Bond between you & your horse? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 11:14 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Just south of sanity
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Originally Posted by petitepyromaniac View Post
I just want to know if my poor relationship with my horse is normal. I keep thinking the rest of you have wonderful relationships with your horses...
Petite, it sounds as if you've just come to the end of the relationship. Not all relationships are for life.

I have good relationships with my horses, although I lost the one with whom I had the strongest bond. I don't think I'll ever feel that way again, but it doesn't mean I don't love the ones who are left.

If riding your horse is no longer fun, I'd say it's time to sell her to someone else.

Horses are luxury items and extremely expensive to keep properly. I say if it's no longer fun for either of you, there's no sense in keeping her.

It'll be better if you sell her and find another horse who suits you. After all, we pay so much out in time, emotion, and money on these animals, it doesn't make any sense to continue unless we enjoy it.
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post #12 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: West US
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Thank you SOOOOOO much everyone! It's really been inspiring to read all of your posts. I really appreciate everyone's support that you've given me! It's really helping! I have someone who's interested in buying her... I think the hardest part is going to be saying goodbye. But they seem like a great home where she'll be very happy. Once that's done, I really do hope to find a horse that I can truly bond with, and enjoy riding again!
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post #13 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 12:08 PM
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Location: Georgia
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Originally Posted by petitepyromaniac View Post
Thank you SOOOOOO much everyone! It's really been inspiring to read all of your posts. I really appreciate everyone's support that you've given me! It's really helping! I have someone who's interested in buying her... I think the hardest part is going to be saying goodbye. But they seem like a great home where she'll be very happy. Once that's done, I really do hope to find a horse that I can truly bond with, and enjoy riding again!
Good luck horse shopping! Glad your horse is going to a good home :].

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...
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post #14 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 12:43 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Alberta, Canada
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Lol i've been through a butt-load of horses trying to find the "right one" & you know what? i think i finally have & it was the last horse i expected to really like.
My 16-yr-old Arab mare Chico, who i've owned for 2 years now isn't a "loving" horse. She doesn't enjoy being around people (especially me) unless i've got food & normally this attitude in a horse would bother me but for some funny reason it doesnt with her. She doesn't run from me but will walk away when i go to catch her simply to see if i'll keep trying ha ha!
She's got ZERO patience & doesn't enjoy being groomed at all. I think she finds the whole business tedious.
She doesn't like scratches or cuddles but i'll say i've never found a horse i've clicked with better when im in the saddle. And that's saying something because she had some issues with bucking & bolting when i first got her. But It was all a matter of sticking it out & "breaking the ice" with her. After she saw that i wasn't going to give up like her past owners did, she did a complete 360 & now there isn't a horse i enjoy more!

"If a horse fails to do something that is because he was not trained to do it. If a horse fails to do something properly that is because he was not trained properly."
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post #15 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 06:33 PM
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Location: Northern Wisconsin
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The bond that me and Lakota have is literally unbreakable. We were both very untrusting of each other and we still sometimes have those moments of uncertainty where we have to pause before doing what the other one wants. Lakota came from an abusive situation and I had had bad experiences with the horses before him. I've had him since early-mid July and we're at the pint where he follows me everywhere yet when I tell him to "ho" and then proceed to walk around him, he stays put. I've also crawled under his stomach while he was free in the pasture and I've done it in the cross ties and he will not move a muscle. He's put his trust in me to protect him and keep him safe. I've started to trust him a lot more too.

I understand where you're coming from though. I can ride horses for my trainer but unless I have a "connection" with them, I don't have fun riding them. Its a weird thing about me I guess.

To see the wind's power, the rain's cleansing, and the sun's radiant life, one need only to look at the horse.
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post #16 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 07:39 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
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I have a wonderful friendship with my horse. Which is kind of ironic because it was not love at first sight, I just had to have him because he was pretty. It took a long time for us to warm up to each other and start to get along. I wouldn't trade him for anything now, though. I got the impression that he didn't get a lot of one-on-one attention at his first home. I think he just needed someone to take the time and understand his devious little mind. ;D I know him better than I know myself.

If you feel that your horse would do better with someone else, by all means find her a new home. It's not fun for either of you if you don't click. I think you'll be much happier with a horse you connect with. :)

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968

Last edited by Jessabel; 10-22-2010 at 07:44 PM.
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post #17 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 08:46 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eventing Country
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I believe that our horses choose us, instead of the other way around. I believe that every single being *humans, animals* that come into our lives, come into our lives for a reason - to give us life lessons and gifts that we need, so that we can be that much more complete to move forward on our paths.

Gifts and life lessons that we can take, that make us that much more better of a person than what we were before our paths crossed.

So, with your horse, I believe that your horse has come into your life for a reason - to give you gifts that you needed that could only be given by her, and lessons that you needed, that could only be given by her - and now that your paths have come to an end, she is ready to move on to the next person, so that she can give them gifts that they need - because she has a purpose. A purpose to teach, to give and to love.

My previous horse, was an amazing horse. I loved him dearly, but we just didn't "click" all the time. I had an Animal Communicator come out and read him, and she ended up not only uncovering alot of his past, knowing things she should of known, and shedding light on the situation. He told her, that his time with me was done, and his purpose was to teach. He said I knew all that he could give me, and he must beable to move onto the next person, so that he could teach them.

He is now, at a local barn being a lesson horse. And he couldn't be any more happier than what he is now. He said he is serving his purpose. What he was meant to do.

Nelson, my now current horse - he and I have such a strong bond, it is unbelievable! We have been together for 3 years and we are inseperable. We've been through alot together.

I cannot explain the bond we have, but people at my barn tell me, that when I show up, his eyes light up. I've also had friends, coaches and clinitians ride him, and not beable to do what I am able to do. I've had a 3* eventer tell me that he is a difficult ride and that I make it look easy. I don't believe it has to do with "skill" because I honestly don't have any...I believe it is because of how close we are and the relationship we have between one another.

He's my best friend, my soul mate. My Husband says to me all the time, that I love Nelson more than I do him.

I accept him for who he is, and I know he accepts me for who I am. I can't really explain what it is, or what this bond is - but I know it's there.

I had the same Animal Communicator do a reading on Nelson when I first got him 3 years ago, and she told me a very sad story. A story that I was able to confirm with people who knew him and knew his story. A story that she should of not known - but yet she did.

She told me what I needed and I did the best I could - I just showed him that I loved him and that our relationship was more than just riding. I showed interest in him, his personality, his likes, his dislikes and I did my best to prove to him that I truely cared for him. I had to prove to him that humans weren't all that bad.

3 years later, not that long ago, the same animal communicator came back and the first thing she said to me was "This horse will do anything for you"

So if you are feeling something whenever you are around your horse, don't second guess it, don't discredit it - because you are probobly feeling vibes from your horse, with what they are trying to tell you. Listen, listen closely. 9 x out of 10 you wont be wrong.

If you are feeling that it is time for this relationship to end, then that's what it is. Your horse gave you all she can, and now it's time for her to move on, so that she can bestow her gifts to another person who is fortunate enough to have her in their lives.

Last edited by MIEventer; 10-22-2010 at 08:48 PM.
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post #18 of 22 Old 10-22-2010, 08:57 PM
Green Broke
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Beautifully put MIE. I also believe that certain horses come into your life , at a particular time for a reason. I believe that horses make their choices before the human does. T was certainly like that. A very dear friend noticed this before I did. T had chosen me. She was always willing to do whatever I asked and gave it her all. I'm grateful for my friend for pointing out what should have been obvious to me.

Wow, that was quite romantic of me, I'm usually pretty matter of fact. Like T, I must be getter soft in my old age.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!".
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post #19 of 22 Old 10-23-2010, 01:45 PM
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I feel the same about bonding with your animals. I went and looked at a horse last weekend and even though I was excited about seeing him and thought he was a pretty boy in the pictures, when I got there and rode him around, it just didn't feel right. His personality didn't click with mine, and maybe it was the environment he was in, but I felt after spending an hour with him that he just wasn't the one, I was sad to leave without him, but there is no use in spending money and wasting your time or the horses time if he/she doesn't fit with you. Just like any animal, you have to have that bond or it won't work.

"A stubborn horse walks behind you, an impatient horse walks in front of you, but a noble companion walks beside you."
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post #20 of 22 Old 10-23-2010, 03:12 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Northern California
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I agree with Citrus' comments. You and your horse learned from each other and as you feel you are not enjoying riding with your mare, your choice to find a new horse is understandable. Tell your mare that you are looking for a new home for her where she will be happy and treated well. One of the things we forget is to tell our horses what is going on.
I worked with a newly donated therapeutic riding horse who just looked totally depressed. Once I found out that he had only had one other owner, I was able to let him know that he had done nothing wrong and his old owners thought he would be happy here. I let him know that the therapeutic riding home he was at now was his new forever home and that his job was to help kids whose bodies didn't work very well, get better. I called the therapeutic riding owner the next day to see if there was any change and she told me it was like he was a different horse. He was interested in everything and followed her into the barn and wanted attention and was a very outgoing and loving horse.
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bond , horse , relationship , sell

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