So, around six weeks ago, I had my first, fairly bad fall off my horse which resulted in a cracked rib along with a lingering pain in the shoulder area. Throughout those six weeks of recovery, I couldn't wait until I got back onto my horse so I could continue on with lessons/general riding. But things didn't seem to go as smoothly as I was hoping.
So I got on today (probably my third or fourth time of getting on after recovering) and felt completely overwhelmed with my horse not listening to me. I felt completely out of control, like I was bouncing all over the place and just generally felt/looked awful. Now I know people say you must take it slow after getting back on after a bad fall and that nerves are to be expected, I just have the issue with that I didn't feel particularly nervous at all. All I felt was frustration and, after Sophie began to canter multiple times when I asked for trot, I got off of her and felt so overwhelmed that I was on the verge of tears.
I guess what I'm asking for is just advice on how to properly handle this weird feeling of frustration I get when my horse seems to be taking advantage of the fact that I'm not 100% up on my game yet. I know that she doesn't have an excessive amount of energy as she is regularly ridden by mother (close to daily, if not every second day) so I can't help but feel like I've lost all of my ability. Has anyone else had that before? Is it just my mind playing tricks on me?
I'm unsure if it's related to my fall but I highly doubt it was because I didn't fall off in the school. I decided to ride Sophie back to her stable bareback but, instead of her walking back, she broke into a canter and I panicked. I tried to box her into a corner as I could feel myself slipping but, of course, she went right and I went left. From there I collided with a wooden fence post which had a metal bolt sticking out of it (So blessed that my injury wasn't worse). Obviously I know where I went wrong and I don't hold much blame against Sophie as it was mainly a rider error which caused the issue I just really don't understand why I had this overwhelming amount of frustration fill me so rapidly when Sophie began to not listen to me at all.
Literally any suggestions/tips are welcome because Sophie and I were making so much progress before the fall and now I feel like I'm completely back to square one again.