Relationship advice on Horse Forum!? - Page 5 - The Horse Forum
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post #41 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 11:44 AM
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Hold up- " Polyamoury doesn't have to be about sexual intimacy, it can be emotional, or sexual, or both. That said, I have a sex drive for my other partner.. "

Turns out I was right the first time. This guy is footing the bills, another man gets the thrills, and he needs therapy for balking and fussing?

Hayal naw. Maybe this therapist will at least convince him to wise up.
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post #42 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by aubie View Post
Hold up- " Polyamoury doesn't have to be about sexual intimacy, it can be emotional, or sexual, or both. That said, I have a sex drive for my other partner.. "

Turns out I was right the first time. This guy is footing the bills, another man gets the thrills, and he needs therapy for balking and fussing?

Hayal naw. Maybe this therapist will at least convince him to wise up.

Sounds like someone needs serious professional help to me..

Don't blame the one guy for putting up a fuss when he's paying the bills and she's having sex with someone else.

Something is seriously wrong with that picture.
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post #43 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 12:10 PM
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When you find someone that you truly love then there is no room for any other romantic or sexual relationships in your life.
Relationships/marriages based on 'convenience' rather than love only work if both partners are singing from the same page rather than one of them only going along with it to try to keep the other one happy.
If you continue on this current route, at some point your fianc will find someone who does love him and want him and only him and you won't see him for the dust cloud as he runs away

Just winging it is not a plan
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post #44 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mythilus View Post
SueC, thank you so much for your thought provoking post. Another round of questions to answer;


Whinnie:
I have to admit I am confused how someone can be polyamorous with zero sex drive. Am I not understanding some definitions here?
Polyamoury doesn't have to be about sexual intimacy, it can be emotional, or sexual, or both. That said, I have a sex drive for my other partner..
It appears as though you are having sex with one guy and expecting the other to support you financially. I think it is only fair that you let him go. It may be that you are giving him mixed signals abut loving him when maybe it is the financial support you love. It also appears he is not OK with no sex. Did you discuss your lack of sexual interest with him when you were first together 5 1/2 years ago? Has he really been OK with it for all these years?

At any rate, looks like you two are not on the same page and he is acting out, but I kind of don't blame him.
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post #45 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 12:33 PM
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Save your money you'll be spending for a divorce later down the road, and leave.

To each their own regarding polyamorous relationships.

If you're not happy with the guy, break it off.

Ride more, worry less.
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post #46 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 07:32 PM
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Ah, the clot thickens...

It does sound to me like your fiance is being emotionally abusive and that there is no good excuse for that. And that as much as he may intend & 'try' to change now, realistically, this very rarely happens long term.

I for one don't believe a committed, loving, respectful relationship must be exclusive to all but a couple. I know 3 separate long term, great, strong relationships that are either 'open' or trios. However, it doesnt sound like this is one of those, and while I wouldnt excuse the abuse, I can well sympathize with fiance's angst & frustration, if that us behind it.
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Some info I've found helpful; [COLOR=Lime][B]www.horseforum.com/horse-health/hoof-lameness-info-horse-owners-89836/
For taking critique pics; [COLOR=Lime][B]https://www.horseforum.com/members/41...res-128437.jpg
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post #47 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 08:55 PM
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You're gonna leave without the house?
I didn't know women did that.
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post #48 of 72 Old 01-02-2019, 09:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Celeste View Post
Sure, Dolly Parton's husband put up with it, but she is rich.

She also has a couple of other really nice assets, just sayin....
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For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
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post #49 of 72 Old 01-03-2019, 12:12 AM Thread Starter
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Honestly, I think my lack of sex drive toward my fiance was because of the nonsense he was pulling.

Eventual breeder of fine horses

Last edited by horselovinguy; 01-03-2019 at 01:58 PM. Reason: better word choice
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post #50 of 72 Old 01-03-2019, 12:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Mythilus View Post
Honestly, I think my lack of sex drive toward my fiance was because of the nonsense he was pulling.

Actually being sexually attracted to someone who reminds you of your violent caregivers would be a whole different kettle of psychotherapy!
AnitaAnne likes this.

SueC is time travelling.

Last edited by horselovinguy; 01-03-2019 at 01:59 PM.
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