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Fear of riding?

5K views 26 replies 17 participants last post by  lauraa94x 
#1 ·
I have two nieces, and they are both excellent riders. They used to show together nearly every weekend! The oldest, Leanna, had a riding accident just last month. Her horse threw her into a fence and she hurt her arm real bad. The doctors have given her the 'OK, you can ride now' time and time again, but I haven't seen her in the saddle since February. She says she's afraid to canter again.
It's very important to both her mother and I that she rides again because not only is she a very skilled rider, but riding runs in the family, and she used to LOVE it before her fall. I keep telling her that even the most experienced of riders hurts themselves in a fall like that, but she simply wont listen. Any ideas for how I can get her back in the saddle, and fast??
 
#2 ·
I doubt it would be possible to do it fast. You can't force someone over a fear like that if you want a lasting recovery. I would suggest not putting any pressure on her; let her hang around with the horses first, grooming or leading or stroking them, then gradually work up to sitting on a horse again and getting off, walking in an arena, only trot when she's completely comfortable with walking and stuff. Don't expect her to suddenly ride at her previous skill level; let her get used to everything again.

And if she really doesn't want to ride again, you may have to just accept that - it would be a shame, but you don't want to make her hate riding by forcing her to do more than she's ready to do.
 
#3 ·
I don't have any.. specific advice, but I do have a story that relates to this & can probably help.

Two years ago, I was riding a very advanced horse my first week cantering. The first time another girl let me ride her horse while we cantered, so I didn't have to canter him. The rest of the week, I tried on my horse. He was stubborn and would NOT go. The last day of the week my instructor fallowed him and got him canteirng. Being the beginner I was, I fell right off.
My confidence wasn't messed with; I was okay with it. It'd just been too hard and I'd known I was going to fall.
For some reason, my instructor asked me to ride him again the next week. I was the only one riding him at all, and he was very hyper the first day. Going over some poles, he reared and off I went.
I switched horses and was fine for the rest of the week, but I didn't canter.
I switched onto a very smooth pony the next week and was excited to try and canter again. We were doing amazing until that Wednesday, another girl tried to pass me and our ponies raced. Mine got too excited and I fell. After that, I was done. No more cantering for me.
It was only the third week of the Summer, but I didn't canter again at all. For a while after that, I was terrified of cantering.
One day in a lesson, my instructor forced me to canter and though I was scared, I put up with it. I was too scared to realize how much I actually liked it and didn't canter again.
I began riding another horse, whom I stayed on for months and months. I trusted him so much and after I while, I decided to let him "take off" with me and cantered a few strides. The next week, I was begging to try it. We were whizzing around the ring by the end of the day- now cantering was all I wanted to do.
I had a few falls after that, but I knew I'd want to do it eventually so I kept getting back on. :)
 
#18 ·
I don't have any.. specific advice, but I do have a story that relates to this & can probably help.

Two years ago, I was riding a very advanced horse my first week cantering. The first time another girl let me ride her horse while we cantered, so I didn't have to canter him. The rest of the week, I tried on my horse. He was stubborn and would NOT go. The last day of the week my instructor fallowed him and got him canteirng. Being the beginner I was, I fell right off.
My confidence wasn't messed with; I was okay with it. It'd just been too hard and I'd known I was going to fall.
For some reason, my instructor asked me to ride him again the next week. I was the only one riding him at all, and he was very hyper the first day. Going over some poles, he reared and off I went.
I switched horses and was fine for the rest of the week, but I didn't canter.
I switched onto a very smooth pony the next week and was excited to try and canter again. We were doing amazing until that Wednesday, another girl tried to pass me and our ponies raced. Mine got too excited and I fell. After that, I was done. No more cantering for me.
It was only the third week of the Summer, but I didn't canter again at all. For a while after that, I was terrified of cantering.
One day in a lesson, my instructor forced me to canter and though I was scared, I put up with it. I was too scared to realize how much I actually liked it and didn't canter again.
I began riding another horse, whom I stayed on for months and months. I trusted him so much and after I while, I decided to let him "take off" with me and cantered a few strides. The next week, I was begging to try it. We were whizzing around the ring by the end of the day- now cantering was all I wanted to do.
I had a few falls after that, but I knew I'd want to do it eventually so I kept getting back on. :)
That's kinda like what happened to me. But I didn't fall off. I just gripped onto the saddle for dear life. I was terrified to ride more than a walk. I was so stressed everytime the instructor tried to get me to trott. But when I finally allowed them to get the horse to trott, I instantly was bugging to do it again. I had a bad scare the second time I ever rode a horse, you see. The horse kept bolting with me for a whole hour. I was very stressed by the end of the ride but I forced myself to get back on another horse. I just couldn't give up.
And here I am about 5 months later, trotting and walking and not stressing out every time the horse walks faster.. :)
I hope she gets better...
 
#5 ·
If I were you, I'd say, "Get on for ten minutes, alright?" Make sure she's on an easy horse. Be like, "Since your scared, you only have to stay on for ten minutes." And then after ten minutes, be like, "Alright, you've done your time. You can get off now." She'll realize she doesn't want to get off and won't. :D
 
#7 ·
yeah. And if she's like, "I don't wanna get off" be like, "But you said you were scared.." She'll want to prove you wrong. If she doesn't wanna stay on, just let her get off and keep building it up. Ten minutes walk one day. Twenty the next. Maybe just ten the next day but a little trotting. =]
 
#9 ·
If she is scared after a fall don't put her on any horse resembling the horse she fell from. e.g height, color etc.
Also please don't force her or pressure her. I had a bad fall once and terrified wasn't the word. I was beyond scared of getting back on a horse. (i broke all my ribs on one side and fractured a hip from the fall)
Well anyways i started working at another riding school/livery yard (didnt have my own horse) and my mum after a couple of months spoke to a lady with the quietest horse and asked her to get me back up... Well she casually told me 'whenever you wanna ride just say and you can ride lilly'
Im like ok yeah knowing i wasnt going too but one day after telling me i could ride she was riding the horse and i was like hey you said i could ride. Well the lady asked me to hold her stirup so she could get up on the horse and out of no where my mum gave me a leg up on there. It happened so fast i couldnt say no. The lady led me around on a lead rope till i said stop i feel like a baby and she took off the lead rope and i suddenly realised im doing this myself. After that you couldnt keep me off the horse :) just thought i would share.... might help. If not good luck
 
#10 ·
I would just give her time and let her work through her fears herself. Don't pressure her and don't ever disapprove. Even if she says that she just wants to groom a horse or lead them around. So long as she is around them, she will remember what it feels like to ride and eventually, she will want back up there. The worst thing a person can do is to force someone through a fear. That just concretes it in their mind and makes it harder to get over.
 
#11 ·
About a year and a half ago my mare threw, drug, and trampled me, and last January she fell on me... Both times I was extremely nervous of riding again, especially down hills (which didn't make sense considering both times the accidents happened there were no hills). It took months both times for me to relax... I just had to keep telling myself to trust my girl... it was hard and really nerve wracking, but after a few months I was much better.

Maybe it's just taking time...?
 
#13 ·
idk, but jst tell her that riding calls for getting hurt. (ive had my share of horse accedents) she jst needs to take it slow, like put her on a horse u no she trust, and then u jst go on a slow, fun trail ride with her, and u can slowly start to trot and then u can ask her if she wants to lope, jst slowly, of course. soon, she will be begging to go ride!
 
#16 ·
Do not even try to force her. It won't work.. Just leave her be about it, no nagging. You can tell her you know she is afraid and you won't ask her to ride, but that you are there for her if she wants to talk. Tell her if and when she is ready to try again to take baby steps. Starting with simply being around horses and working up to getting back on. One tiny step at a time.. It may take months..

Support her, but do not push her.
 
#17 ·
I agree with smrobs, just be supportive and accepting. If she rides again - great- if not - so be it. If she truely loved rideing before, the passion will come back once she builds her confidence back up.
However with that being said one way to maybe encourage her to get back on is maybe just a nice calm, slow pleasure ride with her sister, mom, and you. Nothing fast, just relax and enjoying the feel of the horse.
 
#19 ·
its normal for poeple to get scared. i think you should just let her work through it herself and if she still doesnt want to go riding suggest a quiet ride on a horse she can trust. if shes a good rider and she starts again slowly and quietly shell be back where she was in no time. just dont rush it or it will make matters worse. good luck!
 
