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Would it be unreasonable to ask for another horse?

4K views 40 replies 13 participants last post by  ilovesonya 
#1 ·
I'm posting this here because it ties very closely to trail riding and my recent thread: http://www.horseforum.com/trail-riding/why-do-i-find-problem-her-58375/ . Now bear with me-all my initial posts are long.

Tango needs constant exercise. She is not the kind of horse you can just ride for an hour a day, put her away, and expect that to tire her out. You couldn't ride her for three hours and expect it to tire her out, even across country. I mean, this day I'll have her slightly calmed down, and then I never want to get off because it just means tomorrow I'll have to start the battle all over again. What I would love to do is just cowboy her across the entire township. Have any of you wanted to simply keep riding just to see where you end up? It would be so awesome just to spend the entire summer, like, 6 hours or more in the saddle (oh boy, I'd be so sore the first few days =P) just exploring. Take water and lunch in saddle bags and picnic somewhere...

I'd like to spend the summer that way (when I'm not working, of course) but I've also been thinking and I'd really like to have someone with me. Tango is fairly chill and isn't stupid. I can say pretty honestly that she's not going to severely spook (if something scares her she usually just sidesteps then continues on) or throw me or anything, but you never know what's going to happen, so it would be safer and probably more fun to have a second person and horse. Few people around here have riding horses and if they do they're too lazy to go with me. The only friend I have who owns a horse boards it an hour away and it's also a 17 HH jumping horse who is used to staying in an arena. I think we both know that it would probably spook at everything out in the wide world, or it (who is as hot-headed as Tango but not so trail-experienced) would go psycho or something.

I've been thinking, and I really want another horse. I'm pretty sure the friend with the horse would be happy to spend all day riding with me, but she doesn't have a horse she can bring. Now I get to the point of my post: Would it be unreasonable to ask for another horse? Right now we have way too many horses, and Tango is the only one who is used. I ride her almost every day, but dad's got three (for some obscure reason, because he never uses them) who are lucky to leave their field once a month D=< and my sister and her boyfriend keep their filly here as well. My sis bought the filly because she was jealous that I'd gotten a horse, and instead of buying a good, old, well-broke horse that she could learn on (she's only ever ridden our tiny, ancient pony like 5 years ago) that would put up with her beginner crap, she went out and bought a yearling filly because it was the cheapest thing she could get at the auction, and now the horse stands in our field and hasn't been visited by her owners since...what now? March? And before that November. As well, my sister is AFRAID of her, so yeah, this horse is never going to get broke and is going to be a useless hunk of meat standing in our barn eating our hay. Why is it fair that more than half of our horses barely get attention from their owners (well, at least my dad brushes and pets them and bothers to look at them, unlike my sister) and it would be bratty and spoiled for me to get another, who I will actually use? Even if I had the money, we barely have the space to keep another horse. 4 was about our limit, and for some reason we drag more useless, spooky, half-broke things in and plunk them in the field. My parents would probably be angry if I asked them to buy me another, yet everyone is also angry if I suggest selling one or two of the horses nobody uses so that we can get a good old deadbroke horse.

If you were my parent, what would you be thinking when I asked? If I told you everything I just stated above, would you see reason? A new horse and the tack is expensive, I know, but how much worse can it be that spending $1200 on each unused, ridiculous horse that dad currently brings home? Oh, as well as new harness and horse-drawn machinery and everything else that he feels compelled to buy at each sale. I know we're not poor, and if they wanted we probably could afford another horse, but I feel bratty asking.
 
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#2 ·
I see nothing wrong with asking.

I am sure it will get you not points at all if you ask and include that you need a new horse because they are paying for all these useless horses for everyone else so you deserve to have more horses too. :wink: Which is a short version of what you wrote.
 
#3 ·
Lol. I like posting in this section because the responses are always so fast =)

But anyways, you think then that it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask? I already know I'm spoiled (I'm the youngest and my siblings have all moved out) but I don't want to take it for granted and just be all: "Buy me another horse, Bittemin! Saddle up my horse, Bittemin, I feel like riding today." I'm afraid I'm not very good at NOT being a selfish brat though:?
 
#4 ·
There is a huge cavernous difference between asking and expecting.

I see nothing wrong with a well thought out question requesting something (as long as this is not the 963 time you have asked for the same thing).

Getting upset and having a tantrum if they say no, that is something else.



Do you really need new tack? You do not have any other tack around?
 
#5 ·
No, we've only got the one saddle and bridle for Tango. My dad's horses use harness, so you can't really ride in that. I mean, it would break my bank account, but I could pay for the tack like I did Tango's (dad bought the horse, I bought the tack).

I see what you mean about the asking and expecting. I won't be throwing a tantrum if they say no, rest assured. I'd be surprised if they even said yes.
 
#6 ·
The only thing that I can see is that you want another horse to do trail riding...but doesn't tango trail ride already? Are you looking for a really well broke horse? Or a friend to join you on trail?

Either way, asking your parents for another horse is ok. The worst that can happen is that they say no. However, they could also ask you to sell your horse first.
 
#9 ·
Yeah, I wanted another so I could get someone to go trail riding with me. None of his horses are saddle-broke, and quite frankly, even if they were I wouldn't trust any of them. =\ Unusually for drafts, they're really spooky and high-strung...well, then again, they're crossbreds and not full drafts either.
 
#10 ·
Or, yes, if I could actually FIND someone who wanted to go riding I would gladly accept, and therefore not ask for another horse. However, no one else wants to do the hard-core, all day riding. I only just realized...it seems like I ONLY want the other horse so I can take it out with Tango, but I actually would ride it and keep it exercised; it wouldn't just be a hay-burning lump the rest of the time. That would be rather hypocritical of me.
 
#11 ·
IlyTango,

I have read you post Why Do I Find a Problem with Her and this one.

I am a Dad and a Grandpa. I do not think it unreasonable for my children to come to me with any questions. Usually I ask questions back and let my children find the answers on their own.


  • If you could have control of Tango no matter what her energy level was, would you be happy with her?
  • If the answer is to the above is yes are you willing to put in the time and work to get her there?
  • If the answer to 1and 2 is no with Tango why would an additional horse with it’s problems change the situation?
  • If you had to save the money for the additional horse would it be worth it or would you be more willing to work with Tango?
  • If Tango was your perfect trail horse would you be happy to ride all over alone or is the additional horse needed to provide you with a riding companion?

I worked a year getting a horse like yours under control but now he is an absolute pleasure to ride.

Look at your opportunities:


  • A place where you can live and have horses.
  • A trail horse with lots of go.
  • Your sister’s two year old to train.
  • A Dad that can maybe show you how to harness and drive.
  • An area where you can ride for miles.

I have some things you can try on Tango if you are interested, let me know.

Grandpa Knickerbocker
 
#12 ·
I wish I could go trail riding! even if it for 10 minutes! I have two horses but my parents would NEVER let me go for a trail ride! And isn't it always better to ask and find the answer rather than always wondering what if? The worst thing that your dad would say was "no" And working with your sisters horse would be a fun expirience if your are careful and confidant working with her. But Im soo jealous you get to trail ride!! You dont know how lucky you are! But don't feel like a spoiled brat! All your doing is asking, And if they do say yes express lots of joy! lol
 
#13 ·
You want to come spend some time in TX? I spend nearly all day on horses and there is unlimited space here to ride (miles and miles of rural roads and pastures that I have access to). Plus I need someone to go with me in case one of my greenies bucks me off in the middle of nowhere LOL.

I don't think it would be unreasonable at all. Just tell them the truth about exactly why you want one, that you would like a more level horse that someone else could ride and go with you, or that you could pony off Tango to help keep her calm, or that you could ride when you need some true down time to just relax on the back of a horse and not have to work to keep control of. Make sure that you are mature about the conversation and not be too disappointed if they say no. However, it would be okay to be overjoyed if they said yes. Also, if you do get one and it is approximately the same size and body type as Tango, you wouldn't have to get new tack. I ride all my horses in the same saddle and bridle with no problems whatsoever. Although if you had someone ride with you, you would need another set :?.
 
#14 ·
I read all the posts but I'm still not 100% clear. Are you wanting another horse for yourself, or a companion to go riding with? If it's the former, as others have said no harm in asking. If it's the latter, why not find someone to board at your place and ride with?
 
