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Complete lifestyle change?

3K views 31 replies 13 participants last post by  Hali 
#1 ·
Warning - this will be long!

I'm 20. I've been out of school for 3 years and have a government desk job - I.e. stable, good flexible working arrangements, and good pay. I also have three horses and two dogs of my own. I ride during the week and compete most weekends. I also snowboard in winter.

I HATE my job. it is mind numbingly boring, I have no interest in the department I work in (Planning). I only came here because my mum used to work here and that made it easy. I started here one week out of school, so I never really had a break. I'm the youngest in the office and only get along with one other person who has horses. I have trouble motivating myself to do my work and have been 'warned' (Not officially, just chats) about focussing on my work more. I go through good and bad stages in regards to that.

I recently broke up with my bf of a bit over a year. I have one really good best friend who I ride with, and a few other riding friends. I don't really have friends outside of horses as I just don't have time. Mark (My ex) and I are having a good go at staying friends and it is working out so far.

So the crux of the matter - I live in a small city. There are no opportunities here for advancement in agriculture or the equine industry (I.e. schooling) and the area is flooded with wannabe horse trainers and professionals. I hate my job and hate feeling like i'm not working toward anything and have no idea what the future will bring. I really love working with my horses and working on improving my training. I feel like i'm stuck here, stagnant, and if I don't do something soon i'll either be stuck here or fired from my job. I've had a really bad few weeks/months, breaking up with Mark, and a few other things. My mum was diagnosed with diabetes and I have a family history of heart disease on my dad's side - it worries me that my current job just has me sitting around all day and is no good for my health. Add in my horses and I don't have time to do any meaningful excercise or prepare good food. I want an active, outside job, for enjoyment and also health benefits.

I'm considering going to an ag college next year to complete the Cert III in Horse Husbandry. Tocal is the college I would go to and it is about 6 hours from here. The course is a year long and I would have to live in. Tuition and board equal about $11,500 for the year.

So I guess these are the cons:

I have zero savings at the moment due to a few things including buying my saddle last year for $4,000 and snow-related expenses. They are all behind me so I would have a good few months to save.

If I did this, it would mean selling both Bundy and Latte at the end of this year. This really kills me. I had always intended to sell Bundy but there is still so much more I want to do on him - Win a champion working, become Novice drafters... There is no one here that I could leave him with that could continue his standard of training without having to pay them. I could sell him now for about $9,000/$10,000, which would go a long way to financing this. I would have to put a lot of solid work into Latte to get her going farily kindly, and I could probably sell her as a project pony for maybe $2,000/$3,000 - $1,000 of which would go back to her actual owner. I was planning on keeping her for a few years and seeing how she turns out as I really love her personality.

I would also be leaving my dogs behind - I have never been without a dog my whole life. I would probably have to sell or find a home for a year for Skip - otherwise she will just sit in her pen at the farm and never get any excercise. That woudl kill me - We bred her and she was born two days before my birthday. I've had her my whole life. Rambo is my heart dog - I just love. I put so much work and time into him with obedience training and taking him out and he is very loyal to me and is perfect to take away camping - the first dog I have had like this. He would stay at home as we also own his brother who belongs to my mum. But without me here he wouldn't get out for walks or go to competitions.

I have just spent close to $2,000 on new snowboarding equipment, and if I did this, I wouldn't be able to go the snow except for maybe a week in the school holidays time.

I don't know what I would do without my best friend - I am very shy and not very good at making new friends or making small talk with strangers. It has been me and her for about six years now. She is the only friend I have who I can talk to about everything. We ride together, compete together. Her dad lives interstate and her mym isn't horsey so she is pretty much a member of our family - Dad takes us everywhere and it is pretty much as if we were sisters.

I would miss out on competeing - not as big a con, as I am cutting back a bit now, but I am just getting into campdrafting and Bundy is a horse who could really take me a long way. Our ASH shows are really coming together as well.

It would leave our PC a bit high and dry and myself and another mum are the only instructors, and it would all fall to her.

I would also be leaving the only home I can remember - i've lived here since I was 4 and I love it. It is such a good mix of city and country.

