridiculous lunges across a puddle he runs up her bum. I dont know if I am being completely unreasonable about this but it ruins my ride. I consider that type of behavior completely unacceptable and it really annoys me that MY horse starts performing in the same way every time I ride with this pair. The truth is I am spending more and more time riding on my own, me, my horse and the dogs. I love the company and camaraderie of riding with friends but I am sick and tired of badly ridden horses.

I know that horses can be unpredictable blah, blah, blah but I also know that there are some behaviours that are rider derived and they really annoy me. The worst thing was I started snapping at my friend, when her horse was dawdling I kept telling her to Get Up Him! and then when he started running up our bum I was like, For gods sake can you stop running into us! At the end of the ride I was just frustrated and annoyed which is not how I like to be when I come home from a good days riding. I know I am such a nice friend (sarcasm). I think I will just ride on my own in the future.
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post #2 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 08:21 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Kiwi, I read once that there are no bad horses--just bad riders. Sounds like your friend isn't taking care of proper training/discipline/manners for her horse. If it makes you angry or frustrated to ride with her, don't ride with her.

But, be a real friend and tell her why and offer to help if you can.

Mr. Big has two walking speeds: fast and slow. He prefers slow. Slow doesn't come close to keeping up with the Mrs. mare. Even fast doesn't quite keep up (the Mrs. mare has a walking speed that's about fourth gear!). I'm working with Big to get him to pretty much always either use his fast walk or his slow, smooth, trot. It's the only way we can keep up.

But it's NOT Mr. Big's problem nor fault. It's MY problem, and the previous owner's fault--if there is fault to be had, which I doubt, since he probably never went out with anyone as fast as the Mrs. mare. So he never had to be pushed to go fast.

We'll get there. Someday we'll go out with the Mrs. and her mare will be the one struggling to keep up. In the meantime, Big might have trouble keeping up--but the mare has trouble going the distance. Big can walk her into the ground in just a couple hours. That's not the mare's fault--it's the Mrs. fault for not riding her enough to develop stamina.

'Cause there's no bad horses. Just bad riders.

"Don't just feed it! Ride it!" And the People said "AMEN!"
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post #3 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 08:35 PM
Green Broke
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if this was Facebook, SailorGriz's post would be liked! very well said :)

Baby, Sparta, Carmen, Henry, Hooch, Mercedes, Butterscotch
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post #4 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 08:36 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Taranaki New Zealand.
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You know whats so frustrating is that I have had that conversation with my friend. She knows very well that her horse can walk better than he does when going somewhere but she can't be bothered chasing him up to get him to do so. And she likes all the silly stuff that he does when he heads for home, she giggles away and tells him he is a "naughty little bugger who's full of beans". She loves the crazy jumps he makes, she thinks its fun. How can you talk to that logic? I guess I am feeling a bit sad too because I do like riding with others but I have zero tolerance for crap. The other friends that have the same mentality as me, I don't have many opportunities to ride with because they are competitive horse people so are difficult to pin down for a casual trail ride. And other than the ridiculous behaviour of her horse this woman is one of my dearest friends, going for a ride together is our way of catching up and hanging out. I tell myself to just suck it up and ignore the behaviour but MY horses behaviour as she reacts to HER horse is completely unacceptable.
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post #5 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 09:37 PM
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Wrong attitude, Kiwi. If riding with her makes you frustrated and up-tight, don't ride with her! It simply isn't worth it.

Riding should be relaxing and enjoyable. If something, or someone, is making it frustrating and annoying, avoid that someone or something.

It sounds harsh--but you have to take care of yourself, first. Either that or resign yourself to not enjoying nice trail rides when you ride with her.

"Don't just feed it! Ride it!" And the People said "AMEN!"
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post #6 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 09:45 PM Thread Starter
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yep, I know your right. I have to resign myself to the fact that I am Nigel No riding Friends..*SIGH*. I do like riding by myself though so not the end of the world.
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post #7 of 51 Old 01-17-2011, 09:57 PM
Green Broke
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Location: Maine
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Kiwi, I read this thread and smiled and smiled. Reminded me of a friend that rides mostly alone, but I feel so privileged because she loves to ride with me. Both of our horses are very forward and very attentive so riding together is such a pleasure. Plus, common sense and safety is in our vocabulary. LOL!

