Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota, currently in Montana
• Horses: 0
Dealing with boyfriends/significant others/and other non-horsey partners
So just looking for advice on a situation I'm in with my boyfriend that has me rather hurt.
The back story is earlier this year I went through the motions of respibsubly buying my first horse after 2 years of lessons and helping very closely with my trainer, being at the point in my life knowing exactly what I wanted, which I found. Of course he's far from perfect, but he's at the perfect level of training that I was at for me to progress him. Vet exams, farrier exams, and trial periods followed by 30 days training for a refresher.
Few months later my BF decides to get a horse, having never taken a lesson, and only ridden at a walk a handful of times. He finds a good deal on a small horse he considers perfect for him, first one he looks at, no vet checks, rode him once couldn't get him to listen but buys him on the spot.
Now this horse has obviously been roughly handled and ridden heavy handed all its life. It flinches at any movement by its head, it avoids any form of human contact, and when being ridden it refuses to work and has its ears pinned for most of the time when I'm on him making him listen. My BF sees him as lazy, when he really is quite defiant, disrespectful, and defiant. Its obvious to me that this pony needs someone almost daily to work with him, that he probably hasn't had any sort of bond or trust with a person, I feel so bad for him but I just don't have a time for him right now, not when my horse needs my time. He has only ridden him a handful of times, a couple of those times he had to make me get on him to correct him when misbehaving, yet he gets mad at me for trying to help him with riding tips, saying he wants to learn it on his own.
Apparently he feels that I just automatically dislike this horse since I don't praise him like I do all of my and my boy's accomplishments, yet all I've been saying is that he just needs to be worked with. He feels that I have no experience and no grounds to say what his horse needs even though I've ridden this horse more then he has, I've forced him to get farrier work and general care done when he didn't want to. He thinks my horse whom I ride at least several times weekly and have turned into an animal who people were afraid to go fast on due to loosing control to getting closer each day of having full control at his fastest gaits, is so much worse behaved then his this pony. He claims now he doesn't ride him because I said once I don't fully trust him yet, which I don't since he has bucked a bit with me asking him to lope.
I've simply laid it out in front of him, he either needs to spend the time to work with this poor horse, or find someone who will and spend a little more for a horse that's much better suited for him. So far he's refusing both and pinning it on me. So I'm stuck ignoring it all and taking back this lifelong dream of mine and stop trying to share it, or going out of my way to help this horse who really deserves someone to spend as much time with as possible, I just don't know if I have that sort of time to give him.