I'm actually more comfortable with my farrier correcting an obnoxious horse because he knows exactly when he needs to reprimand and when he needs to just hold what he's got for a minute until the horse calms down. He can feel exactly what the horse is doing, I can't so I can't be sure exactly when or how much correction is needed.
For an example, I had my farrier come over and put shoes on a customer horse about a week ago. I was told that the horse would stand for the farrier, but the owner failed to mention that the horse would only stand when he
felt like it. If he didn't feel like standing calmly, he would lean and pull and "walk" the farrier all over the place. This horse wasn't afraid and trying to get away, he was spoiled and being obnoxious. A couple of firm jabs to the ribs from the farrier with the handles of his nippers and the horse straightened right up and stood still for the other 3 feet.
HOWEVER, a farrier just whacking the crap out of an already wary/frightened horse repeatedly the very first time he works on him is not
I'm a firm believer that is one of the biggest reasons why a good farrier is hard to find. Not only do they need to be hoof experts, but they also need to be horsemen. They need to be able to recognize when a horse is frightened and needs a bit of calm and gentle handling to prepare him and they also need to be able to recognize when a horse has been spoiled and needs to be corrected.
OP, I would be looking for a different farrier immediately. The fact that this guy lost his cool is the biggest red flag for me. Getting angry around any horse will never accomplish anything except ruining the horse and getting someone hurt. Talk with your friend and find out if their farrier is willing to come help you out. In the meantime, work with your horse...a LOT. Get him more comfortable with his feet being handled a bit roughly. Do not
pussy-foot around him because that's not going to help him at all. Pick them up and hold them the same way a farrier would...not only picking them up to see the bottom as you would to pick the feet out. Like this
But you also need to pick them up the way a farrier would to finish the job, like this
Also, twist and pull around on his feet, bang on them with a metal tool, reach up and touch him all over with a free hand whenever you've got a foot picked up so that he gets comfortable having his shoulder/belly/hip touched when someone is underneath him.