Okay - Pros:

The course sounds amazing. They run a herd of ASH (My breed of choice) and you get a green broke horse to ride for the first semester, and if you are deemed capable, a younger horse to break in for the remainder of the year. There is a stock horse challenge at the end of the year to show off what we have acheived. The course is at least 50% practical and there is lots of work experience throughout Australia and overseas. It covers just about every facet of the horse industry and can be continued into a diploma of agriculture or used as credit toward a uni course. Most graduates are employed immediately.

There are numerous scolarships available and not lots of students - About 60% of students get some kind of scolarship.

I guess i'm just looking for some input... What would you do? have you done something similar?
 
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#2 ·
I can't really offer advice because I'm not sure I could sell a couple horses and leave my dogs behind to go off to college. I think it would probably be something that you ended up being really glad you did, but also something that will be hard....

I can't really offer you advice but if you are a strong person, I think it will put you more towards where you want to be in the future... AND, at 20, if you are going to make a change, now is the time to do it.... You've got nothing to loose....
 
#4 ·
I think it would probably be something that you ended up being really glad you did, but also something that will be hard....
That's what I think too. The horses won't bother me immensly, as i'm used to selling and I did buy both with the intention of selling. There is just a lot I still wanted to do... Wildey can stay at the RDA place so i'll still have him when I come back. He's the one I wouldn't/couldn't sell.

Leaving my dogs will be the hardest I think. I've never been without pets, and I just adore Rambo, and he is so loyal to me. Selling Skip would be hard - What do you think the chances are of someone taking on a dog for a year and then giving it back? probably very low :[

Gah. I guess I have a lot of time to think about it. The college have open days in July so I will go have a look and see what I think.
 
#5 ·
Here's what I think. If you were planning on selling Bundy, just go ahead and do it. You can put that money in your savings account and keep it in mind for school. Once its in the bank, it can only collect interest.

About Latte and the rest--why not wait a year, put more work into her, get her really going as far as her potential is concerned, see what she can actually do, and then sell her? Tocal will always be there, as will the courses you want to take. Do whatever it is you've been dying to do, get that last bit of fun in, and then go for the long haul.

I was in a similar situation to you....I wanted to go to a private college like 4000 miles away from home. For 4 years it would have cost me 100k, and I would have had to rely on student loans for the majority of it....but they had a great campus, an equestrian team, I REALLY wanted this school. I ended up not going because I got a 75% scholarship to an in state school. But a year later I dropped out. I think about how amazingly different my life could have been if I would have just gone to school there....I could have been graduating next year!

I'm not overly bitter for it, I did come across some amazing opportunities, staying in Florida actually lead me to buying a horse and to HF, as well as picking out my current profession of vet tech.

If nothing else, one more years salary will help you get an extra bit of savings in so you may not have to go without some things.
 
#6 ·
I don't want to sell Bundy yet unless I have to - I.e. going to Tocal. If I keep him and do what I had intended (Get him better performed at ASH shows and campdrafts) then I will be able to get $10,000 or more for him. The I can keep some for savings and use the rest to buy my next horse. That's how I afford horses - I buy one, sell it for more, buy another, more expensive one, sell it for more, and on it goes. He is about the third horse in the chain. Otherwise I wouldn't beable to afford quality horses. So I want to get the maximum return possible. (It makes me feel very cold hearted talking about my horses as profit makers, but it really is the only way I can get where I want with horses - I have been trying to buy a good quality ASH mare with the breeding I want for about 5 years but haven't been able to afford it).

I'm fairly certain that if I do it I want to do it next year. I get the feeling that if I stay here and in this job something will come to a head. I also have the least 'attachments' now than I have had in a while. Breaking up with Mark, while devastating, has also led me to want to do something for myself while i'm not obligated or attached to anyone. If I stayed for a year and happened to meet someone, I know I wouldn't be willing to leave to go do this.

I can save a fair amount of money now - Most birthdays and other expenses are behind me. I'm sure I will have enough money from saving + selling Bundy that I would be able to do this without having to go into debt. My parents are also willing to give me loans if needed, so I wouldn't be relying on a bank. I spent 2 years paying off my car ($16,000) so I am not in a hurry to go back into debt.