#15 ·
Thank you all for the replies!

knickerb: I'd love to hear what suggestions you have for working with Tango! I have all summer off, I'm not working very much, and I am willing to put in as much time as needed with her.
Ray Macdonald: It's true I could work with my sister's horse, but 1) she's only 2, and shouldn't really be doing hard-core trail riding yet and 2) I'm not experienced enough to break a horse or even try to
smrobs: I would LOVE to come spend some time in Texas! Unfortunately, it's kinda far away...lol. I just wish there was someone who works like you do-spend all day in the saddle, riding long-distance and working those horses HARD. Everyone here just has horses as a hobby. There aren't any ranches or big farms, and everyone is a little leery when I say I want to be riding all day. Lazy ******s! XD
Indyhorse: I mostly just want a companion to go riding with, but I admit it would be nice, as smrobs said, to have an old quiet horse to just be able to relax on every once in a while. If I could find someone, say from the barn I take lessons from, to board here, I will definitely consider it. It would probably just be a lot of trouble.

I'm going to keep looking around, and for now just take her out alone. It's good for her to go out alone anyways, I'd just feel more secure if we had a buddy.
 
#16 ·
Gah! My parents can't take a hint! I just went and talked to them and told them I was a little apprehensive about getting too far away from home, how I really want someone to go with me etc etc...and the conversation just kinda trailed off with no solution. Maybe I will just have to bite the bullet and outright ask them...I'm so nervous, though everyone has just said it wouldn't be unreasonable at all for me to at least ask them about it.
 
#17 ·
I don't think it would be unreasonable. Just make sure they understand that this horse isn't going to just be a hay burner....It'll actually be used and ridden. Maybe bring up the point of selling one of the disused horses to make room?
 
#19 ·
Ok...I actually did it, and dad just said maybe in that gruff kind of way that he does when he's actually thinking about it. I'll give him a few days to mull it over, I suppose, so he can actually decide and so I'm not pestering him every day about it. No one except me in my family rides, and both parents are really proud of that and like to see me riding, so there is some hope. Fingers crossed, everyone! =)
 
#23 ·
ilyTango,



A fast walk with ears forward is a great thing going for you. When you feel that she is working herself up to change gait to the trot lift her head to hollow out her back to make it much harder to go into the trot. If you feel her ease up then drop you reins, figuratively speaking, and continue walking. If she does go into the trot lower her head, apply “light”, (the pressure you would get if you were holing your rein with your pinky finger,) pressure at first then continually and increasingly apply more steady pressure until the instant you feel her starting to drop back down to the walk then release all pressure. Figuratively speaking again, let go of your reins. I say “easy” as the first warning, light pressure as the second warning, and then down comes the hammer. Do this over and over and over. Once you get this going for you do it on the way home. It is a lot of work but eventually all you will have to do is lift your rein make a little contact and she will back down. When this is working for you at the walk work the same deal when she surges at the trot dropping pressure the instant she starts to slow down.

The cavalry stop is great for slowing and stopping a horse in a straight line.

I like to use a Tom Thumb bit with a curb strap. It gives the lift single rein action of a snaffle and also a two rein leveraged pull back if needed.


Grandpa Knickerbocker
 
#24 ·
Thanks, I'll be sure to try that. As long as she's relatively tired out she's pretty good about not speeding home, but when we first get out there and she's all spry and eager she always tries to speed up when we even point in that general direction, so...yeah, this should help.
 
#25 ·
Hmm...so my dad said, when I asked him again about it, that we'll wait and look around for a few months, that we're not going to just go out and buy the first thing we see etc...Coming from my dad, for whom months can easily turn into years with no action taken on the subject (=P) he's basically saying it's not a priority and he's not going to go out horse-shopping. I mean, at least he didn't outright say no. I guess there's still a chance if we ever saw a good one, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed. :(
 
#26 ·
The hard part now is going to be not bringing it up again and again. You can look around a bit, but don't bring it up endlessly, or he will be more inclined to say no. Coming from a parent, trust me on this. Just make sure he keeps seeing you ride Tango, maybe volunteer to work with his horses a bit. Let him know that you are committed and responsible and that will make it easier for him.
 
#27 ·
I wish you lived near me! Id love to go trail riding, Also my RI was just given a horse. She was called out to the owners place to massage him and then the owner asked if she could take him to her place and work on him for a few days and she said yes, after a few days the owner called her and said she could have him, because if he was coming to get the horse he was going to shoot him! And of course my RI couldnt let that happen! So she got a free horse!

But the bad part is she cant keep him (She has a barn full of horses) And he has some joint problems and is arena sour (She thinks he was overworked and over jumped) But a great trail horse! And hes the cutes appy!! Light brown with a rump if white and spots! He even has spots on his cute pink nose! And he is super friendly and nice! LOL Sorry about the rant! :)
 
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