I have only a handful of friends I will ride with, and it's getting smaller as I get older because my precious time to ride is less and less and I'm pickier with whom I ride. I can't tolerate foolishness on the trail, or people that make excuses for ill behaving horses.

So I can sympathize with what you have written, but rejoice that I no longer ride with people like that. Well almost never, as there are some in the club I belong to, but I have learned to position myself behind. That way they can't ride their horse into my horses butt ect... Though I haven't ridden much with the group this past year, and didn't miss it.

Like you, I do most of my riding alone, and enjoy it. But, it is nice to ride with a few good friends that actually are in control of their horse.

So while I offer no advice, I thank you for the reminder of how much I should appreciate my few good riding buddies!

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!".
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post #8 of 51 Old 01-18-2011, 05:36 PM
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I have a friend that has a very naughty horse. I mean really it is not her. I know that it has been said there are no bad horses just riders. This is not the case with my friend she works with her horse on every ride to improve his behavior and he has improved ten fold, but he still has a long way to go. She and I attend clinics together and ride miles and miles together. When you ride together sometimes you get annoyed. However, in all honesty, it is good for your horse to be in a situation with an ill behaved horse. Maybe you should focus on the positive and work with your horse on your horseís behavior during the ride. You canít blame your friendís horse for your horseís behavior. It is a hard challenge to keep your horse level while the other horses arenít but it is great practice. If you keep riding with your friend your horse will soon realize that the escapades of the other horse are just the way he is and your horse will relax and ignore the other horses actions.
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post #9 of 51 Old 01-18-2011, 09:34 PM
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Unfortunately i am that bad riding friend with the badly behaved horse. My barn friends were kind enough to trailer me and my idiot horse to a local park for a nice two hour walking trail ride. My horse stomped my foot when getting out of the trailer, bucked before we even got on the trail and wouldn't let one of the other horse pass him when i tried to say i would ride at the back. He also spent a good portion of the ride feeling up the horse in front of him. He jigged so badly on the way back to the trailer that i couldn't walk the next day (bad back issues).

At this point i should say that it was my horses first trail in 4 years, he was in a bitless bridle that he wasn't listening to at all and i was nervous. That being said, i apologized to my friends and set about fixing the issues with my horse. I won't go out riding with him on trail until he listens better to his new bit which he is doing nicely in an arena type setting now.

I've made plans to attend a trail clinic in the area in the summer and my friends are going to trailer me and my horse along so we can learn some things that will hopefully help us both.

sometimes horses act like idiots on trail, it happens. i hope you can convince your friend that she needs to work on resolving some of her horses issues while he is out, if she won't or can't maybe you shouldn't ride with her.
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post #10 of 51 Old 01-18-2011, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Taranaki New Zealand.
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Actually Chvyluvgrl I bloody well can blame her horse for my horses behaviour!!! This is not a situation where I am riding with a friend who happens to be riding a young or green horse that lacks confidence and is fearful. IF I was in that situation then I would be nothing but supportive and would expect a level of ill behaviour. I would also expect my friend to be like yours and try to work with that horse to improve the bad behaviour. That I would not find annoying but that is not the sort of situation I am talking about.

I am talking about a solid, well trained horse that knows how to behave being allowed to misbehave and dance all over MY horse because it's owner admits to being And I quote "too soft to do anything about it"! After Phoenix has been rammed into from behind a few times she becomes twitchy and nervous and spooks out of the way every time she hears this other horse rampaging up behind her. Quite frankly I dont blame her for behaving like this and think it is quite reasonable to want to get out of the way of an idiot. You know the irony is that people with green horses like riding with Phoenny and I because Phoenix is so calm and unflappable and such a grounding influence on spooky horses and I worry that not only is it annoying for me but that by constantly subjecting her to this nonsense that she will become less and less tolerant.
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