I think this is a good time to do it as I have little expenses - My horses and my car and $100 a fortnight in board. If I leave it too long I want to move out, and then I will have either rent or a mortgage to deal with as well. As hard as the though is of leaving, I think if i'm going to do it, it has to be now.
 
#7 ·
Wild_spot, I understand where you coming from. I actually got expelled from High School because I skipped school everyday to go riding. Apparently if you miss three weeks of school in a row, they boot you... I went several months of showing up one day of the three weeks! But yeah, it really messed me up college wise, and career wise.

I ended up with a job that I hated, and ended up having to sell my horse and I lost my dog after my parents booted me out of the house.

I guess my advice would be, if you kept your horses, how happy would you be about your life continuing the way it is? It doesn't sound like you are happy with the government job, do you have other job options that would allow you to keep your animals? Can you find a different job that would be more stimulating?

Sometimes sacrifices have to be made to better your life. Think of your long term goals, and what the steps would be to achieve them. It would be sad to have to sell your animals, but you wouldn't be the first person to have to do that. Think of how much happier you would be in the long run if you pursued your college and career goals, and then had your animals afterwards. You'd have a job you loved, as well as the animals you love. Unfortunately, not the exact same animals :(

I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but I would be in favor of going to college, even though it means giving up a lot. I understand the benefits of your life as it is, but I think you would be a lot happier in a job you enjoyed, even if you do have to give up some of the things you enjoy right now. You don't want the years to pass you by while you sit in the same job you hate, just living for the weekends.

By the way, there are lots of student loans you can look into, including ones that pay for living expenses. I think you would still have a full and rich life at college, even if it would be different from the one you have now.
 
#8 ·
Hey, I had such a similar situation when I was deciding what to do about going to Uni. I was living over an hour from Melbourne (where Uni was) and couldn't bear to sell my horses. So I compromised: I took Uni part time for a couple of years which allowed me to work around 30 hours a week plus keep my three horses in training. It was the greatest life ever! My job paid well, I did well at school and most importantly I got to keep competing (mind you, there were many 4:00am starts in freezing cold winters but I never begrudged it).

Is there any way you could do something like that and maybe keep one of your horses to take with you? If you are anything like me a life without a horse would be dull and empty. Admittedly it takes longer to finish when you study part time however if you have a reasonable job while you study you may find yourself ahead of the rat race when you graduate as you will have meaningful work experience, unlike a typical undergraduate.
 
#9 ·
I think you should go to school. You will have to make some sacrifices now, but once you have finished, your life will be improved. If you stay and do nothing...you will stay miserable and wishing for more. So in the big picture, you would have sacrificed more by not going. I also think that it would be very difficult for you to find someone to keep your dog for a year (unless some family member would). I think your time would be better spent finding your dog a very good home where he can be happy. As for your friend, with all the technology available today, there is no reason why you can't chat with her often. Besides, you will be going to school with people with the same interests as yourself...a great opportunity to make new friends. I know that you will make the right decision and that you will be successful in life.
 
#10 ·
Is there any way you could do something like that and maybe keep one of your horses to take with you? If you are anything like me a life without a horse would be dull and empty. Admittedly it takes longer to finish when you study part time however if you have a reasonable job while you study you may find yourself ahead of the rat race when you graduate as you will have meaningful work experience, unlike a typical undergraduate.
Tocal is quite a bit different to a Uni - I don't think there are any part time or distance education options for this course, unfortunately. However, it is also a good thing, as I don't know how well I would motivate myself outside of the environment.

I've thought of renting a place nearby and not living in, and taking my dogs and one horse with me - but that would be really, really expensive and without an income I don't think I could afford it.

