I have a horse that hates bits and I can't find one that he likes. Right now I am using a correction bit but, I think it is to harsh on him.
So this horse is 12. When did you purchase him? Has he done this the whole time you have owned him?
Why do you have him in a correction bit at the moment?
Honestly, to me this sounds like you have a TRAINING issue with this horse .... not a bit issue.
He flicks his head up and down.
If he's been properly checked for a pain issue (dentist, chiro, vet, etc), then he has no reason to evade and fight the bit.
He has a training problem. He has not been trained to accept the bit correctly and/or he has developed bad habits over the years.
If you say that this horse was trained Western and was doing well with it, then it must be something YOU are doing wrong because the problem has started while you have had him. I don't mean that in a rude or offending sense, but the truth may be the truth.
I would use a hackamore but I do shows and they do not allow hackamores in shows unless they are green. I was thinking of one that had rubber on it so it would be softer for him.
I don't want something that is to soft because he just doesn't listen and runs away with me.
Again, sounds like you have a training
You have him in a correction bit, which is "too harsh", yet he throws his nose, and yet he'll run off with you in a snaffle (or something soft)? This horse has some serious holes
in his training, or he's been extremely spoiled.
I really need help! Which bit should I use for my horse???
Again, this is not a problem with a BIT. This is a problem with the horse's training and how he has been allowed to act.
I guess I'm confused as to why the trainer you are working with does not know how to fix this. I'd be finding another trainer.....
To me, this horse needs to be re-taught to respect and accept the bridle, and be soft and responsive. It doesn't matter what bit you put in his mouth; he should respect it all the same. I can try to explain over the internet ..... but somethings are hard to explain in text.