Let her take it slow, go at her own pace. Offer encouragement but don't push.
I was in a car accident three years ago and I broke my spine in three places. Thankfully, I'm still walking, but I was stuck in a cast for a good six months. The only thing I could think about was riding. The first day I got my cast and the sedation wore off I was up and hobbling about, wanting to go see my horse already.
In spring, about a year later, I was finally able to ride my horse (Loki) again. Being Loki and not have been worked in forever, he became hot headed and hard mouthed. I went from happy to very, very frightened.
I got off, and didn't ride again until August of '08, and then only in a round pen. Needless to say, my attention span when it comes to riding in circles is extremely short and I became rather bored, rather fast. I wanted out! There was a field just beyond that barn that I wanted to ride in so badly.
After some more pen work I decided to try and take him out on a group trail ride. I made it a little past the barn when he spooked, backed into an apple tree, and bolted. When he spooked I tried to put to use what I had been told, turn him in a sharp circle, stay calm, just bring him under control. It didn't work and he ended up heading for home like his tail was on fire. With some heavy (
) pulling and some loud 'WHOA' I brought him to a stop and got off. I was scared half to death and shaking hard.
I brought him back to the yard, chugged a soda, shed some stressy tears. Then lunged him, and did get back on. Though I rode only at a walk and some very light trotting. Needless to say, my confidence was shattered.
A while later I bought a yearling filly who needed some body work and love. While feeding her one evening, she got a little too excited and went off bucking. Two back hooves smacked into the stack of hay I was carrying. Poof. Confidence gone. Again.
I wasn't able to feed (dad helped) for days.
I did still groom her, work with her, I was just very, very careful. When she was back to a proper condition I sold her to a knowledgeable couple whom were looking for a younger horse to train.
Sammy has been a tremendous help with getting me 'back to normal'. He's very quite, gentlemen like, calm, and friendly. I feel safe around him. This is a big part of regaining confidence both in the saddle and on the ground. If you go in with inflated bravery you will probably come out broken and defeated (see my trail riding incident). Sammy is a horse I don't need to feel brave around, because I already feel safe. I can trust him.
I still am rather jumpy and easily frightened, though not to the same extent as before. If my filly would have a fit, my heart would race. If my three year old has a fit, I curb my temper and correct him, sometimes that old fright will creep in but I do my best to push it away.
Flying hooves are still a pretty big deal breaker for me. If anyone starts kicking, I'm outta there! Though I will admit, I'm getting better at it (slowly, but surely).
Give her something to trust. If I didn't have Sammy, I would probably be a nervous wreck by now. My younger two are high spirited and hot headed.
Sam takes it slow, which is exactly what my healing confidence needs. :)