I guess my advice would be, if you kept your horses, how happy would you be about your life continuing the way it is? It doesn't sound like you are happy with the government job, do you have other job options that would allow you to keep your animals? Can you find a different job that would be more stimulating?
you hit the nail on the head. I want something to change because I am miserable in my job. There are only limited opportunities for jobs I would enjoy here - And a lot of them are on a roster which would put paid to a lot of my competeing. I applied for a job at the local tack shop a week ago but I didn't even get a call for an interview which really suprised me and did upset me. I have a lot of horse experience and numerous awards for my service to Pony Club and the horse community in Canberra. It's hard where I live - We are too small a city to have universities big enough to offer the lesser patronised courses such as agriculture, but we are too big to have many agriculture based jobs going.

Thank you guys for your responses, you've given me some good things to mull over. It's definitely a big choice.
 
#11 ·
I think you should go to school. You will have to make some sacrifices now, but once you have finished, your life will be improved. If you stay and do nothing...you will stay miserable and wishing for more. So in the big picture, you would have sacrificed more by not going. I also think that it would be very difficult for you to find someone to keep your dog for a year (unless some family member would). I think your time would be better spent finding your dog a very good home where he can be happy. As for your friend, with all the technology available today, there is no reason why you can't chat with her often. Besides, you will be going to school with people with the same interests as yourself...a great opportunity to make new friends. I know that you will make the right decision and that you will be successful in life.
I missed yours!

I think if I didn't have the animals it would be an easy choice. But it just kills me to think about selling Skip - I do know it would be ebst for her, as she doesn't get the time she deserves even now, but I couldn't imagine going out to the horses and not having her there. *Don't cry at work - Don't cry at work*
 
#12 ·
I think if you don't do it now in ten years the horses will be gone the dogs will be gone and you will have a child on each hip and wish that you had done it. When you are young and unattached you should follow your dreams. I wish you were in the states. I would gladly take your dog for a year then give it back. I'm sure you can find someone that would do it there. If you can't there will be other dogs. Life is too short to spend it in a job you hate. I had a good opportunity that I passed up ten years ago to do something that I enjoy and I just now got another opportunity at it and you bet I didn't pass it up this time.
 
#14 ·
She's a Kelpie, bred out of two of dad's working dogs. She has done a bit of sheep work and is ok when she has another dog to follow but mostly comes with me on trail rides.

I think if you don't do it now in ten years the horses will be gone the dogs will be gone and you will have a child on each hip and wish that you had done it. When you are young and unattached you should follow your dreams. I wish you were in the states. I would gladly take your dog for a year then give it back. I'm sure you can find someone that would do it there. If you can't there will be other dogs. Life is too short to spend it in a job you hate. I had a good opportunity that I passed up ten years ago to do something that I enjoy and I just now got another opportunity at it and you bet I didn't pass it up this time.
Thanks Kevin. I definitely think now is the time to do it while I don't have many obligations.
 
#15 ·
She's a Kelpie, bred out of two of dad's working dogs. She has done a bit of sheep work and is ok when she has another dog to follow but mostly comes with me on trail rides.

.

If you can't find a home for her ship her to me. I'll put her to work.
 
#17 ·
I think if I didn't have the animals it would be an easy choice. But it just kills me to think about selling Skip - I do know it would be ebst for her, as she doesn't get the time she deserves even now, but I couldn't imagine going out to the horses and not having her there. *Don't cry at work - Don't cry at work*


Awww, I'm sorry hun. I hope I didn't come off as being cold about the dog. I do have pets, so I do understand how you feel. It is very hard to give up something you love. I just think a door is about to open up for you and that you need to go for it. I think Kevin said it best:

I think if you don't do it now in ten years the horses will be gone the dogs will be gone and you will have a child on each hip and wish that you had done it. When you are young and unattached you should follow your dreams.


 
#18 ·
Oh, you didn't come off cold at all! I'm just having an emotional day.

I actually forgot the most important thing - I would miss my dad terribly. He takes me wherever I want to go every weekend to horse things, and some of the best memories I have are sitting around the fire with him and just chatting. I can't even imagine not having him there to sound things off.
 
