I lost my best and brightest over 2 1/2 years ago. He was with me for 21 years, and that's longer than a lot of marriages. We were a lot like an old married couple, too; grumped at each other, but wouldn't know what to do without the other!
I will miss him until the day I die although I can
talk about him now, and laugh at some of the silly things he did and what an ornery, opinionated little cuss he was his entire life.
There are some days when the pain of his loss is just as fresh and new as the day I lost him. Other times, and these are more and more frequent, I rejoice his life and my part in it, not the loss of his death.
I understood Kevin's response, and I think he was reacting to your comment that you can't talk about your horse without getting depressed and teary eyed. After so many years you should at least be able to laugh about and appreciate the good times you had, not continuously dwell on his loss.
It's okay to miss them and occasionally grieve deeply for them. It's not okay to never
be able to remember the joy, and only think of the sorrow of their passing.