#20 ·
I dont really know what to advise if I'm honest, but one of my good friends had a riding accident a couple of years ago whilst out on a hack. The 13.2hh pony she was riding (from the riding school) tripped in a pot-hole and she flew over his head, he then tripped again and landed on her. She has had a fractured spine for nearly two years now, was partially brain-damaged and is in pain pretty much all of the time. The doctors said that if she hadn't of been wearing her body protector, she wouldn't of been here today. When she looked at riding again and got the all clear from the doctors, she'd decided to go back to the riding school and start there. But the horse she LOVED and always rode before the accident, had been sold on to someone else. She found this horse, Chance, and got on him again. She did trot on him, but canter was too bouncy for her pelvis to handle (as it had shattered in the fall). But where any other rider who's been riding for most her life can just throw their leg over the saddle and be off, it took her about 5 minutes to dismount from him and that was 5minutes of alot of pain. The doctors have said that she may not be able to ride again soon as her spine is worse off than they originally thought. She may get down and upset by it, but she's more determined than ever to ride again. She's got this year planned and Chance's new owner is more than happy to let her ride him when she wants to. She's even planning to take him Cross-Country jumping this year! She proves that no matter what happens, if its what you love - just stay strong and go for it. I'm sure your oldest niece, Leanna, will be fine and ready to ride within time. Don't pressure her or force her to do things she's not ready for, maybe start her with groundwork with the horse that was involved in the accident - it might increase the trust between them? and when she's ready, start of with just a walk whilst riding him perhaps? and have someone walking next to them just to reasure her.
Hope it helps, and hope she's riding soon! x
 
#23 ·
Let her take it slow, go at her own pace. Offer encouragement but don't push.


I was in a car accident three years ago and I broke my spine in three places. Thankfully, I'm still walking, but I was stuck in a cast for a good six months. The only thing I could think about was riding. The first day I got my cast and the sedation wore off I was up and hobbling about, wanting to go see my horse already.

In spring, about a year later, I was finally able to ride my horse (Loki) again. Being Loki and not have been worked in forever, he became hot headed and hard mouthed. I went from happy to very, very frightened.


I got off, and didn't ride again until August of '08, and then only in a round pen. Needless to say, my attention span when it comes to riding in circles is extremely short and I became rather bored, rather fast. I wanted out! There was a field just beyond that barn that I wanted to ride in so badly.
After some more pen work I decided to try and take him out on a group trail ride. I made it a little past the barn when he spooked, backed into an apple tree, and bolted. When he spooked I tried to put to use what I had been told, turn him in a sharp circle, stay calm, just bring him under control. It didn't work and he ended up heading for home like his tail was on fire. With some heavy :)oops:) pulling and some loud 'WHOA' I brought him to a stop and got off. I was scared half to death and shaking hard.

I brought him back to the yard, chugged a soda, shed some stressy tears. Then lunged him, and did get back on. Though I rode only at a walk and some very light trotting. Needless to say, my confidence was shattered.


A while later I bought a yearling filly who needed some body work and love. While feeding her one evening, she got a little too excited and went off bucking. Two back hooves smacked into the stack of hay I was carrying. Poof. Confidence gone. Again.
I wasn't able to feed (dad helped) for days.
I did still groom her, work with her, I was just very, very careful. When she was back to a proper condition I sold her to a knowledgeable couple whom were looking for a younger horse to train.


Sammy has been a tremendous help with getting me 'back to normal'. He's very quite, gentlemen like, calm, and friendly. I feel safe around him. This is a big part of regaining confidence both in the saddle and on the ground. If you go in with inflated bravery you will probably come out broken and defeated (see my trail riding incident). Sammy is a horse I don't need to feel brave around, because I already feel safe. I can trust him.


I still am rather jumpy and easily frightened, though not to the same extent as before. If my filly would have a fit, my heart would race. If my three year old has a fit, I curb my temper and correct him, sometimes that old fright will creep in but I do my best to push it away.


Flying hooves are still a pretty big deal breaker for me. If anyone starts kicking, I'm outta there! Though I will admit, I'm getting better at it (slowly, but surely).


Give her something to trust. If I didn't have Sammy, I would probably be a nervous wreck by now. My younger two are high spirited and hot headed.
Sam takes it slow, which is exactly what my healing confidence needs. :)
 
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