Barn Gossip - Page 5 - The Horse Forum
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post #41 of 45 Old 03-14-2019, 02:48 PM
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,458
• Horses: 3
Social media just makes this stuff so much worse - I am thankful I didn't grow up in a time when FB and all those other things were around.

I think most people have had to deal with a situation similar to this at some point in their lives. I never had to deal with barn gossip, as I moved my horses to my own property when I was able to. And as a teen the barn I was boarding at was tiny and had very little of that stuff.

As an adult I've had to deal with that sort of BS at my work. I am not an emotional person, but some days I would almost be in tears at the end of the day. For my professional career i felt I had to stick it out...and just be the bigger person. Eventually the person who was responsible for most of the bad-talking got knocked up and left. And never came back. The other individual stopped as she had lost her gossip buddy.

I'm sure there is still some chatter behind my back, but I"m at the age now that i really don't care and I just worry about doing my job and doing it properly.

I am not going to lie - I know i have been guilty of gossiping about people. I have learned as I have gotten older that it normally isn't any of my business and to just keep my mouth shut. Plus, kharma is a *itch.

I hope in your situation, these girls get their heads out of their bums...or perhaps you will have to look at moving to a different barn. Sounds like your trainer is acting like a child herself.
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post #42 of 45 Old 03-14-2019, 07:41 PM
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Hawaii
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[QUOTE=Colt17;1970692379]I was looking for this yesterday to post and just found. I have had to deal with my own "horse people" BS recently so feel for you situation. Try to find a good mentor to help, you need someone to lean on. My ferrier has helped me.
Theodore Roosevelt:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Had to clean up the cut and paste errors
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post #43 of 45 Old 03-14-2019, 09:36 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 8,362
• Horses: 1
If you know that your horse will be well cared for and the facilities are good, then it might be ok to stay.

You need a real trainer/coach.

Then you need to beat all those other girls in every show that they enter.

"He who laughs last, laughs best."

"With friends like that, who needs enemies?"

It sounds like they are jealous. Prove them right. Prove that (as they seem to know) your horse is so good that they feel inclined to talk bad about you because they are jealous jerks.

I keep my circle of friends small intentionally.
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Carpe Diem!
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post #44 of 45 Old 04-08-2019, 09:12 PM
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 49
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I completely agree with Knave and I'm stealing that saying!

Unfortunately, people are judgemental and gossip. I don't think I've ever been in a barn where there wasn't gossip or ever seen one person at the barn that wasn't gossipped about!

What I've realized is their gossip rarely has very much to do with me at all but more to do with their experiences, how they feel about themselves and most of all their egos.

Feel sorry for them because it sounds to me that they feel guilty and are just trying to lick their wounds via gossiping about you. Always rise above it and don't give them another thought about why they do it. It has nothing to do with you because if they weren't gossiping about you they would be about someone else and now they will have to find out who their next gossip victim will be since you aren't there. It's the nature of people and always will be. Half will love everything you do and half will always find a reason to knock you down and think their ideas are better and you should do everything their way. Then when they get everything their way, they still aren't happy. Just be happy with you and the decisions you make, as long as you are and you believe in yourself you can't go wrong.
RegalCharm and Celeste like this.

There is no such thing as an untraining animal. 60% of training/maintaining is training the owner first. 40% is the owner's consistency with what they've trained. The other 20% depends on the horse's history. Unfortunately, they're are untrainable people.
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post #45 of 45 Old 04-10-2019, 04:16 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 13,258
• Horses: 5
Originally Posted by DreamerR View Post
So after talking to my friend from the rescue barn. Apparently the barn owner, and trainer are talking dirty about me and my horse. It came to my attention when half the show team blocked me on social media.

They are saying that “I had no right to take him and he’s gonna be uncontrollable since he’s an ottb” keep in mind they have never met an ottb in their life.

My OTTB has already proved himself to me. He’s so sweet and willing and he just want to please us and make us happy. My other horse has slammed me into jumps time and time again.

Has anyone ever dealt with gossip like this before? It really bothers me that they are all talking about my OTTB and I when they really have no idea what they’re talking about. And it really hurts because I considered my trainer a friend and she has been my role model my entire life and my inspiration, and now she’s saying all these nasty things about me and my horse? Any advice?
I find there are always 2 sides to a story and things never just happen out of nowhere. The best anyone can do in gossiping situations is just to ignore it and not get involved in it and rise above it. Don't allow such childish behaviour to get to you.
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