Am I being too overprotective? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 11:31 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
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Question Am I being too overprotective?

So I am feeling incredibly torn...

I got back from my vacation on the east coast to and was fairly frustrated to find my horse was not cared for properly with very easy step by step instructions.

The person doing the care while I was gone is the same person who has been feeling every morning with what I set out the night before for them.

she would have gone through a whole bale of hay and had not (not sure if she didn't want to eat as well cause she has started more pasture turnout).

She did not inform me my horse's allergies got much worse, and the least of my concern but still a slight issue, she didn't properly clean her paddock and I ended up taking four very full wheelbarrows of solid manure out.

Having been on self care this year I feel like maybe I am overreacting but I find that I am just still upset about it.

I also feel like I am question her care as I just got an offer from a local trainer in the area to come to her new barn where there is pasture boarding for the same price I am paying now and even though I pay for the hay and grain like I do now she would do the feeding (unless we later agree I work off some training sessions a week with her)

The gal who has been doing my morning feedings/care while on vacation also worked my girl while I was gone and upon me arriving home, I can not tie her without her going into a blind panic and breaking the tie and acting like I'm going to beat her. She gets better every day but I feel this is such a major step back. When I asked how the rides where going she promptly told me she is working on collection with her and I was shocked as this five year old doesn't even have 90 days under saddle on her and that's not my focus but relaxation, suppleness through her whole body in a soft stretchy place and just getting all three gates on her.

When I went to ride her the other day she didn't even want to put the bit in her mouth. I just feel I am really questioning everything right now and feeling guilty about that.

Now the final part of all this is I feel mixed/weird because in 3 months I will be moving her and I across the country to our new home.

Do I stick it out and have okay-ish care or do I arrange for her to be moved. (should I like the place after seeing it tomorrow)

Picture of G because she is so cute.
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Arc De Triumphe 5 Yr TB B GMillie 26 YR Morgan/QH B M "
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post #2 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 12:02 PM
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I would move the horse.
Take the control away from what is to what can be...
You see the horses at the trainers facility and how they are handled and interacted with.
Do any of them do as your horse is now doing after "how many days in this persons care??"
Yea, no....
Simple instructions to follow and common sense horsemanship escaped your helper...
I would not want any further follow-up or handling by said person to my animal...
The damages are done and going to be long time to undo and longer if ever she forget what was done to her to create reactions like you now have.

Explain to, make certain the trainer of the facility you want to go to understands this is not a long duration but short-lived boarding simply because you are moving out of state....not like you jumped to go to a different trainers facility...
Home is home...
But, if the trainer is going to work with the horse, surely under their eyes watching and easy access should benefit the horse with professional handling taking the lead done.
I would be gone...not a second to soon either.
In fact, packed and gone tonight as tomorrow is the first of a new month...
If the person who handled was the B/O then she knows what occurred for you to vacate.
If the person is not the B/O, then a detailed explanation and possible a part of the months board should be given...
B/O did not do the wrong if they are just the innocent...
If they though are the culprit...then gone and my comment out the door would slam the door tightly behind me.

The worst day is instantly better when shared with my horse.....
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post #3 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 12:10 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, Yeah I just was so frustrated.

October can not come soon enough LOL for the move that is to PA.

I will be seeing the new place tomorrow afternoon and having a phone call tonight with the new BO.

I already explained everything that happened and she is also appalled to why any of that happened.

I guess I am just hurt cause when I care for my animals or others I make no short cuts, take the time and if need be I will ask questions to be sure.

I think I am also highly sensitive due to the fact my last horse was so very abused and ended up having to be euthanized due to how bad he had it and though I don't spoil G rotten and treat her like a delicate flower I also am hyper aware of her body/mental state everyday.

Arc De Triumphe 5 Yr TB B GMillie 26 YR Morgan/QH B M "
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post #4 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 12:40 PM
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I would be very upset about the whole "collection" thing! You cannot push a horse past its limits. It will lose confidence and trust in its rider and any positive training will be lost. I've had that very thing happen to an OTTB I was retraining. I had made amazing progress and my instructor pushed him too far and I lost all of the gains I had made! There's nothing wrong with being your horses advocate!
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post #5 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 12:45 PM
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Move. Even for those few months. It is obvious that the person caring for G and riding her does not have her best interest in mind.
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post #6 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 12:58 PM
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Your horse is telling you something and best to listen to her. These things like the tying up happened suddenly while you were away means something happened to her.
As far as collection, the person didn't actually say what she was doing and I know that working on collection with a green horse, as far as I am concerned, could be very slight, minor changes (such as a change in seat and weight) but you need to clarify what she did with the horse especially if it was against your wishes.
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post #7 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 03:10 PM
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I would absolutely move. Even if it's temporary, definitely move. You will be doing your horse & yourself a favor. I hope it works out!
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Ride more, worry less.
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post #8 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you all, truly! Like I said it helps feeling validated in this situation.

I check the place out tomorrow so I will keep you all posted!
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Arc De Triumphe 5 Yr TB B GMillie 26 YR Morgan/QH B M "
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post #9 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 03:42 PM
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Correct me if I’m wrong, but this person was only looking after your horse while you were away?
So now that you’re back and can oversee everything, including only being ridden by you, then why not wait out the few months? It’s a lot of stress on a horse to move, especially then having to move again. If you have control over her care, make yourself clear that you have it from now on and stay the summer. If you think there’s maltreatment if she stays, then it’s prob a good idea to consider moving.
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post #10 of 17 Old 06-30-2020, 04:19 PM Thread Starter
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Saigold, No they are doing all my Am feedings and have been helping me in the past since she (G) arrived with her so waiting is just going to have the same issues or build on them.
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Arc De Triumphe 5 Yr TB B GMillie 26 YR Morgan/QH B M "
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