Do you argue with your instructor? - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #31 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 08:55 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NW WA
Posts: 610
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by Delfina View Post

Mine either says You are doing/or having problems with XXX, how do you think you should fix it? or You are having problems with XXX, I want you to try this to fix it and here's why.

So if I already know how (or think I know how) to fix the problem, I tell her and we try my way. If it flops, she then tells me her way to try and we do that. Or if I have no clue how to correct the problem, she'll give me something to try and explain why she thinks I should do that.
Mine does very similar. She has me working on side passes a lot right now and when his rear end lags behind, she asks me how I think I should fix it. Instead of saying yes or no, she says to try it and then evaluate how it worked.

When I don't understand something I stop right in the middle of the arena and ask her to explain it to me again. She can usually tell by the look on my face if I feel like she's pushing me or if I'm completely confused. I love turning on the foreend or hind quarters so when I really struggle on something she will throw a few of those in to ease my mind and then go back to whatever was confusing me.

Fowl Play is offline  
post #32 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 09:10 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,580
• Horses: 5
Originally Posted by Fowl Play View Post
In reading responses, I think that people are using argue and question interchangably.
Must say that I did think this also. I think arguing is counter productive and wastes good lesson time. To me argue suggests that you enter into a disagreement where two different points of view are debated with neither party willing to compromise or understand what the other is trying to say.

Questioning however is an integral part of learning when done in a respectful manner.

It sounds to me like your instructor speaks in a disrespectful way which is guaranteed to ruffle a few feathers, I know I would be very unimpressed just like you. I also find whenever ANYONE in ANY field tries to justify their qualifications by saying things like "I train with the highest level of riding instructors" or "I used to ride competition with so and so (insert shameless name dropping here)" it is usually because they are full of s**t. People who are genuinely the best in their field will never justify themselves by who they have trained/ridden WITH.

Hope you can find a solution to this as it sounds like a great environment minus the trainer!

All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.
sarahver is offline  
post #33 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 09:23 AM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eventing Country
Posts: 8,220
• Horses: 0
I stand by Spyder and Allison's posts.

MyBoyPuck, I get the feeling you are being pressured and bullied. My heart goes out to you, you are in a pickle for sure.

I'm fortunate enough, to have that freedom. When I moved to the Hunter/Jumper barn I am currently at, being an Eventer - I was not impressed with the available "coaches" on the premesis.

I couldn't afford the Eventing Facility at $500 a month, so this was my only option at $350 a month. I was able to bring my own coach in, thankfully. I couldn't waste my money on what was there, and that wasn't acceptable to me.


I just want to stress to those who are reading - and to those who are not fortunate enough to have a coach who is functional and educated....PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO VOICE YOURSELF!!!

Unfortunately, at our levels, there are more coaches out there who shouldn't be coaching, in compareson to those who truely are educated and experienced. So sadly, yes - the majority are riding under coaches who are uneducated, teaching the uneducated.

So please, please, ask questions. Ask WHY!! Ask your coach to explain themselves and ask your coach to give you the desired outcome in words and actions.

Do not be scared to voice your opinions and your hesitations! Don't be scared to ask questions.

YOU are spending your money, or your parents are - and it saddens me that people are permitting their coaches to have this "power" over them, when in reality - it is YOU who has the power.

Stand up for yourselves. Stand up for your education, and your horse!! STAND UP and SPEAK UP!

MIEventer is offline  
post #34 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 12:07 PM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 23,909
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by Allison Finch View Post
Your new instructor sounds like she has a very shallow knowledge of her job. Maybe she has done what her trainers said without ever LEARNING the whys.
I LOVE how you put it. I run into number of trainers, who were probably taught what they try to teach when they were riders. But have no knowledge behind that, and in fact can't deal when situation is not typical.
A REALLY GOOD instructor is a diamond hard to find.

I don't argue with my current instructor, because I truly think she's great. Not just teaching (that even the dumb person like me understands ), but also explaining why you have to move this way and not that based on the skeleton, movement, and balance. However I ask lots of questions, some not easy to answer (just a habit, I usually can't proceed with something without the complete understanding of reasoning behind it).

Also another (old) instructor I started to take lessons again with tells me all the time I'm wrong, my horse doesn't go right, etc. While it's not pleasant to hear of course, it's a truth I have to deal with. She tells me HOW to deal with it though with explanation of why it'll help. So I'd never even think to argue with her.

However there are instructors out there who are plain bad - don't teach you anything, can't answer questions, etc. Then I just try and leave, arguing won't take you anywhere.

kitten_Val is offline  
post #35 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 12:12 PM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 5,471
• Horses: 3
Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck View Post
For starters, I'm not talking world class instructors where you dress in proper attire and show complete respect at all times. I'm just asking, with your average lesson or show barn instructor, do you ever argue or challenge his or her instructions? By argue, I do not mean rant and rave and carry on like a child, simply question the advice being given.

So back to original question, do you ever argue with your trainer?
Are you saying that an instructor that is not 'world class' does not deserve respect???? EVERYONE deserves respect. EVERYONE.

As far as arguing, no. Never. I don't question but I will ASK questions. I am very much a why person. But I would never argue with a professional.
mls is offline  
post #36 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 12:49 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere on Vancouver Island
Posts: 602
• Horses: 0
I have my own place and my boarders hire what ever trainer they want.......the only stipulation is the trainer must be respectful of the other trainers that come and a barn owner I would never impose my trainer on anyone else.

Super Nova
Super Nova is offline  
post #37 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 01:06 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Witbank, South Africa
Posts: 2,681
• Horses: 2
Lol oh yes!

We have "fights" all the time. But in the end they both know best, so I always do what they say as long as it sounds good and right :)

Every girl wants their own LOVE STORY, I found mine... :)
LoveStory10 is offline  
post #38 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 01:40 PM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 23,909
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by mls View Post
Are you saying that an instructor that is not 'world class' does not deserve respect???? EVERYONE deserves respect. EVERYONE.
Respect as a person yes, respect as an instructor (and I mean knowledge and ability to teach) not always. I've seen "instructors" out there not knowing how to ride and being afraid of horses. Also 'world class' riders can be very poor instructors. With that being said arguing is not a right way to go in any case.

kitten_Val is offline  
post #39 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 06:38 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 8,176
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by mls View Post
Are you saying that an instructor that is not 'world class' does not deserve respect???? EVERYONE deserves respect. EVERYONE.
I am talking about respect within the discipline, not general respect for a person. Respect within any area of study is earned, not an entitlement. A world class rider who has competed at the highest levels has earned respect. His or her success has shown a proven track record. Jane Q barn owner who hangs out a shingle and calls herself a trainer has some foundation that needs to be built before respect can be earned.

You just have to see your don't have to like it.
MyBoyPuck is offline  
post #40 of 56 Old 05-17-2010, 07:37 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,621
• Horses: 0
I don't think blind faith in another human being is ever wise.
ponyboy is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Gift For Instructor vivache Horse Tack and Equipment 17 03-30-2010 09:04 PM
Time for a New Instructor.. vivache Horse Riding & Horse Activity 4 03-28-2010 12:56 PM
Do you think and instructor would let me? Would You Kindly Horse Talk 7 03-09-2010 09:36 PM
I'm going to be an instructor!!!! BurningAmber520 Horse Talk 5 07-03-2009 09:29 PM
Is anyone on here an instructor? heartscontent English Riding 9 01-23-2009 08:11 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome