Am I in the wrong here? -honest opinions please- - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 07:24 AM
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GRRRRR! I agree that I would be looking for a better/new barn. This witch is just making it miserable for you, which is not why we have horses. Does she interfere with all the boarders like this? Are there any other "minors" there? Just curious, since with 40 some horses, I would guess there are others around too......how does she treat them?
As a mom, I would be all over this lady like flies on S*&T if she was treating my daughter like this. Pretty sure my hubby would also find it worth the asthma attack to go to the barn in this instance.....enlist the help of mom and dad, but would not come down on this BO until I had all my ducks in a row and was ready to move-NOW.
Good luck, and hang in there......

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post #12 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 07:49 AM
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It does not sound like this barn is the right fit for you. Time to find a new one.

But I think that is pretty obvious to you.

I can see no reason to stay at a barn where the barn owner/manager and you do not get along about just about everything.




I actually agree with her change in feed plan though. Upping the alfalfa and lowering the filler hay probably would have helped the weight issue.
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post #13 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 08:01 AM
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I don't think you're in the wrong at all. I could go down point by point and explain why, but here's the bottom line.

You wrote: It's making the barn not an enjoyable place

If you aren't enjoying it, it's not working for you - no matter what the reasons. It's time to find a place you can enjoy.
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post #14 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 08:03 AM
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You are not in the wrong. BO is being unreasonable, power tripping. Even if this particular issue resolves, another will crop up. I would be surprised if that barn doesn't have a high rate of boarder turn over.
I can't believe she was mad that you showed up during the fire.
I would definitely be looking for another barn. It is not worth the emotional upset to you to stay. Best of luck!
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post #15 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 11:54 AM
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Maybe I'm just a hot-head, but I would be outta that place so fast, the BO wouldn't even have known what happened. I'm quite a bit like you-I want to be nice with everyone and avoid conflict, but when you get me angry...watch out. She has a problem with you being under age? Fine, get your parents to talk to her. I know both my parents, anyways, would NOT stand for any of that.

I've never boarded, so I don't know what all the contract agreements are or anything, but as far as I'm concerned, it's your horse, you own it, you decide what it eats, what training it gets etc. I would move, no questions asked. Of course, that's just me. Do what you feel is right.


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post #16 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 12:02 PM
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Move. It's a bad fit for both you and your horse for myriad reasons.

No sense crying over it all, because that will get you nowhere.

Do your research, find a different barn, and get that horse out of there.

Both of you will be much happier.
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post #17 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 12:33 PM
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Um, hello, who better to show up to take care of their horse during a stressful time than the human who is bonded to them?? While I can see why she might not want you there at the barn during the fire (another person to account for) ultimately, you have every right and my applause for taking care of your horse when it was surely scared.


I agree with the poster who said that when this issue is resolved, another will crop up. Dreading going to see your horse has to be torture..... I still think you should stand up to her and remind her that she works for you and if possible find a happy place to keep your horse.

"Equine-facilitated therapy employs a form of biofeedback for practicing self-awareness, emotional management, and relationship skills that human role-playing exercises and discussion groups cannot begin to access." Linda Kohanov (The Tao of Equus)
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post #18 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 12:50 PM
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First - was the feed plan laid out for you when you moved to this barn?

Second - Fire - you are a minor and I would guess it was a safety thing. We've had various types of storms and I will say that the animals tend to be calmer WITHOUT an over anxious owner fretting over them.

Third - Rude is generally an individual thing. example - Some folks will say not waving hello is rude while someone else would say the person was merely minding their own business. She may see it as rude that you are going to someone else for advice instead of the person you are paying to care for your horse.

Lastly - please remember she is dealing with 40 horses. My guess would be 20+ individuals. If everyone wanted changes for their horse, it would tend to make a person testy.
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post #19 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 01:27 PM
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I would like to say I commend you for being 17 and such a hard working young adult. Secondly this woman chose to open her barn and accept people to pay her for their horses to be there so in a way, her barn becomes everyone who is paying her's barn as well. If you are paying her, she is sort of working for you, that was her choice and she should realize that a nasty attitude in business will cost her money. Don't feel sad and don't waste your time being angry or trying to change her, take your horse and your money elsewhere and chalk it up to a life experience. You did nothing wrong, and if she wants to be rude and disrespectful to you that is her own loss. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, pick yourself up and brush off the dust and find a new place and this time stand your ground from the get go - if something bothers you address it immediately. Keep in mind you are paying for this service, they are not doing you a favor. When you pay for a service you have the right to have it meet your expectations. This is just business so don't take it personal. In the future keep it that way, a business transaction - be friendly but don't get walked on.
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post #20 of 51 Old 08-31-2010, 01:39 PM
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Keep all the texts from her and you. Now, move immediately to another barn and get away from the stress. Until you move, have your parents accompany you to the barn when you go and have them step in if the BO decides to try to intimidate you, which she will. Do not let her touch your horse, do not let her feed your horse. You need to figure out a way to do your own feeding and always have a parent with you when you do.
You sound like a very mature teen, but sometimes a parent that is "visable" will make power playing Bo step off the high horse. Sometimes a person like this enjoys pushing their knowledge and power on a younger person, even to the point of texting, or replying in text to a parent that "your child did this and this and doesn't know what they are talking about" to not saying a word or back off when your parent is in person, not over a phone or text. Brave until faced with a ****ed off parent.
Move as soon as you can. Safer for both of you, I always worry when I hear of bad stuff going on that the horse can be made to suffer in an "accident".
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