#19 ·
Hmmmm I don't know on this one. I was keen to get into the equine industry when I finished school, but soon realised there's not much money in it unless you are truly amazing and the best in your field. And even then it's a hard slog to earn anything unless you're in racing!
That is a lot of money for a one year horse husbandry course. I don't think I could justify doing that myself.
Have you looked into any university courses? I am doing environmental management, which gets me out doing a heap of field work. There are lots of agricultural and environmental courses now that are in demand with all this climate change and too many people around the world. Graduates are in high demand and you have an excellent chance of getting work at the end of it, plus a lot of the work is field based so it will get you out of the office.

I know the feeling of going straight from school into an office job. I was the same, I had a week from the end of year 12 exams to starting full time clerical work. Then I had a gap year before uni and worked THREE jobs, 2 clerical and one customer service. HATED it! Was glad to get to uni!

I think you need to think more about the future than now. Look hard into uni or even Tafe courses that you could get into, that would set you up for a well paying job that would allow room to expand and get promoted. The horse industry is a very tough one to get into if you want money.
If you go to uni, you can still have time to be riding, and working. I do it full time and have Hugo in full work, and also work on weekends, and keep my drawings business going. You may also be eligible for youth allowance which depending on your circumstances can be quite good money. Mine is certainly helping to pay for my horse and car!! Plus you certainly wouldn't need to sell your dog. Depends where your nearest uni is of course, but you can rent with a couple of students and live pretty cheaply while you get through it. Agist your horse nearby etc.
It's do-able!!

But yeah, I'd think very deeply about doing an equine husbandry course, even if people get scholarships from it... maybe look into how much they're earning, who employs them, and if they're employed at all!
 
#20 ·
Thank you for that Kayty, great post.

I've thought about Uni, but i'm hesitant. I'm quite smart (Not to brag) but I really had trouble in school with concentration and motivating myself to get my work done. I have the same issues at my current job. I hope that I would be different if the subject was something I had an interest in, but I don't know if going back to a more 'school' type environment would bring that out again - if it did, it would be a waste of a lot of money and time. Canberra has two universities but no courses related to Agriculture, so I would either have to move or do it by distance education - And I think I would be even worse via distance as I wouldn't have anyone over my shoulder, so to speak.

That's why I think this course would be a better fit - it is over 50% practical work, and I would be living on campus. I think if I were to succeed back at school anywhere, it would be there. If I enjoyed the course and wanted to stay on, I could go into the Diploma of Agriculture with credit. If I did that, it can then be used as credit for a Degree in Agriculture at a Univeristy. I guess this course would either be chalked up to a good experience and look good if I wanted to work in the horse industry when i'm done, or a stepping stone into further, broader studies maybe leading to a job in Agriculture.

I guess the thought of enrolling for a uni course and then failing really scares me. I also have quite a low UAI due to my not so great performance at school which would limit my options - 65.4.

*

However, I'm not sure if it can happen how I want now. I mentioned it to my dad last night and he reminded me that him and mum are going on a big holiday at the begginning of next year for about 3 months - They need me to be home to look after the dogs. I'm going to sound out my cousin who lives a 10 minute walk away and see if she wuld maybe be interested, but if no one can do it then I don't think I could go. Which I honestly think might mean I never do as you never know what will happen in a year and a half. I'll be really dissapointed if that's the case though.
 
#21 ·
I don't want to be rude to your parents, but I don't think you should put your life and ambitions on hold for dogs. As much as you and your parents might have a great relationship, you are a grown woman and you can't be held back just because they need a dog sitter. They have many months where they could work out other arrangements, maybe even having a couple different people take turns keeping the dogs.

You aren't being selfish for wanting to go to school, it's something that will further your career and improve your quality of life. You are a grown woman, and sooner or later you will need to move out, and become independent of your family. The longer you wait to do it, the harder it is to do. If you wait another year (or more) to start on this, that's even more time until you reach your goals, and another year of wasting away at a job you don't like.

You need to do this for you, to take control of your life, and do the things in life that you want to do. Don't sit back and wait to see where life takes you, be proactive and make it take you where you want to go.
 
#22 ·
Not rude at all, Ptvintage.

I'm going to wait until my mum is back from Sydney on Sunday - As she is much more rational than dad, who si very stubborn and set in his ways. Old farmers *rolls eyes*.

