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post #21 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 12:17 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Montana
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Are there other barns you can move to? Horses and the barn are supposed to be a place and hobby that we enjoy.
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post #22 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 12:25 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kentucky
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Ahem....we ALL still need to be taking lessons and learning!

We have a saying in endurance “Ride Your Own Horse”..... it means, don’t get caught up in the flow of the pack mentality, because your horse may not be in the same condition as them, and they will go on with the pack until they drop dead. So pay attention to your own horse. Do what needs to be done for your horse (stop for water, slow down, let him eat....).

This is also true for your life.

I don't break horses, I FIX them!
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post #23 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 12:25 PM
Join Date: Apr 2015
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I think you should read @Tihannah thread about Finding North. She had similar issues with an old trainer not liking her getting a young TB - she has had some unfortunate accidents but still loves this young horse and he looks awesome. Some people get an idea in their head of what horse should be used for "X" discipline that they get tunnel vision. I would not think that if it is an open show that the trainer can stop you from showing.

This was many years ago but something quite similar. My 2 sisters and I belonged to an equestrian 4-H club, run by a lady that owned a boarding facility and gave lessons. My family was not as fortunate as others - and our horses were all either freebies or cost next to nothing. We had a trailer that my Dad made (yes you read that right) and that my Mom pulled with a station wagon (yep - a green one with the wood grain sides) My sisters and I rode in every class we could (English, western and speed events) we got to take lessons when my parents could afford it (so a few times per year) and we went to shows when my parents could afford it. Our 4-H leader HATED a horse my sister bought with her own money. my sister was super proud of this horse and worked so hard with him. But he was an Arab - that she rode western, English and ran speed events with. The 4-H leader went so far as to say that my sister could not bring him to her barn for lessons or to shows at her barn - she did not like Arab's - well my sister being our mother's daughter took that as a challenge and worked hard. And I am happy to say that on more than one occasion they mopped the floor with her snooty quarter horses and occasional warmblood. Not every show but often enough that people offered to pick them up to take them to shows that the 4-H leader was at just to see that 4-H leader clench her teeth.

What I am saying is - you ride what you want - work hard - and enjoy your horse. No one can take that away from you - ignore them and move on.
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post #24 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 02:08 PM
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 5,699
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I think you have to figure out what kind of person you are and what you need, and go from there.

People tend to give advice based largely on what would work well for their own personality. I say this because I got YEARS of "let it roll off", "they aren't worth it", "they just find you intimidating", "beat them at their own game", "just ignore them and have fun". And none of this advice was worth spit. Because I simply do not have a thick skin and I never have and I never will. Those who do, tend to think it is something you can just create at will, but that isn't how it works. I am who I am, and I have to protect myself differently.

However, it does sound very very obvious that this trainer and the people she collects around her are extremely juvenile and are not worth spending the slightest amount of energy on. Ditch them. Sure, everyone makes observations about everyone else, but a mature person's comments are judicious and with the knowledge that they don't know all the facts. Hang with older riders who have a good rep and you'll find they don't make a lot of wild comments, no matter what they might think.

I don't poop on people behind their backs, not because I'm a nice person (I'm really not), but because I know, just from living on the earth awhile, that that behavior will end up shaming you and hurting you, as well as others, in the end.

Short horse lover
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post #25 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 02:23 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MD
Posts: 16,091
• Horses: 1
Sorry this has happened to you.
My old trainer, who I knew for YEARS...turned on me, & started talking crap & creating drama. I had to leave that barn.

I was at another barn, & there was drama there too...I wasn't involved in it, but I always just went, hungout with my horse/rode, then went home. Didn't talk to anyone really.

I try not to get too close to people, for that exact reason. The place I'm at now, there's no drama, but I don't even get involved with people too closely because honestly, I'm only there for my horse. Nobody else.

I would just keep enjoying and riding your horse...everything else is just background noise. :) Think of it as a good thing they blocked you...they can't creep on you (hopefully).

Ride more, worry less.
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post #26 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 02:32 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 6,176
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My first and second horses were Arabians. I got a lot of flack at boarding barns for owning Arabians.

One day I realized two things.

1. The people that spoke the worst about Arabians being "crazy" were people that didn't even ride their own horses outside an arena!

2. The proof is in the pudding. I rode those Arabians all over city streets, about 1/2 the time by myself, and they took good care of me.

After that I decided that my horses only had to please ME. They didn't have to please anyone else. They are MY horses, and as long as I am happy with them and feel safe on them, that's all that counts.

I had another instance some years later on my Mustang. A lady I rode with was griping about how slow he was (he did walk slow). And then she followed up with a comment like "but don't sell him on my account." How rude is THAT? That was the best horse I ever owned. I didn't say anything but what I was thinking was "I will quit riding with YOU before I ever sell this horse."

Riding the Mustang was awesome because HE was awesome. I rode with a friend with $10,000 horses and my Mustang was never outclassed. He was every bit as good and any of hers and she knew it. She even borrowed him when she had guests.

So a good policy to adopt is "My horse only has to please ME."

PS. Another thing is, no matter what breed you own, there will be someone out there who doesn't like it. I've owned Arabians, the Mustang, Fox Trotters, etc. There is always someone out there who will dislike your horse simply because it's not their breed of choice. I really don't understand it because I see beauty in almost all breeds, but other people seem to stick blinders on and stick to one favorite breed.
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post #27 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 02:51 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SW UK
Posts: 14,573
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Originally Posted by ChasingTheDream View Post
She just turned 18. The more I look back at her methods she is not at all qualified to teach. She’s a PHENOMENAL rider. She’s been riding her entire life but she’s still needs to be taking lessons and learning.
I had to snigger at this!

Through my teens I competed locally, on the Island. I never had great horses to ride as I usually had remedials to ride but, I won more than my fair share.

Local people thought I was God's gift to horse competitions and I thought I was good - not great just good. When I went away to work on th emainland I realised I wasn't such a phenomenal rider, just average and I would expect the same of your trainer.
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post #28 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 02:53 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 46,817
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Originally Posted by Avna View Post
I don't poop on people behind their backs, not because I'm a nice person (I'm really not), but because I know, just from living on the earth awhile, that that behavior will end up shaming you and hurting you, as well as others, in the end.

well said.

I really dislike gossip. When I'm talking about someone, or what their horse did or how they rode, or what they are feeding , or how they almost got kicked, or . . . blabbity blabbity blah . . . whatever interesting thing I feel I just HAVE to say to someone, it has a high potential to become 'gossip'. So, without meaning to, I have now gossiped! Gol darn it! . I'm just guilty of talking about people , to other people, about other people . . . and . . what goes around, comes around.

As I get older (and older and older . . . . ) I'm getting better and better at just NOT saying what my brain tells me I MUST say. Nonsense! I don't have to say all that. I can do a . . ." K.I.T.Y" (my code word).
I can just Keep It To Myself.

I literally can say to my noisy brain, " kitty, kitty, kitty", and that helps remind me that I need not say what my chatty brain thinks I should.
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post #29 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 03:06 PM
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Gulf Coast
Posts: 2,363
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What @carshon said is true. My old trainer wouldn't even let me talk to her about getting a TB. They were crazy, tight-backed horses that were terrible at dressage. So...I moved to another barn and started working with another trainer who loves TBs and owns 2 herself. BUT... I didn't kill my relationship with my old trainer.

In January, I took him over to my old barn for a clinic my old trainer was hosting with a very respected trainer. He loved my TB, did not have enough good things to say about him, and said it was THE BEST he's ever seen me ridden. Now my old trainer has changed her view and welcomes us over to her place to school and has even offered to start doing lessons with us again. I could've told her a hundred times over that my horse was amazing, but it had to come from someone that knew more than both of us.

You can't MAKE people like your horse or see what you see in him. All you can do is continue to learn and grow and improve yourself and your horse. If your current situation is not beneficial to both of you, then I would definitely consider other options. Trainers are supposed to work towards bringing out the best in both of you, and if they're not willing to even try, then they're not worth your time and money.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
- Maya Angelou
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post #30 of 45 Old 03-11-2019, 03:32 PM
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Alabama
Posts: 149
• Horses: 4
I've come to learn in my old age, it don't matter what breed you ride, if you're happy with your horse and he or she does as you expect, then to heck with what other people think or say!! One thing I can say, we have our horses on our own property, so we don't have to deal with all the drama. We have friends that ride TB, QH, and one that has a mixture of horses, including a Clydy. We don't judge or talk bad about folks just because we ride TWH, We just love and cherish all breeds majesty. If everybody in the world liked just one breed, then there wouldn't be much variety in the different disciplines of horsemanship.
The good Lord put horses on this planet for a reason. They have helped humans to evolve into a domesticated society. For centuries, they have been by our sides, getting the job done.
Keep on riding, and as I said in my earlier post, change barns, change instructors, whatever, but keep on riding Your horse, cause nothing else matters...
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The silent communication with horses. A trust that can't be bought, earned, or convinced, you are either their kind or your not..
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