I've been looking around and there are a lot of house sitters for free who have animal experience. I think the main thing he is worried about is our old dog, Chloe, who might cark it at anytime. It is also more complicated as we also have 5 dogs out at the farm - though there are people who could feed them if he asked, they just wouldn't get much excercise.

I really want to do this, well, do something - There is no way I can stay in this job for another year.

I'll be able to have a better talk with mum, especially as she knows how much I hate my job as she is the same - but she is stuck there now paying off our house, and I know she doesn't want the same for me.
 
#23 ·
You're 20. You need to do what is best for you and your parents should be happy for you. If they get upset then they'll get over it. You haven't mentioned any siblings so if you are an only child then they will get over it even faster. You may have to remind them that you are the one that will be choosing what nursing home they go to.
 
#24 ·
It really sounds like you want to do this. Remember, with regards to your parents, it's the parents' job to raise their kids then get the hell out of the way. It's the parents' job to make sacrifices for their kids, not the kid's job to put their life on hold for the parents.

It may be hard to leave your Dad, but a year is nothing for someone as old as he is, it will fly by (given that I'm likely younger than your dad, and years fly by for me these days :wink:). If your Mom or Dad do not want you to pursue your dreams because you wont be there to talk to or to take care of the dogs then they do not have their priorities straight.

Frankly, the stronger your parents object to your plan because of how it will inconvenience them, the more I think you need to get the hell out of that house now.

Try this method of decision making. Find a six sided die. On 1,2,3 you stay. On 4,5,6 you go. Roll the die, then do what you really wanted to do anyway (your gut reaction to the die roll should give you a good indication of what you really want to do).

Good luck!
 
#26 ·
Frankly, the stronger your parents object to your plan because of how it will inconvenience them, the more I think you need to get the hell out of that house now.
I just want to clarify that I haven't talked about this in any depth with my parents yet. I simply mentioned that I had been thinking about it to dad in front of the TV last night, and he said that next year might not be the best time because of their holiday.

I honestly don't think they will 'object' - it just might make things logistically a bit harder to organise.

They are very supportive of me and have never held me back from doing anything I chose to.

Thank you everyone for your posts so far :]
 
#27 ·
Do it. And do it this year.
Listen to Kevin.
If I had the chance to go away to school today for something I love, I could not go. I am the one with 2 kids on her hip!!
Timing is perfect. No relationship to make you want to stay. This might change a year from now, and being in love can influence all your decisions, not necessarily for the best.
Your parents will be fine, they can hire someone to care for their dogs while they go away. Maybe there is a young animal lover in your area who would be willing to exercise your dog? Here in Canada high school kids need to rack up so many hours of community service in order to graduate.. what about there?
You have a wonderful opportunity in front of you. You are young, strong, smart, and capable.
If you don't do this, you will Always look back with regret. If you do it and fail, you can always find a boring job.
I wish I were in your shoes right now!
Best of luck.
 
#28 ·
Well, the problem is, it's never going to be a perfect time to change your life. It's a problem that plagues everyone. There's always going to be something that makes you think "well, I guess I'll wait to do that...". This time it's taking care of the dogs, but the following year, it could be something else. Something will always pop up to make you want to put it off.

That's why it's so important to push through and MAKE IT the time to do it. That'll mean telling your parents "sorry, but I have to do this", or it'll mean selling your horses, even if you don't get as much as you want for them. I would also say not to even worry about not having enough saved up, student loans can have very little interest and aren't a burden. My husband pays about $100 a month for his. Plus assuming the the semester starting in the fall, you'd have a little bit of time to save up.

I know it's tough, but stay focused on your goal, and you will make it happen. Please please please don't let anything make you put off pursuing your goal.

I was about your age when I got shoved out my parents door, and honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Once you take the big leap, things have a way of working themselves out.

I also think you'd really enjoy being at school. College life is a great experience in itself, and I'm not talking about just drinking and parties, but there's lots of activities you could be apart of, plus you'd be learning about something you loved.

And as someone else mentioned, if for some reason it didn't work out, there's always a boring government job you could go back to.

I know I'm probably writing alot, but I'm really enthused for you! I really think you should do it!
 
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